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Post by Crazy Croc on Mar 19, 2022 2:40:40 GMT -5
Day 3, Match 10
Randy Zubowicz vs Ken Wise
Randy only arrived back from Vegas 3 minutes before his tee time. Now we don't know what happened in Vegas, maybe he got married, maybe he played the slots - or maybe had enough of a roll to hit the tables or maybe he just had to go and see his Parole Officer. Ken on the other hand used his time like a wise old owl, he checked and rechecked his course notes, made sure he had enough balls in the bag, measured the length of his tees, red ones for the driver, blues for the 3 wood and greens for the irons and just when he thought he wins by default Randy, unshaven and with breath smelling like a peppermint explosion stumbled onto the 1st tee. Sorry Mate, I overslept...
The game itself was very delicately balanced as both teams are running neck and neck and the winner of the match might eventually turn out to be on the winning side when all is done. Both players played their hearts out, the score fluctuating with Randy getting ahead by one, only for Ken to reverse and go up by one again. The match turned on its head on the 17th. With the score all square and Ken having the honours he chose to hit a 3 wood off the tee. In the fading light he fished for what he thought was a blue tee, only it was green. Only a tiny bit shorter than the blue one it made just enough of a difference to send the ball 2 feet into the deep rough. The result was a bogey, not just a bogey, but the only bogey anyone of the two players would make that day.
One down on par 5 18th and Ken could only watch and smile wryly when Randy drained his 2nd shot from 280 yards out for an unlikely albatross killing any chance of squaring the match.
In the aftermath Randy, well, I wouldn't know if lucky day means a full 24 hours or from sunrise to sunset or perhaps luck is finite and Randy used his whole quota that moment right there on the course, but I heard he flew straight back to Vegas
And Ken? He now uses yellow tees for his irons
Monarchs 2 up
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Post by sid snott on Mar 19, 2022 3:13:32 GMT -5
Day 4 match 5 Ross 'Thattado' Nixon vs Alan 'Suit's you sir' Taylor
Decided to bring Daisy dog to report on this as well as Scary because everyone likes Daisy and they don't run away from her like they do with Scary.
As we were walking into the press area, head of the press Mark shouted Oiii , put a bloody lead on that dog and make sure you have some poop bag's. So I put Mary on a lease and said you'd better go to the ladies ?? room , because I ain't picking your sh!t up , can't stomach the smell. She wasn't happy.
Ross came out all guns blazing taking 4 of the first 5 holes to pull out what was looking like a walk over. Alan won the seventh with Ross winning the eighth Then he caught site of Scary and his shafts went all floppy while Alan said hold my beer while I take my jacket off and proceeded to take five of the last ten holes while Ross couldn't get what he'd seen out of his mind
Strikers win 1 up
I reckon that Scary's in cahoots with the Strikers. First Dom & James lose, Dan goes M.i.a . God knows what she's done to him and then she exposes herself to Ross.
Now this nightmare is over I've left Mary tethered to a tree, she got all excited until I put a note round her neck saying free to a good home .
If you're interested , approach the same as you would Medusa.
Signing out for some peace & quiet until Scary figures out undoing the knots , hopefully it won't be before the next Cyder Cup
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Post by sid snott on Mar 19, 2022 3:17:10 GMT -5
Sure hope he takes some penicillin too! We might be calling him Paully Rotten Bollocks soon. You know what they say 'any holes a goal' even if it's an own goal |
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Post by zooby97 on Mar 19, 2022 4:04:26 GMT -5
Day 3, Match 10Randy Zubowicz vs Ken WiseRandy only arrived back from Vegas 3 minutes before his tee time. Now we don't know what happened in Vegas, maybe he got married, maybe he played the slots - or maybe had enough of a roll to hit the tables or maybe he just had to go and see his Parole Officer. Ken on the other hand used his time like a wise old owl, he checked and rechecked his course notes, made sure he had enough balls in the bag, measured the length of his tees, red ones for the driver, blues for the 3 wood and greens for the irons and just when he thought he wins by default Randy, unshaven and with breath smelling like a peppermint explosion stumbled onto the 1st tee. Sorry Mate, I overslept... The game itself was very delicately balanced as both teams are running neck and neck and the winner of the match might eventually turn out to be on the winning side when all is done. Both players played their hearts out, the score fluctuating with Randy getting ahead by one, only for Ken to reverse and go up by one again. The match turned on its head on the 17th. With the score all square and Ken having the honours he chose to hit a 3 wood off the tee. In the fading light he fished for what he thought was a blue tee, only it was green. Only a tiny bit shorter than the blue one it made just enough for a difference to send the ball 2 feet into the deep rough. The result was a bogey, not just a bogey, but the only bogey anyone of the two players would make that day. One down on par 5 18th and Ken could only watch and smile wryly when Randy drained his 2nd shot from 280 yards out for an unlikely albatross killing any chance of squaring the match. In the aftermath Randy, well, I wouldn't know if lucky day means a full 24 hours or from sunrise to sunset or perhaps luck is finite and Randy used his whole quota that moment right there on the course, but I heard he flew straight back to Vegas And Ken? He now uses yellow tees for his irons Monarchs 2 up I love it, lol |
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Post by Crazy Croc on Mar 19, 2022 4:08:04 GMT -5
Day 4
Paul Bradford vs Ken Lokosky
This game was touted as a bit of a mismatch with Kinetic Ken surely just having to pitch up and go dormie 9 by the 9th on CharlieCharlie-Hotel Paul and thus did not garner any spectators. The editor sent me being the mostest senior and bestest of all the reporters (no, as punishment for all the drivel you write - Ed) to go and cover the match. Last words Mark shouted after me as i left the office was to at least appear to be interested in the game. And that I could file my report via e-mail, no need to report back to the office. Amazing the perks senior reporters get...
