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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 14:06:27 GMT -5
im well relieved with this
although i would have lost anyway imagine my gut feeling if i had won & not posted & being the difference between team win or not
id have quit 2k for good lol
It's 19-19 with 2 results to come in! Just make sure you don't forget to post your cards in the regular season Danny. My advice FWIW? Post as soon as you finish your round!! |
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Post by IGolfBad on Mar 19, 2022 15:12:26 GMT -5
The Brew Crew Cyder Cup V - THE BIG REVEAL Match 31: Monarchs' Ashton Fox ( Ashton Fox) vs Strikers' Paul Matchen ( Harveydog500) in head to head action Your roving reporter, Pharm Doc Lawrence aka IGolfBad here to day to bring you all the exciting action, and folks, I've just been handed notice that we are down to the make or break round for the Monarchs, as the two teams find themselves in a 19-19 tie. The pressure is on these hardy and capable participants as either Paul can secure at least an overall tie and thus allow the Azure Dissenters to secure the Cup for a third consecutive season, or Ashton can take the round and force the final match to be for the overall win and a return of the cup to the Crimson Lepidoptrae. We take our book of fancy words and find our way out to the links with the combatants. Nerves held sway on the first hole and both Ashton and Paul played things unobtrusively, each reaching the putting surface in the acceptable number of strokes and two-putted for pars. But it was on the next hole, a par 5, that Ashton started to flex his brawn, bombing a drive to within 70 yards of the green (piss sample acquired and submitted for review in the event that Ashton wins), while Paul took the scenic route, again reaching the green in regulation. Both players two-putted once more, giving Ashton the hole and a 1-up lead. Paul kept things close to the vest on #3, insisting in greens in regulation, while Ashton, clearly juiced at this point, drove the par 4 green from the tee, with an absolute rocket of a drive that nestled in at a very generous spot, extremely proximal to the pin, leaving him with an easy tap-in Haliaeetus leucocephalus. Paul settled for a Passer rutilans giving Ashton the 2-up lead (another piss sample was obtained, this time under the watchful eye of Carol, who left the collection tent laughing uncontrollably, for reasons that we can only speculate upon). Play continued in a similar fashion on the 4th hole, with Paul quietly underperforming, going once stroke poorer than Ashton, and the Scarlet Moth was ahead 3-up, with and early victory in sight. With Ashton emasculated by the echoes of Carol's guffawing at his diminutiveness, he shanked a tee shot into the scrub on the par 5 #5, opening the door to Paul's ongoing conservative play. Ashton did manage to find the green in 3 strokes, but left himself with a long, undulating birdie putt. Starting to feel dehydrated from all sample collections, the birdie putt managed to stop 20 feet from the hole, and Ashton settled himself down enough to successfully hole out with par. Paul played everything according to Hoyle with two on the fairway, and nice up and down, and a simple as ABC birdie putt, bringing Ashton's lead down to 2-up. In a show of virtue, recognizing that Ashton's fluid status was substandard, Paul reached into his bag and pulled out an unopened fifth of rum, which he generously handed to Ashton. The Raider of Rum pulled two snifters from his golf bag and poured 3 fingers of rum into one of them, handing it to Paul. Ashton then proceeded to drain the bottle in one fell swoop, while Paul took a compulsory sip from his glass before tossing the rest over his shoulder, completely out of site of Ashton's bloodshot eye. "Save that bottle, bud," muttered Paul. "You can get 5 cents back on it for recycling." Unwavered, Ashton tucked the bottle into his golf/fishing vest. "Keep that for posterity, I will." Both golfers exchanged pars and moved on to the 7th hole. Feeling renewed and bushy-tailed from the rum, Ashton proceeded to outdo Paul, who continued the slow and steady pace of going one shot poorer on the 7th and 8th, pushing the Emperors' lead to 4-up. The writing was on the wall. Except Ashton wasn't able