Matt's Long, Rambling Course Naming Guide

[mattf27]

Disclaimer: I need to yell into the void for a while, so I'm just going to go for it. This post is just my personal rant on the subject, and is intended to be humorous, so none of this should be taken too seriously. Kick back, relax, and prepare for some ALL CAPS TYPING.

I review a lot of golf courses, so I've at least take a look at pretty much every database entry, and some of y'all REALLY need to work on your names. After a while, you notice some repeated themes.

First off, and I can't believe I need to say this: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP NAMING YOUR COURSES AFTER THE CORONA VIRUS. Course names should be evocative of the setting, or a major theme in your work. The last thing you want to do is associate your course with the greatest pandemic in the last 100 years. There's a reason you don't see "Chlamydia Manor" in the course database. Bad imagery, bro.

Second: Your course name is a proper title. Capitalize your important words! You've spent 50+ hours on your course, and you're unable to put the extra work into hitting the shift key? Seeing a course name in all lower case is like the digital version of a face tattoo, it just sends out all sorts of red flags straight from the word go. Also, use complete words in your course description! And spell them correctly! You're asking the reviewer to spend time playing and looking over your course, so you can at least take 8 seconds to proofread.

Third: Your course names don't need to all be hugely original, that's fine. But please, make the indicative of SOMETHING. Horribly bland, or descriptive names do not paint your course in a good light. I recently reviewed one entitled "swiss course" and I could probably tell you with 95% certainty that the reviewer would be rejecting that course without even opening the entry, let alone the course. 

Now, for some miscellaneous examples I have overly strong opinions about:

"TPC Royal Golfclub" - So, "TPC" and "Royal" are both prefixes for a course name. "Golf Club" is a suffix for a course name. THERE'S NO ACTUAL COURSE NAME IN HERE. Also, the full name of this course would be "The Players Club Royal Golf Club," which is like calling a college the "College of University College."

"Virginity River" - There's nothing specifically wrong with this name, outside of it sounding like a resort getaway for sex perverts.

"Hill Club" - Again, nothing terribly wrong with this one, but it's like a beige car with a beige interior and beige accents.

"The Mantis" - THIS NAME IS TERRIBLE, I'm just kidding. It's a little odd, but I like it. Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention, Eric.

[reebdoog]

who died and made you "C.E.O Executive Chief President Officer President"?

[Terry Grayson]

So with that said I’m guessing when I decided to name my CC contest

the course at the club of the royal tpc at the ocean course southwest eastern WONT FLY?

[15eicheltower9]

Apr 14, 2020 20:05:59 GMT -5 Terry Grayson said:

So with that said I’m guessing when I decided to name my CC contest

the course at the club of the royal tpc at the ocean course southwest eastern WONT FLY?

Damn character limits

[15eicheltower9]

And Virginity Island sounds like a slang name for Islamic Heaven

[OldSouled]

My biggest pet peeve is the capitalization issue. As you said, I can’t wrap my head around spending over 50 hours on something and then being so careless with the title that everyone will see right up front.

[Oscar C]

laladiesman

[ErixonStone]

My favorites are the ones like "Hill Valley" and "Maple Pines".

Yes, valleys are found among hills. No, a Maple tree is not a kind of Pine tree.

[linkslover]

Apr 15, 2020 1:06:27 GMT -5 ErixonStone said:

My favorites are the ones like "Hill Valley" and "Maple Pines".

Yes, valleys are found among hills. No, a Maple tree is not a kind of Pine tree.

There is a real course call Hill Valley near Whitchurch in England.

These days it is owned and run by MacDonald Hotels but used to be it's own private entity.

www.macdonaldhotels.co.uk/our-hotels/north-england/shropshire/macdonald-hill-valley-hotel-golf-spa

[Royce]

'**************** '19 pins' really irks me. Thanks hb_shauna.

[lessthanbread]

My favorite was "The Swamp at Thigh Gap"

[mattf27]

There was an older one I found amusing called something like "Forest Mountain Lake." Then tried to think of what the most amusing combination of three geological features would be. Hope to see "Desert River Archipelago" in the submission queue sometime.

[reebdoog]

TPC Fjord Promontory Aquifer GC incoming

[mayday_golf83]

"The Greens at Canyon Barranca Ravine" 

Has a nice ring to it, no?

[15eicheltower9]

Apr 15, 2020 12:43:14 GMT -5 mayday_golf83 said:

"The Greens at @ Canyon Barranca Ravine" 

Has a nice ring to it, no?

Fixed it for you