Could swear I saw a catering van pull up behind the offices as just i pulled out of the parking lot. I wonder why all the other reporters' cars are parked in the basement?
Arrived late at the tee box - as usual - fortunately Paul was also delayed. Ken, ever the gentleman, stopped his stretching exercises to enquire how i was doing and denied he sees this match as a push over and that nothing is in the bag until the fat lady sings just as Paul arrived scratching his balls. You were saying something about Scary? he asked. No no, Ken said, have not seen her all day.
Scratch scratch scratch and the game teed off. To no one's surprise Ken went 1 up after the 1st. I called the wife and said I'll be home early. Paul - all scratching - hammered his tee shot 20 yards past Ken's drive on the second muttering about Scary being scary. And then he squared the match. All Paul's scratching had become quite infectious and by the time we strolled down the 5th Ken asked me to Google for a place that sells nail clippers nearby. Said he'll pay extra if it gets delivered before we tee off on the 7th but there was no internet reception. I eventually buckled under the pressure and shared my pencil with the guys. It broke on the 8th and thus I have no notes to refresh my memory.
From what I could recall Paul fought hard and pushing the result all the way to the last hole, Ken appeared to be a little more distracted by the itching and his game suffered. He did hang on though a scraped home in the end. Well played to both gentlemen.
Paul disappeared quickly after the game, saying he left something behind in his hotel room.
Strikers won 2&1
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 4:19:06 GMT -5
Ben Tough from The Daily Striker reporting from the Northern Lights. The eve of the final day of The Cyder Cup V was in full swing with the Press Gang party. Head hack Mark L IGolfBad was keeping an eye on things in a lunatic in charge of the asylum kinda way. Free bar. Free hookers. Free drugs. Mark B mbuenger was on the decks belting out his favourite Abba tracks with Ross asyoudo64 tugging at his arm begging him to get some Spice Girls on so he can teach everyone the Wannabee dance moves. Carol inflames47 is sat slumped in the corner with a half empty bottle of Voddie humming "I will be back to Massachusetts" from the Bee Gees hit. Johnny evilgrin72 is sat glued to his phone gambling away Vegas style. Marc Crazy Croc is on the Driving Simulator arcade machine furiously swearing as his Shelby leaves the track once again. Ken coggin66 is scuttling around, ever the professional, notepad in hand, getting the gossip so he can dish the dirt in future Cyder Cups. Paul M Harveydog500 is sat in the corner trying to repair his daughters mobile phone, no mean task when one of his hands is clutching tightly onto a bottle of rum. Paul B sid snott disappeared shortly after introducing us to a double bagger called Mary. We can hear screams coming from his room. Pain or passion? Art Art Vandelay kept us fed while also attending to his harem. Me? I am sitting quietly with a brown envelope of photo's and a man-size box of tissues. Mark L IGolfBad brings the evening to a close as he grabs the mic to send the crowd wild! Carol loves an adonis in shorts... It has been a privilege and an absolute pleasure to serve alongside these guys. Can't wait for the next one!! With a heavy head it was back onto the course for Day 4 Match 8 which saw a real David and Goliath battle between David Herron portred for The Monarchs and Chris Grzesik Bear for The Strikers. The Herring vs The Bear. Chris romped into a 2 shot lead over the hapless David by the 7th and it was just a matter of when not if. But. Chris being the good guy that he is felt sympathy for David and gave him the next 2 holes. All square at the 9th. It was all far too nice as the players played a game of you have one, no, you have one and they reached the 16th still tied with an upset a distinct possibility. Chris then went into Bear Beast mode and birdie/birdie finish brought the point home for the Strikers. Ashton was philosophical. "My boy really gave the Bear Man a shock there. Nearly did him" Ken was buoyant. "Never in doubt" Chris (Strikers) Wins 2 Up |
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Post by inflames47 on Mar 19, 2022 4:26:52 GMT -5
Day 3 match 6 has been declared a walkover in favor of the Strikers. Monarchs player Danny xxdannyxxo overslept his tee time and did not arrive in time for the match. Dave dave69 earns the victory with a score posted but not contested. Very disappointed to post this result but the rules are stated as such in the original post of this competition and there has been no contact from Danny or Monarchs Captain or co-captains to request an extension. That's too bad. No communication from Admins to Captain or Co Captains to ask for extension or contact from Danny that he was about to go over time allowed to play. I was most likely asleep at that time but perhaps he was confused and assumed he had until the normal Tgc deadline. Rules are rules and should be known and played accordingly . It is what it is. |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 4:34:35 GMT -5
