The Brew Crew - Cyder Cup VIII
Jan 27, 2024 17:22:09 GMT -5
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Post by coggin66 on Jan 27, 2024 17:22:09 GMT -5
CYDER CUP VIII
Day 4 - Singles - Matchplay:
Chuck Gunsaullus (Messengers) v Doe Coba (Assassins)
JOINING ME IN THE COMMENTARY BOX TODAY …
#10 - ROSS NIXON
Voiceover Guy:
The following broadcast is rated PG. Parental guidance is recommended.
[Intro Music plays]
RH: Welcome to our live commentary stream for the Final Day 4 of The Brew Crew Cyder Cup VIII. I'm your host Richard Head. Joining me in the commentary box today is the Captain of the Red team, Ross Nixon. Hello Ross.
Ross: G’day Dicko. Great to be here.
RH: Before we have a chat, let’s go down to the first tee.
At the First Tee:
[Fiona] My name is Princess Fiona and I want to welcome you to Day Four of Cyder Cup VIII, sponsored by Dickens Cyder. First up for the Messengers, from the US of A, is Chuck “Violin Guy” Gunsaullus.
Chuck tees off.
[Fiona] And now for the Assassins, from Denmark, we have Doe “A Deer, A Female Deer” Coba.
Doe tees off.
Back in the Studio:
RH: Doe is looking confident for this one but Chuck looks a bit down.
Ross: I think recent events in their respective countries are impacting them.
RH: How so?
Ross: Doe is looking happy and upbeat following the recent proclamation of their new King Frederik X following the abdication of the previous octagenarian Queen Margrehte II.
RH: An Aussie queen too from your beloved Tasmania.
Ross: Indeed. We can’t have an Aussie queen in our own country, not counting the Sydney Mardi Gras, but Denmark gets Aussie Queen Mary. I knew her when she was younger. Lovely girl. Bit of a hottie too.
RH: And Chuck?
Ross: He is definitely out of sorts. Who can blame him? The complete opposite in the Dis-United States. Instead of an octagenarian stepping down like in Denmark, it looks they are getting a repeat battle of the doddery, senile octagenarian against the crazy, narcissistic near octogenarian. A super power of 330 million people and that’s the best they can find? It’s enough to make anyone despondent.
[Editor’s Comment - I thought we said no politics, Ken?]
[Response to Editor - Satire, Mark. Plus the rest of the world has to laugh otherwise we’d cry]
RH: Let’s get back to the match. They halved the first hole but Chuck is getting his violin out. Do you know what that’s about?
Ross: Yes. A little tip I gave him. If he needs a lift, I told him to get his violin out and play “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music. It will have the dual effect of making himself feel good but also really p!ssing off Doe.
RH: Nice gamesmanship. So, how are you feeling, Ross? You look poised to take victory for the Red team for the first time since Cyder Cup 2.
Ross: It is looking promising but I’ve learned that this competition is not over until the fat lady sings.
RH: I understand. You don’t want to be too confident. However, you really did lead from the front this week. I know only three rounds counted but you played all four rounds for -66. Astonishing play.
Ross: Thanks Dicko. I appreciate the kind words.
RH: Let’s see how the match is going. Well the violin playing seems to have worked. Chuck has won the 2nd and 3rd holes to go 2 Up. Thoughts Ross.
Ross: A good start from Chuck.
RH: At the last Cyder Cup, we had Sean in the studio and he was gracious enough to take some listener’s calls. Are you prepared to do the same?
Ross: Sure Dicko.
RH: Great. That was quick. We have our first caller already.
??: Hi, Tim here, eh.
RH: Hi Tim, what would you like to ask Ross?
TB: Why do you keep quoting Ken’s whole reports? They’re long enough, eh? What’s that all aboot?
Ross: Sorry Tim. Bad habit, I’m afraid.
TB: I nearly broke my scroll wheel reading Ken’s murder mystery report the first time, eh? Plus, I’m usually stoned out of my mind. I read it again in your quoted version without realising, eh? I guessed the murderer right the second time though.
RH: Well done, Tim. Thanks for your call. Let’s get back to the match.
Ross: They’ve reached the 7th hole. It looks like they halved the 4th and 5th but Doe won the 6th to get one back. I suspect the violin might come out again soon.
RH: We have another caller. Who is it?
??: When are you coming home?
RH: Who is this?
??: You stuck me in this effing locker and you didn’t even bother to face me outwards so I could peep through the slats in the door and perv on that yummy locker attendant.
Ross: Sorry Dicko. I think it’s my second head that I left at the airport before flying out here. Sorry, second head. I’ll be back soon.
??: Fcuk you.
Second head hangs up.
Ross: Sorry, Dicko. I knew it was risky leaving him a phone to watch these matches.
RH: OK. Let’s check back on the match. Chuck is still 1 Up after they halved 7 and 8. The players are on the 9th tee.
Ross: Chuck is getting his violin out again to play “Do-Re-Mi”. The crowd is singing along this time.
