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Post by inflames47 on Jan 23, 2024 9:10:13 GMT -5
Welcome to Cyder Cup's first match up on Day one. Presenting asyoudo64 Ross 'Tazzi' Martin and Jason 'I'm here to crush your dreams' Dowey crushtastic for the Mercury Messengers and Charles Lindbergh aka deathstar and “I went to school to master drugs, not my golf game.” Mark Lawrence IGolfBad for the Asphall Assassins The day started with the meet and greet the opponents prior to their match for the day. They spent most of their time talking about making new rules about having 'furries' joining TBC after Blame it on the Goose and Capt. Cobrachicken took the season's win, with Bear Necessities right behind them ( not literally folks!). Ross and Jason who played brilliant all season came out to play today. Charlie and Mark could only give it their best shot and after downing a few tequila's The match began with the Mercury Messengers taking no prisoners. They completely dominated the first nine and continued on through the entire match, Mark and Charlie scores were brilliant but when it came down to it they barely could manager to halve a hole. They managed to get a win on the 14th but by this time their dreams of a big win was crushed completely. It was just and exceptional match up for Mercury Messenger boys This was total Coyote Ugly folks as the Tasmanian Devil and his bone Crusher buddy tore up the course. This was over before it even started. Mercury Messengers win 8&7 With their heads held up high Mark and Charlie congratulated the winning team offered them a congratulatory drink from Marks secret stash 'Let's blow this popcorn stand before they realizes I mixed laxatives with the Celebratory drink and the '§hits about to hit the fan'
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Post by asyoudo64 on Jan 23, 2024 15:21:27 GMT -5
Welcome to Cyder Cup's first match up on Day one. Presenting asyoudo64 Ross 'Tazzi' Martin and Jason 'I'm here to crush your dreams' Dowey crushtastic for the Mercury Messengers and Charles Lindbergh aka deathstar and “I went to school to master drugs, not my golf game.” Mark Lawrence IGolfBad for the Asphall Assassins The day started with the meet and greet the opponents prior to their match for the day. They spent most of their time talking about making new rules about having 'furries' joining TBC after Blame it on the Goose and Capt. Cobrachicken took the season's win, with Bear Necessities right behind them ( not literally folks!). Ross and Jason who played brilliant all season came out to play today. Charlie and Mark could only give it their best shot and after downing a few tequila's The match began with the Mercury Messengers taking no prisoners. They completely dominated the first nine and continued on through the entire match, Mark and Charlie scores were brilliant but when it came down to it they barely could manager to halve a hole. They managed to get a win on the 14th but by this time their dreams of a big win was crushed completely. It was just and exceptional match up for Mercury Messenger boys This was total Coyote Ugly folks as the Tasmanian Devil and his bone Crusher buddy tore up the course. This was over before it even started. Mercury Messengers win 8&7 With their heads held up high Mark and Charlie congratulated the winning team offered them a congratulatory drink from Marks secret stash 'Let's blow this popcorn stand before they realizes I mixed laxatives with the Celebratory drink and the '§hits about to hit the fan' Awesome Carol ☺️ 👌 👏
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Post by asyoudo64 on Jan 23, 2024 15:32:55 GMT -5
Come on Messengers, let's send those Assassins a...er....message. Get on your bikes and ride! We've got this team 💪
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Post by prowse00 on Jan 23, 2024 16:55:37 GMT -5
Come on Messengers, let's send those Assassins a...er....message. Get on your bikes and ride! We've got this team 💪 Would just like to remind you guys which team is out in front (at the time of writing)
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Post by asyoudo64 on Jan 23, 2024 17:03:28 GMT -5
Would just like to remind you guys which team is out in front (at the time of writing) 🤔 By the way, apologies for my lack of activity on this thread. For some reason, unless I'm tagged, I'm not receiving new notifications 😕. I'm here now Sean......
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Post by mbuenger on Jan 23, 2024 22:05:52 GMT -5
(Press Pool Headquarters - Mark Lawrence’s office) Jim Nantz Enters Mark Lawrence: Jim! What’s up? How is our favorite broadcaster? Jim Nantz: Fine Mark! A little tired from the weekly highlights show but ready to get on with the Cyder Cup. I know last year went a little sideways… ML: Jim, I’m gonna stop you right there… JN: Uh oh ML: Jim, last year got a bit out of hand. We’re going to have to take back creative control of the broadcast. A “broadcast about nothing”, what could’ve possibly made you think it was a good idea? JN (mutters): Well, you did sign off on it so it must’ve made sense… ML: What was that? JN: Nothing, nothing at all. I was just saying the admin team was agreeable to the idea is all ML: Yeah but you didn’t talk about any golf at all! We’re running a golf broadcast here, there should be golf! You yada yada’d the golf! JN: As I said last year, I mentioned the scores. Look, I can’t help the fact that four people stood around on the tee box talking about life while they continually got passed over for their tee time. I found that very entertaining. And Snow White… ML: Yeah about that Jim JN: Mark, even you have to admit the song was great. A throwback to simpler times ML: Jim, she sang about her prince cumming JN: She got off to a rough start but even you have to admit, she nailed that song from Frozen ML: Yeah she did well but we can’t have any of that risk again. We had a lot to answer for last year with the sponsors JN: So what’s the plan for this year? Want me to go back to having a simple cohost and actually discussing the round? ML: I mean, that is the show JN: OK, just clear one thing up for me, why does Ken Wise coggin66 have free rein to be as creative as he wants to be while my creativity is continually scoffed at? Did you see what he’s done this year so far?! ML: Yeah, story time in the 2k classroom. It was fantastic! JN: Yeah it was! I could do something just as good if you’d let me. Tell the story of how Ken himself and fellow Assassin Tony runkibus fell behind early before storming back to take the lead on Messengers Les lessangster and Paul thetaffman before collapsing down the stretch to lose by 2? It could’ve been epic, but you hold me back! ML: What’s so wrong with just doing a broadcast? JN: What do the ratings say Mark? Last year was our most popular year yet wasn’t it? ML: Yes JN: So what’s the big deal if my broadcast gets a little off topic? The people love it! ML: Yeah, Jim, we’re gonna just stick with the broadcast idea. Please report to the desk for your assigned match tomorrow. JN: You know what?! ML: What Jim? JN: I quit!