Day 3 match 6 has been declared a walkover in favor of the Strikers. Monarchs player Danny xxdannyxxo overslept his tee time and did not arrive in time for the match. Dave dave69 earns the victory with a score posted but not contested. Very disappointed to post this result but the rules are stated as such in the original post of this competition and there has been no contact from Danny or Monarchs Captain or co-captains to request an extension. That's too bad. No communication from Admins to Captain or Co Captains to ask for extension or contact from Danny that he was about to go over time allowed to play. I was most likely asleep at that time but perhaps he was confused and assumed he had until the normal Tgc deadline. Rules are rules and should be known and played accordingly . It is what it is. I tried my best Carol and put up a reminder message tagging the 2 players that had rounds outstanding with 9 hours remaining on the clock. As I said in the pm, I know we're just a load of old buggers playing a game but we still need a bit of structure to keep things fair. |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 5:08:33 GMT -5
Day 3 UpdateYou will be pleased to know that Daniel O xxdannyxxo is all well and good and simply suffering from amnesia!! We have seen his Day 3 card and even if it had been submitted in a timely fashion the result would have been the same. A win for David S dave69 . Absolutely the correct decision was taken by Art Art Vandelay but I am thankful it will have no bearing on the final result. Ashton had this to say and should be applauded for his sense of fair play making life much easier for the Admins. "Completely agree with and accept the consequences. As the Captain, I shoulder the responsibility for my team adhering to the rules. This was the correct call in an unfortunate situation and I think we all hope that Daniel is okay. As the Captain, I am signing off that the result of that match stays as scored no matter the circumstance for the sanctity of the tournament and play moving forward. If it is an unfortunate and unavoidable situation that Daniel ran into, I'm sure we'd love for him to be able to make it up but we have to do the best we can with the information at hand and that is to stick to the rules as laid out and agreed upon at the beginning of the tournament. Again, I hope Daniel is okay. Thank you and apologies to the admin. Apologies to Ken and the Strikers." Art Vandelay Ashton Fox coggin66
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 5:17:28 GMT -5
And while we're at it, as we head towards the finishing post with the match finely balance at 18-18 I'd like to thank Art Art Vandelay personally and publicly for taking over the scoring duties both in the regular season and the Cyder Cup. I know how tough it can be especially when difficult calls are thrust upon you. He has dealt with everything the Vandelay way. Calm and collected. I can't thank him enough. Also Carol inflames47 and Sean prowse00 deserve a special mention for all the work they are taking on. I am now back to thoroughly enjoying my time here and can't wait for the next round. My only fear is being put out to pasture now that I can see I'm not really needed!  |
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Post by Art Vandelay on Mar 19, 2022 5:35:04 GMT -5
And while we're at it, as we head towards the finishing post with the match finely balance at 18-18 I'd like to thank Art Art Vandelay personally and publicly for taking over the scoring duties both in the regular season and the Cyder Cup. I know how tough it can be especially when difficult calls are thrust upon you. He has dealt with everything the Vandelay way. Calm and collected. I can't thank him enough. Also Carol inflames47 and Sean prowse00 deserve a special mention for all the work they are taking on. I am now back to thoroughly enjoying my time here and can't wait for the next round. My only fear is being put out to pasture now that I can see I'm not really needed! You are NOT getting away that easily Mr. Tough, still the glue that keeps TBC together. Now, back to the thrilling conclusion of TBCCCV! Onward! |
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Post by prowse00 on Mar 19, 2022 5:35:06 GMT -5
Don't think that you are getting off that lightly SkyBlueBen. Opening at the TBC bar for head barman coming up.... |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 19, 2022 5:37:21 GMT -5
Don't think that you are getting off that lightly SkyBlueBen . Opening at the TBC bar for head barman coming up.... Plan foiled  |
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Post by inflames47 on Mar 19, 2022 6:22:20 GMT -5