RH: Doe looks really annoyed now. Anyway, next caller.
??: It’s Ken Wise
Ross: Hi Ken. We should play a live match again soon.
RH: What’s your question for Ross?
KW: We used to be similar in standard. How did you get so good while I got so mediocre?
Ross: Did you try the Wolverine device I recommended?
KW: I did but it didn’t help. Those bl00dy long claws keep getting in the way!
RH: OK. I wonder if we’ll get a sensible caller anytime soon
[Editor’s Comment - Knowing your reports Ken, not likely]
RH: That violin playing on the 9th tee really helped. Chuck has won the next three holes to go 4 Up after 11 holes. We have another caller.
??: Hi, it’s Mark Lawrence. I’m going to be editing Ken’s report for this match. When Fiona announces Doe at the start, do you think people will prefer Doe “Re Mi Fa So La Ti” Coba or Doe “A deer, a female deer” Coba?
Ross: I prefer the second one.
ML: So do I. I’m going to change it to that. Bye.
RH: More nonsense from the callers. I’m having my doubts about this segment
[Response to Editor - That’s what happens when you give me facetious Editor’s Comments]
[Editor’s Comment - I’m having my doubts about this segment too!]
RH: Doe got one back on the 12th but they’ve halved holes 13 and 14.
Ross: Chuck is 3 Up with four to play. He’s getting the violin out again. Ha, ha. This time the crowd are joining in and his Mercury Messenger teammates are doing the dance routine they’ve been practising. Look at Les in his lederhosen.
RH: Not a pretty sight. I think we have time for one more caller.
??: Helo, dynion iechyd da
Ross: Is that you Taffman Paul? English please.
PD: Sorry gents.
RH: Your question for Ross.
PD: You may have seen Sean Prowse’s avatar on the forum. Les and I have a little wager going about which cartoon Womble that represents. Les thinks it’s Tobermory but I say it’s Orinoco. Can you adjudicate for us please?
Ross: Why don’t you just ask Sean?
PD: You told us not to talk to any Assassins this week, so we are asking you.
Ross: Well, I think you are both wrong. I think it is Rastamouse.
RH: For the love of god, what is wrong with you people!
Ross: That’s The Brew Crew for you, Dicko.
RH: Well Chuck has just won the 15th hole to win the match 4 & 3
Ross: You little ripper!
RH: I think that takes your Messengers to within half a point of victory. You probably want to join your team in preparation for likely victory. Thank you for joining us today Ross.
Ross: My pleasure.
RH: Thank you listeners. Until the next Cyder Cup, it’s goodbye from me, Richard Head.
THE END
Day 4 - Singles - Matchplay:
Chuck Gunsaullus (Messengers) v Doe Coba (Assassins)
JOINING ME IN THE COMMENTARY BOX TODAY …
#10 - ROSS NIXON
Voiceover Guy:
The following broadcast is rated PG. Parental guidance is recommended.
[Intro Music plays]
RH: Welcome to our live commentary stream for the Final Day 4 of The Brew Crew Cyder Cup VIII. I'm your host Richard Head. Joining me in the commentary box today is the Captain of the Red team, Ross Nixon. Hello Ross.
Ross: G’day Dicko. Great to be here.
RH: Before we have a chat, let’s go down to the first tee.
At the First Tee:
[Fiona] My name is Princess Fiona and I want to welcome you to Day Four of Cyder Cup VIII, sponsored by Dickens Cyder. First up for the Messengers, from the US of A, is Chuck “Violin Guy” Gunsaullus.
Chuck tees off.
[Fiona] And now for the Assassins, from Denmark, we have Doe “A Deer, A Female Deer” Coba.
Doe tees off.
Back in the Studio:
RH: Doe is looking confident for this one but Chuck looks a bit down.
Ross: I think recent events in their respective countries are impacting them.
RH: How so?
Ross: Doe is looking happy and upbeat following the recent proclamation of their new King Frederik X following the abdication of the previous octagenarian Queen Margrehte II.
RH: An Aussie queen too from your beloved Tasmania.
Ross: Indeed. We can’t have an Aussie queen in our own country, not counting the Sydney Mardi Gras, but Denmark gets Aussie Queen Mary. I knew her when she was younger. Lovely girl. Bit of a hottie too.
RH: And Chuck?
Ross: He is definitely out of sorts. Who can blame him? The complete opposite in the Dis-United States. Instead of an octagenarian stepping down like in Denmark, it looks they are getting a repeat battle of the doddery, senile octagenarian against the crazy, narcissistic near octogenarian. A super power of 330 million people and that’s the best they can find? It’s enough to make anyone despondent.
[Editor’s Comment - I thought we said no politics, Ken?]
[Response to Editor - Satire, Mark. Plus the rest of the world has to laugh otherwise we’d cry]
RH: Let’s get back to the match. They halved the first hole but Chuck is getting his violin out. Do you know what that’s about?