to read it, as his head started to feel muffled. "Still have that bottle, old chap?" asked Paul. Ashton fished the bottle out of his vest and slurred "shoor doo, old chimmm". Paul took the bottle, pointed to the label and said, "See this? Strongbow Rum - Blue Label. That's right, Strongbow does rum now, check out the small print on the Blue Label." Paul tossed the bottle back to Ashton, who nearly... nope, he did... who fell over face first onto the 9th tee grass, next to the bottle, groaning and chewing on grass like a cow. "Jesus, I'll read it for you." Paul plucked the bottle from the ground, taking care not to trip over his crumpled opponent. "Says here that 'Strongbow Rum - Blue Label is 180 proof' and that it's 'suitable for sterilization of surgical surfaces and instruments'. See, pal, you're not only completely stoned, you're also completely sterile. Say goodbye to any potential you had for paternity, sucker!" Holding honors, Ashton's caddie struggled to hold him up at the tee box, but Ashton was able to contact the ball with his driver, then proceeded to crush his caddie's skull on the follow through. "Thash gonna leave a marsch tommrrrro." Naturally the ball found nothing resembling fairway, landing the in the clubhouse parking lot, and finding out of bounds territory that wasn't even marked on the course. Paul played the hole as intended, comfortably taking par, while Ashton ended with a double bogey, dropping the lead to 3-up at the turn, and Ashton nowhere near recovery. Paul took advantage of Ashton's inebriation shooting par-birdie to Ashton's bogey-par, cutting the lead to 1-up in favor of the Fuschia Flutterbies through 11 holes. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, the skies darkened and dropped quick but powerful icy cold rain shower on the course, drenching both of the golfers. Fortune smiled on Ashton that day, as the soaker rapidly brought him back to sobriety. "More rum, my friend?" offered Paul. "Fcuk off, cheater!" screamed Ashton. "I know your game!!" followed by >vomit< all over Paul's shoes. "Seriously, Lawrence?" whined Paul, "Again with the shoes? Jeebus!" As it stood, the final seven holes were played shot for shot, score for score, until Paul ran out of holes, and Ashton's mission was complete. As the golfer's shook hands on the green. Paul leaned in with a wry grin and whispered "you may have won this round, buddy, but the war is still unsettled. By the way, Carol says you have a little d.." >END OF TRANSMISSION< Monarchs win 1-up |
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Post by IGolfBad on Mar 19, 2022 15:42:04 GMT -5
Cyder Cup V Epilogue The scene, the Cyder Cup Press Pool Tent, where Lawrence sits at his portable mahogany credenza, sporting two handles and covered with moss: ML: ONIONS!!! GET IN HERE PRONTO, YOU DIPSTICK!!! Johnny stumbles into the tent, almost tripping over the guide cord. JO: Yes, boss? You wanted to see me? ML: You're damn right, I wanted to see you! You realize you were covering the final match of the week, the one between Dan Blanton (Monarchs) and Mark Murray (Team Mark) to decide the final outcome of the Cup? DO YOU??? JO: Sure did, boss! Just didn't have time to write anything good. Life and stuff, you know, had to place some bets on the basketball tournament and play race cars with the Brew Crew Race Car Club. I'd have gotten here sooner, but Les was struggling to get his charter jet fired up on Flight Simulator, and I was almost stranded in Orlando. ML: Well, let's see what you've got. Mark takes Johnny's note pad from his sweaty grip and starts reading. ML : Hmmmm.... she's not my niece.... holes out for birdie... barely misses the eagle but ... what's this say? ... grplkt makes the eagle putt... yes, yes... JO: Pretty good, eh, boss? ML (not looking up from the paper): ... halved the hole... birdie... bogey... birdie... halved... even at the turn... Mark looks up from the notepad. ML: Are you kidding me with this garbage? Didn't you put down names? JO: No way, boss... HIPAA rules and all that. Can't breach confidentiality. Mark's face starts to glow red. ML: I swear, Onions... you're lucky that HIPAA even exists, otherwise I'd tell everyone your real name. And I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!!! JO: Truth there, boss. Mark continues to read. ML: ...Carol