(Press Pool Offices, Mark Lawrence walks in on the phone)
ML: Please, would you consider coming out of retirement? We desperately need something for day 4 coverage
ML: Uh huh, sure, sure….yeah, Jim just quit and then tried coming back….sure….yes that is what I want
ML: So we’ll see you for Match 13 then? Great! I really appreciate this, see you soon!
Ben Tough: Who was that?
ML: That was Mark Buenger, we’re bringing him back in for Jim
BT: And he’s going to sing?
ML: Of course! Bing will sing!
(Bing enters the building)
ML: Bing! Welcome in buddy, thanks again for filling in
MB: No problem Mark. I can’t believe Jim pulled that and then pretended like nothing happened
ML: Yeah that was quite the shock. We may have enabled him a little too much at the last Cyder Cup. So, are you ready to go?
MB: Sure am! Let’s do this!
(Bing enters the studio)
MB: Hello Pixel Gold enthusiasts! And welcome to day 4 of the Cyder Cup. Today we see the high flying Ross
asyoudo64 for the Messengers matched up against Marcus
cobrachicken for the Assassins. While Marcus is a fine player, with the way Ross has been playing this season, it’s hard to believe this will come down to the end
ML (In Bing’s ear): I thought you were going to sing! If I wanted a standard broadcast I’d have called someone else!
MB: So let’s get to the action…
(Music starts - “I’m a Believer” by Smash Mouth rings through the studio)
I thought golf was only played in summertime
Meant for warmer days and not for snow
Then we found this ski lodge, and the grass was green
Ross and Marcus split the op’ning hole
And then Marcus scored one
And Ross was behind now
And not a trace
Of doubt in his mind
Makes some putts (ooooo ahhh)
He takes the lead now
He couldn’t lose now if he tried
Ross winning was more or less a given thing
Each putt he made the more he stretched the lead
Marcus sure was trying. Couldn’t make his shots
“Maybe Ross is some kind of robot?”
And now we’re on the back
And Ross is up four now
And not a trace
Of doubt in his mind
Presses on (ooooo ahhh)
Stretches the lead now
We’re on thirteen now, he’s up six
(Musical interlude)
“What’s the use in trying?” “All I get is pain”
“My hopes of winning are down the drain”
And then the match was done
Ross wins it six and five
Not a trace of doubt in his mind
That’s all folks
Messengers take points
“Maybe next time mate”, shakes his hand
Then they walk away
And drive to the clubhouse
The match over, the fans walk away
And that’s all for today
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(Jim Nantz sitting at the bar watching on TV)
Richard Head: Wow that was pretty good!
JN: Do you know what he said to me?
RH: Bing?
JN: No, Mark Lawrence
RH: Oh right…well you did quit. So that’s it then?
JN: No
RH: Well if that’s not it then what’s next?
JN: I’ve got plans
RH: What kind of plans?
JN: What’s the difference?
RH: You don’t wanna tell me?
JN: (Pauses) I’m gonna slip him a mickey
RH: What, in his drink? Are you outta your mind?
JN: You don’t understand, the press pool post Cyder Cup party is coming up. The opportunity will be there
RH: You’ve really gone mental
JN: Nah