Day 4 Singles Cyder Cup Good afternoon folks, today is the last day of the Cyder Cup Singles. It’s an all or nothing day for the Red and Blue team. It is my pleasure to report Match #12 between two very accomplished players. I give you Charles Lindbergh aka Darth Vader arrives in his Deathstar and is playing for the Red team/Monarch and his caddie Kylo Ren, Son of Hans Solo who went to the dark side. Martin 'Marty McFly' Law for the Blue Team / Strikers and is accompanied by his caddy Doc Emmett Brown. Marty was a bit trepid coming into this match explaining to Doc “Last night my Dad dreamed Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told him that if I didn’t win this match, that he’d melt his brain.”. Darth showed how much the force can be with you and birdied the first 2 holes Monarch 2 up 3rd hole and looking for some caddie advice , Marty turned to Doc for help. Doc pulled out his rangefinder, did some modification and “If My Calculations Are Correct, When this this Baby Hits 88 Miles Per Hour, You're Gonna See Some Serious Sh##t. Feeling confident McFly smack his ball right on the green next to the pin for birdie putt and wins the hole putting the Monarch to 1up Holes 4-7 holes were dominated by the Dark side, as Darth dropped 3 birdies in a row and halved the 7th. Monarchs 4 up. 8th Hole: Mcfly knew he had to do something or it was back to the future even before this gets started, he hit a long drive, followed by a straight line to the pin on his 2nd shot, hit the pin high and dropped down next to the hole, Great Scott!! That was almost a Jessica Alba exclaimed Doc! Darth missed his birdie put and Strikers take 1 back Monarchs 3 up. Both parties par's the next 2 holes so no change in score. Darth, having a few words with his Caddie Kylo Ren, fired his caddie and sent him back to daddy, and decided to play Solo from here on in. 11: Hole Par 3 Vader was back on track after firing his caddie, hit a shot to the green in birdie range, while McFly’s ball landed on a downhill slope a bit too soft and still had a 2ft putt for par. Darth had no problem putting his putt in for the bird. Monarchs 4 up. Hole 12 both parties managed to par no change in score Marty makes a birdie on the 13 on a long par 4 and Monarchs are back to 3 up. This game is starting to be more of a yo-yo match. Feeling good about how this match is playing out, Darth returns the favor and birdies the 14 and we are back to Monarch 4 up with 5 to play. Doc takes Marty aside looking at his Casio CA53W calculator watch and tells him he is running out of time. Marty, hoping to make a move, can only match Darth’s par on 15 and 16 and the match is over.
Monarchs win 4 /3They all headed to the clubhouse where Darth gave his victory dance Later he saw Marty at the bar and went over to chat with him. After tossing around the day's event, Darth called him a Chicken for not dropping that putt on the 11th hole. Nobody calls me Chicken! Marty exclaimed and an all out brawl was about to start when Doc stopped Marty and said, here, put this on. ‘What’s this? 'said Marty. "A fancy golf glove with some jewels on it?" "I picked it up at a flea Market when I was on this planet Titan, by some guy called Thanos. Those are Infinity Stones and are said to be really powerful gems that when united, can be used to anything destroy and anyone in its path’’ said Doc. Marty slipped on the glove, felt its power, and turned to Doc "Why the Fu#k didn’t you give me this at the start of my bloody match!! Just as Darth and Marty were about to have a bar brawl, the cops showed up and they were carted off to jail. Both parties are waiting for their Captains, Ashton Fox Ashton Fox and Ken Wise coggin66 to bail them out. ‘Good thing the cops showed up’’, Doc said to McFly " if you connected with Darth’s jaw, you could have sent him back to the future where he belongs." I would like to thank everyone involved who worked behind the scenes and in the forefront for making this a fantastic Cyder Cup event. It has been my pleasure to be part of such a monumental event. Special thanks to SkyBlueBen Art Vandelay for all the hard work involved. Many thanks to all the reporters for their fantastic write ups. It gets no better than this! Good luck in Season 10 Cheers, Inflames |
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Post by thetaffman on Mar 19, 2022 6:23:04 GMT -5
And while we're at it, as we head towards the finishing post with the match finely balance at 18-18 I'd like to thank Art Art Vandelay personally and publicly for taking over the scoring duties both in the regular season and the Cyder Cup. I know how tough it can be especially when difficult calls are thrust upon you. He has dealt with everything the Vandelay way. Calm and collected. I can't thank him enough. Also Carol inflames47 and Sean prowse00 deserve a special mention for all the work they are taking on. I am now back to thoroughly enjoying my time here and can't wait for the next round. My only fear is being put out to pasture now that I can see I'm not really needed! You can play some xbox golf with your spare time with us 😁😁 |
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