Ross: Yes. A little tip I gave him. If he needs a lift, I told him to get his violin out and play “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music. It will have the dual effect of making himself feel good but also really p!ssing off Doe.
RH: Nice gamesmanship. So, how are you feeling, Ross? You look poised to take victory for the Red team for the first time since Cyder Cup 2.
Ross: It is looking promising but I’ve learned that this competition is not over until the fat lady sings.
RH: I understand. You don’t want to be too confident. However, you really did lead from the front this week. I know only three rounds counted but you played all four rounds for -66. Astonishing play.
Ross: Thanks Dicko. I appreciate the kind words.
RH: Let’s see how the match is going. Well the violin playing seems to have worked. Chuck has won the 2nd and 3rd holes to go 2 Up. Thoughts Ross.
Ross: A good start from Chuck.
RH: At the last Cyder Cup, we had Sean in the studio and he was gracious enough to take some listener’s calls. Are you prepared to do the same?
Ross: Sure Dicko.
RH: Great. That was quick. We have our first caller already.
??: Hi, Tim here, eh.
RH: Hi Tim, what would you like to ask Ross?
TB: Why do you keep quoting Ken’s whole reports? They’re long enough, eh? What’s that all aboot?
Ross: Sorry Tim. Bad habit, I’m afraid.
TB: I nearly broke my scroll wheel reading Ken’s murder mystery report the first time, eh? Plus, I’m usually stoned out of my mind. I read it again in your quoted version without realising, eh? I guessed the murderer right the second time though.
RH: Well done, Tim. Thanks for your call. Let’s get back to the match.
Ross: They’ve reached the 7th hole. It looks like they halved the 4th and 5th but Doe won the 6th to get one back. I suspect the violin might come out again soon.
RH: We have another caller. Who is it?
??: When are you coming home?
RH: Who is this?
??: You stuck me in this effing locker and you didn’t even bother to face me outwards so I could peep through the slats in the door and perv on that yummy locker attendant.
Ross: Sorry Dicko. I think it’s my second head that I left at the airport before flying out here. Sorry, second head. I’ll be back soon.
??: Fcuk you.
Second head hangs up.
Ross: Sorry, Dicko. I knew it was risky leaving him a phone to watch these matches.
RH: OK. Let’s check back on the match. Chuck is still 1 Up after they halved 7 and 8. The players are on the 9th tee.
Ross: Chuck is getting his violin out again to play “Do-Re-Mi”. The crowd is singing along this time.
RH: Doe looks really annoyed now. Anyway, next caller.
??: It’s Ken Wise
Ross: Hi Ken. We should play a live match again soon.
RH: What’s your question for Ross?
KW: We used to be similar in standard. How did you get so good while I got so mediocre?
Ross: Did you try the Wolverine device I recommended?
KW: I did but it didn’t help. Those bl00dy long claws keep getting in the way!
RH: OK. I wonder if we’ll get a sensible caller anytime soon
[Editor’s Comment - Knowing your reports Ken, not likely]
RH: That violin playing on the 9th tee really helped. Chuck has won the next three holes to go 4 Up after 11 holes. We have another caller.
??: Hi, it’s Mark Lawrence. I’m going to be editing Ken’s report for this match. When Fiona announces Doe at the start, do you think people will prefer Doe “Re Mi Fa So La Ti” Coba or Doe “A deer, a female deer” Coba?
Ross: I prefer the second one.
ML: So do I. I’m going to change it to that. Bye.
RH: More nonsense from the callers. I’m having my doubts about this segment
[Response to Editor - That’s what happens when you give me facetious Editor’s Comments]
[Editor’s Comment - I’m having my doubts about this segment too!]
RH: Doe got one back on the 12th but they’ve halved holes 13 and 14.
Ross: Chuck is 3 Up with four to play. He’s getting the violin out again. Ha, ha. This time the crowd are joining in and his Mercury Messenger teammates are doing the dance routine they’ve been practising. Look at Les in his lederhosen.
RH: Not a pretty sight. I think we have time for one more caller.
??: Helo, dynion iechyd da
Ross: Is that you Taffman Paul? English please.
PD: Sorry gents.
RH: Your question for Ross.
PD: You may have seen Sean Prowse’s avatar on the forum. Les and I have a little wager going about which cartoon Womble that represents. Les thinks it’s Tobermory but I say it’s Orinoco. Can you adjudicate for us please?
Ross: Why don’t you just ask Sean?
PD: You told us not to talk to any Assassins this week, so we are asking you.
Ross: Well, I think you are both wrong. I think it is Rastamouse.
RH: For the love of god, what is wrong with you people!
Ross: That’s The Brew Crew for you, Dicko.
RH: Well Chuck has just won the 15th hole to win the match 4 & 3
Ross: You little ripper!
RH: I think that takes your Messengers to within half a point of victory. You probably want to join your team in preparation for likely victory. Thank you for joining us today Ross.
Ross: My pleasure.
RH: Thank you listeners. Until the next Cyder Cup, it’s goodbye from me, Richard Head.
THE END