knickers... Bradford ugly wife... birdie... birdie bogey... halved... birdie birdie birdie... two birdies... hole halved... celebration... wins the Cup... champagne showers... cigars passed around... tears of joy... tears of sorrow... Mark squints at the pad ML: Is this blood? JO: You know it, boss... Ashton threw an empty rum bottle at me and cut my hand with it. Bad form, bro... bad form. ML: Well, who won, you dolt? It's not on here! JO: Sure it is, boss! I stole a lemon from the bar, and used my finger nail to write the final score in lemon juice, right there! Mark looks around the tent, frantically looking for a heat source. Seeing none, he runs out of the tent and finds a lighter on the ground, the sounds of celebrating in the distance, far too distant to determine who was celebrating. Grabbing the lighter, he put the paper just above the flame and just before it is completely engulfed in flames, he's able to make out some printing... 3 and 2 ML: GODAMMIT, ONIONS! WHAT IS THIS sh%$? JO: It's the score, boss, just like you wanted!! Johnny starts to shuffle away... Mark: Hey... just a minute. Why aren't you celebrating with your team? JO: What's the point? Murray won the round and it all finished 20 to 20. I ain't about kissing my sister. Johnny leaves the scene, as Mark comes to a realization... ML: 20 to 20 tie... HEY! THE STRIKERS KEEP THE CUP! THE STRIKERS KEEP THE CUP! THE STRIKERS KEEP THE CUP! fin  |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 15:53:06 GMT -5
WOW!! Another 20-20. That is pretty unbelievable.
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Post by IGolfBad on Mar 19, 2022 15:55:26 GMT -5
I'll let the Captains exchange pleasantries here, but in the mean time, a very loud and proud shout out the all the members of the Press Pool: Carol inflames47 , Ross @asyoudo, Johnny evilgrin72 , Ken W coggin66 , Ben SkyBlueBen , Mark B mbuenger , Marc Crazy Croc , Paul and Paul sid snott Harveydog500 Every write up was top notch entertainment, and we the Brew Crew should recognize the efforts of this amazing group. I couldn't be more pleased with the work of everyone involved in this season of the Cyder Cup, another epic competition, coming right down to the final match. Thank you everyone for giving us an audience to share our collective talents. We appreciate every single member of the best society in TGC. And now, I'm going to go spend the next 10 days in a hot tub full of puppies. IGB OUT! |
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Post by asyoudo64 on Mar 19, 2022 16:02:11 GMT -5
I'll let the Captains exchange pleasantries here, but in the mean time, a very loud and proud shout out the all the members of the Press Pool: Carol inflames47 , Ross @asyoudo, Johnny evilgrin72 , Ken W coggin66 , Ben SkyBlueBen , Mark B mbuenger , Marc Crazy Croc , Paul and Paul sid snott Harveydog500 Every write up was top notch entertainment, and we the Brew Crew should recognize the efforts of this amazing group. I couldn't be more pleased with the work of everyone involved in this season of the Cyder Cup, another epic competition, coming right down to the final match. Thank you everyone for giving us an audience to share our collective talents. We appreciate every single member of the best society in TGC. And now, I'm going to go spend the next 10 days in a hot tub full of puppies. IGB OUT! Enjoy the puppies mate. You've earned them.  |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 16:02:41 GMT -5
The Cyder Cup VMagners Monarchs 20 Strongbow Strikers 20
Strikers retain Trophy as holdersFINAL SCOREBOARD
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Post by asyoudo64 on Mar 19, 2022 16:16:11 GMT -5
Comeback of the century. Well done to Ken and all his Strikers. No mercy next time 😉  |
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Post by Loftyando on Mar 19, 2022 19:23:10 GMT -5
It was another awesome Cyder Cup.
Congratulations to Ken coggin66 and his Strikers team. What a great comeback on day 4 to tie and retain the Cup.
I'd just like to say a big thank you to Ben SkyBlueBen and Art Art Vandelay for all the work behind the scenes. Well done guys, another smoothly run event.
To IGolfBad Mark and his amazing team of reporters, well done guys. I loved reading every match report. We have some very talented people in our group.