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Post by Wutpa on Jan 24, 2024 2:08:28 GMT -5
(Edited merely for the sake of everyone's scrolling appendages)At any rate, this one was a back and forth affair until holes 3 and 4 when Carol, distracted by Marcus' lukewarm cup of Tim Horton's Tea, a favorite of Britadians, missed easy birdie putts, giving the Marcks a 2 hole lead. But Nigel sabotaged the next hole by putting a pink packet of artificial sweetener into Nigel's tea, and distracted Bing, who was hoping it was actually cocaine. The gambit worked as the Messengers pulled to within 1. I think I see the problem here. Apparently I sabotaged myself (not unusually), or a clone of myself. And even with two of me partnering Carol we still couldn't bring home the win.
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cobrachicken
Amateur Golfer
Posts: 188
TGCT Name: Marcus Clowers
Tour: Kinetic
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Post by cobrachicken on Jan 24, 2024 11:03:00 GMT -5
Recordings on a Talkboy cassette tape by an angry and mildly drunken Goose: Do I have to go back out and cover another match? But Mark, I’m supposed to meet a snow bunny at the ski lodge bar! Fine, fine, I’ll do it… *Sounds of angry walking and scuffling*Dumb reporting all the time. Stupid not having time to enjoy myself. I reported for a whole four hours and now I have to go back out to cover Ben ( SkyBlueBen ) and CF ( CGib2 ) vs. Leon ( Loftyando ) and Ken ( jg24kl )… You know what! I’m going to the bar and just watch the match on ESPN the Ocho! What a genius! Gonna get the girl and cover the game at the same time. sh%$… is this thing still on!?!? I have to remember to start hitting the stop button… *Recording Paused*(Bartender Voice) Sir, it’s been 3 hours, I’m not sure she is going to arrive. No, she will be here and the boys are only on hole…. Crap, it’s over after 14 holes? What happened? I wasn’t staring at the door for that long! (Bartender Voice) Buddy, the Assassins took the early lead winning holes 3,4,5, and 6. They were 5up at the turn and never looked back. The Freddie’s managed to win 2 holes but it was a wrap 5&4 for the Assboys. Now please close your tab and call an Uber! NO, SHE’S COMING! TRUST ME, YOU CAN’T JUST MAKE ME LEAVE, I REFUSE! (Bartender Voice) Boys, need some help with an escort over here. NO, DON’T TOUCH ME, SHE WILL BE HERE! SHE WILL BE HEREEEEEEEeeeeeeee (trailing off in the distance)(Bartender Voice) He dropped his recorder, can someone make sure that bum gets this back? *End of Recording*
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Post by trevormendez on Jan 24, 2024 14:58:53 GMT -5
Apologies everyone.
It appears I've missed quite a lot of important information about cut-offs.
I didn't even know this thread existed until about 2 minutes ago.
I can only apologise for cocking up so spectacularly in such an important week.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Jan 24, 2024 15:03:42 GMT -5
Apologies everyone. It appears I've missed quite a lot of important information about cut-offs. I didn't even know this thread existed until about 2 minutes ago. I can only apologise for cocking up so spectacularly in such an important week. All is forgiven if you get your scores PM'd to me asap. Include a case of Guinness makes it even better.
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Post by Wutpa on Jan 24, 2024 15:38:10 GMT -5
Apologies everyone. It appears I've missed quite a lot of important information about cut-offs. I didn't even know this thread existed until about 2 minutes ago. I can only apologise for cocking up so spectacularly in such an important week. All is forgiven if you get your scores PM'd to me asap. Include a case of Guinness makes it even better. Guinness for everyone!
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Post by trevormendez on Jan 24, 2024 16:12:03 GMT -5
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Post by Art Vandelay on Jan 24, 2024 16:17:07 GMT -5
Match 5 on day one, between Messengers Trevor trevormendez and Randy RHMIII and Assassins Paul Harveydog500 and Danny xxdannyxxo , was delayed because the bar was locked from the inside with all four golfers inside. When the only person with a master key, Mike katana22 finally unlocked the door our four combatants spilled out and onto the tee. None of them could stand, and there was a distinct smell of vomit and piss. The golf was spectacularly bad, although the cards reflected another story. Rather than have the cards verified (which would have required all four golfers to stand) we took their word for it. Assassins win 3 & 2.
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Post by Art Vandelay on Jan 24, 2024 16:21:24 GMT -5
Standings at the end of Day One:
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Jan 24, 2024 16:26:50 GMT -5
Day 1 - Match 5Well can only apologise for the lateness of this Day 1 match. Dropped into the Press Office and it was deserted. Realised they'd snuck off to their usual haunt.... Looked everywhere for the notes on this match... Finally found it in the Press Gang's filing system.... Dug out a crumpled bit of paper with some rough notes on. Trev and Randy against Harvey and Danny Boy. All played good. Blue lot wun. Must be time for a beer....ahhh bugger it. It'll do tomorrow. File it.Assassins win 3 & 2
I'll shall be having serious words.
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