And a big thank you to all our players who make this an wonderful group to be apart of.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Mar 19, 2022 20:28:17 GMT -5
What an entertaining way to start my Sunday here in HK. Great reads IGolfBad, now I see why you are the leader of a band of very talented monkeys. YES it is your circus, this press corps, be PROUD of your monkeys! I have never been so entertained by a forum thread than I have been this week. Great to see that Ashton Ashton Fox has rediscovered the flame that keeps the Cyder Cup burning, his passion for the competition has kept the interest in it so seeing him rescind his retirement papers as Top Monarch is good for the event. Congrats to my fellow Strikers! How in the world did we do it?!?!? The leadership that Ken coggin66 and Paul Harveydog500 no doubt kept us swimming even when all looked dire. Pop some corks! Enjoy the win and be gracious towards your Monarch adversaries as next week they may be your teammates in battle for TBC Season 10 honors. Onward! |
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Post by coggin66 on Mar 19, 2022 21:35:27 GMT -5
Cyder Cup V - The Final Interview
RH: I have the two Team Captains with me. That was another nail-biting finish. A draw again, so the Strikers retain the cup for a third time. Are we ever going to be able to separate you two? Ashton: Just like in Cyder Cup IV, my Monarchs led for the first three days but Ken managed to rally his Strikers on Day 4 to get the draw and retain the Cup. Congratulations Ken. I was going to retire as the Monarchs captain but I’m not sure I can do that now until I’ve beaten you. RH: Ken, you lost both pairs days by 6-4 to go into the singles 12-8. You only halved the Day 3 singles 5-5 to be trailing 17-13 going into Day 4. Did you really think that your team could come back from that? Ken: I had taken the risk of putting more of my top seeds into the Day 4 line-up, so I was hopeful but it was a tough ask. I’m really proud of my Strikers and a big thank you to my Vice Captain Paul for rallying the troops. RH:It was a great comeback. Do you have anything else to say? Ken: I really want to thank Ashton for his sportsmanship and to Carol & Ross and the rest of the Monarchs for putting up such a strong fight. I also want to thank all the people organising this. Without you, this would not be possible. RH: I do have one final question. There was no sign of our favourite barman, bogeyman at this Cyder Cup. Ken: ‘No Tempo Pete’? The Strikers gave him a secret mission as a back-up plan, code-named Operation Jam-Oram-Boree. We didn’t end up needing it because Dan’s early onset dementia kicked in and he forgot to post his card. I just hope that clears up for Season 10, because he’s one of my Wise Wonders for next season. [Roll End Credits]
Many thanks to: Set Designer - Crazycanuck1985 Location Manager - Dan Blanton Head Writer - Mark Lawrence Director - Art Vandelay Producer - Ben Tough [Cut to End Easter Egg]:
[Later that night, in the open air ice disco created by Elsa, both teams are partying] Ken: We’re at the Northern Lights. I think we need a lightshow. Mark, can you work some magic? Mark: Sorry captain, I’m chatting up Elsa. I love it when someone starts singing for no reason. Ken: Not you, the other Mark Mark: Sorry captain, I’m cleaning up the Press room after you lot Ken: Not you, the other Mark Mark: Yes, captain. What do you want? Ken: Use that magic of yours to give us a decent light show Mark: OK. “Aurora Borealis” [The night sky is bathed in blue and red waves of light. Everyone watches in awe … until an enormous bright white, skull-like apparition appears in the sky and talks in a deep, booming voice …] Apparition: ENJOY YOUR FUN. YOU ALL THINK THIS IS A GAME. BUT YOU ARE WRONG. THIS IS A GAME WITHIN A GAME WITHIN A GAME. THE OUTSIDE IS WATCHING YOU ALL [The apparition vanishes leaving just the blue and red light show] The Brew Crew in unison: What the fcuk was that about? [Fade to Black] TO BE CONTINUED IN CYDER CUP VI
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Post by Ashton Fox on Mar 19, 2022 21:42:56 GMT -5
Another tie?! I guess we can't pair 'em and we can't play 'em any closer, eh coggin66 ? Congrats to you and the Strikers! 🤝 Monarchs, so to is life. Sometimes you can have the sweet taste of victory so close to your lips only to sneeze and spill it on your blouse 😂. Take pride in the fact that we were one tournament away from having kept the Cup 2 times in a row as this thing is simply about timing at this point 🙂 (we can't seem to settle differences out on the course 😂). I enjoyed the week and again, I don't know what the future holds but hopefully you'd have me back as your captain once more. 🦋 inflames47 & asyoudo64 the Vice Captains - thank you for your work in the locker room! I value the both of you very much! 🙂 To the admin, we aren't here without you and all you do is appreciated! The lights flickering for a bit there had far less to do with your power grid but more about my breaker box. This competition is tried and true and that's because of you all doing what you do. Most excellent! 🍻 To the press crew, wonderful job and your passion comes through in the time and effort you all put in. It's easy to see how great of a job you all do as there is complement after compliment. Three cheers! 🍻 I've shared my thoughts about the tournament already and that has unwaivered even after the result. Not the one I wanted but it's the one we got. Que será, será 🙂 Until next time! P.S. - IGolfBad :  (But not with Art Vandelay ... And speaking of... What a brilliant job you do! 🙂) Until the beer turns to Cyder once more!  🦊🦋 |
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Post by Ashton Fox on Mar 19, 2022 23:08:26 GMT -5
 Going 3-0 and winning a nail biting match on Day 4 means diddly poo when you're not popping champagne with your people at the end of the day. Given the chance, I'd humiliate myself in a round on Fox5 and lose terribly if it meant the team was raising the trophy at the end. In real life, I've been having conversations with others about the man in the tower versus the man on the field. The man in the tower rules by telling others to do what he is too chicken to do himself (thus why he hides in the tower). The man on the field leads by example and walks into battle with and for his fellow man, not shielded by them. When the man in the tower dies, the men on the field may very well put down their arms because they weren't fighting for someone they believed in. When the man on the field dies, the remaining men fight harder because they didn't just lose a man, they lost a brother. A single person and their thoughts and ideas (no matter how dark or bright) can be wiped away and forgotten. A culture, on the other hand, is far more difficult to eliminate. I think maybe some of these world leaders could benefit from playing in a Cyder Cup or two. Maybe they'd learn what it means like to be on a team, a real team. How in one week we divide as red and blue but then we go back to a hodgepodge of whomevers. Individuality is expressed and the news entertains but it never lies when it matters. There is something different in it for everyone yet everyone has the same thing (the golf, a good time) in mind and as a top priority. The results are fair and accurate and we are assured of that because people are held accountable (which actually shows care and makes us better people in the end) and we stick to the rules, even when the ART of doing that is TOUGH. And at the end of the day, we all smile, shake hands, and wish each other well because it's about community (and I'm biased as heck but we have a great one here!) Again, I don't know what the future holds but it looks pretty bright around here. Que cerá, cerá Cheers, my friends. 🍻 🦊🏴☠️ |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 20, 2022 3:26:05 GMT -5
I'll let the Captains exchange pleasantries here, but in the mean time, a very loud and proud shout out the all the members of the Press Pool: Carol inflames47 , Ross @asyoudo, Johnny evilgrin72 , Ken W coggin66 , Ben SkyBlueBen , Mark B mbuenger , Marc Crazy Croc , Paul and Paul sid snott Harveydog500 Every write up was top notch entertainment, and we the Brew Crew should recognize the efforts of this amazing group. I couldn't be more pleased with the work of everyone involved in this season of the Cyder Cup, another epic competition, coming right down to the final match. Thank you everyone for giving us an audience to share our collective talents. We appreciate every single member of the best society in TGC. And now, I'm going to go spend the next 10 days in a hot tub full of puppies. IGB OUT! Where's Johnny?  |
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Post by Celtic Wolf on Mar 20, 2022 5:59:13 GMT -5
First of all I'd like to thank the organisers and press corps for making the Cyder Cup such an entertaining and bizarre event. I'll also give a shout out to the captains and vice captains as their selections made this another tight affair, one stroke was the difference in few matches and could've led to a different outcome. Lastly I'd like to mention the rest of the teams because without your commitment to the group it wouldn't be the spectacle it is. I think the final score just shows how good a job the group has done on keeping the teams well balanced.
We've now got season 10 with our new teams to look forward to, so I wish you all the best for the new season.
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