Vancouver Classic@Driftless Glen

[hmammoth]

This week on Kinetic we are at Driftless Glen by sroel908. Steve is a ranger here at tgctours, for those of you that don’t know, rangers are the unpaid interns of tgctours, they work long hours testing the courses that you see here on tour, they do not get paid, they have to pay their own expenses, such as travel costs, equipment and so on. They do this in the hope that one day there will get to join the staff at tgctours, this never happens of course, we just use them until they burn out, then get in more. Rangers have no say on what goes on tour, they report back to use schedulers if they find any issues, they make suggestions and of course we blame them if anything goes wrong but, in the end, they have no say on what goes on tour, except for Steve. He has been a ranger for so long now that somehow, he has evolved into some sort of Uber-Ranger, he writes these really long detailed posts about each course, something I personally don’t understand, I mean why say something in 100 words that can be said in 10, I mean, can you imagine if I was like that, writing these long post talking about the week ahead instead of these short and concise intros, wasting time, energy and words on something that maybe a handful of people will read, sitting in front of a computer just typing out words when I could be doing something else, it would be madness, people would say, that mammoth fella, he is just mad, each to their own I guess. Anyway, where was I, ah the Uber-Ranger, somehow, he has developed some sort of mind control abilities, that if he says, I do no approve this course using these conditions, us schedulers are unable to resist, we have to change things or not use the course at all. We have tried all sort of things to get him to stop, bribery, blackmail, threats of violence but he just says," do no insult my integrity, I am here to benefit the fine players of tgctours, to make sure they get to play good and fair courses, I shall never leave them down". That pretty much says it all about Steve, caring about the players and that is why he will never be a scheduler, caring about the players, what nonsense.


I am beginning to suspect though that his powers have grown beyond just stopping us using red slopes on pins or 8000-yard courses in very high winds because I have noticed something that has got to be some sort of mind control. Once after a nights drinking, I woke up naked in the sandpit of a kids playground, then this other time after a nights drinking, I woke up naked in the lift of a expensive hotel in a different city to the one I started drinking in, then this one time, after a nights drinking, I woke up naked in a dogs kennel at a animal shelter, and who can forget them time after a nights drinking when I woke up in a big horizontal filing cabinet in the office of Mr Scott Doyle or this one time, after a nights drinking, I woke up naked in a city side street to the sight of some strange guy taking a piss on me, he then gave me 1000 euro which was a bit weird. Anyway, the point I am trying to get across is these and other can not all be coincidences, that every time I go drinking I wake up somewhere naked, there has got to be something making this happen, one common denominator to all these incidents and the only thing I can come up with is mind control, and the only person I know with mind control powers is Steve. So I thought to myself, how do I stop this and came up with using one of his courses on tour, that way he would end up in some sort of eternal ranger loop, finding faults with his course but not wanting to tell these faults that could result in the course not being used, he would be in limbo and I could go drinking again, I am so smart.


Before I go, I better welcome the new players that have joined from the promo event this week, welcome to the kinetic, according to some people the worst scheduled tour on tgctours. So, enjoy your time here if you can. Good luck and have fun this week, if putting is your weakness, it might not have been the best week to join.

[Pen Knight]

Tough Course.
I practiced the High Wind Conditions about ten times and could never really score well.
Went into round one this morning with the medium wind and shot 10 under par.
One Bogie and No Eagles.
Pretty Good for me.
Just need to at least make the cut.
Earning one green ball would be a big bonus and move me back up to Elite where all the cool kids play.

[hmammoth]

Jul 9, 2023 8:32:46 GMT -5 Pen Knight said:

Tough Course.
I practiced the High Wind Conditions about ten times and could never really score well.
Went into round one this morning with the medium wind and shot 10 under par.
One Bogie and No Eagles.
Pretty Good for me.
Just need to at least make the cut.
Earning one green ball would be a big bonus and move me back up to Elite where all the cool kids play.

The high wind round not until round 4, a couple more rounds to build up your score before you tackle that, good luck.

[Pen Knight]

Played a couple rounds and wasn't feeling it.
Jumped in over at the Bees Knees and shot 11 under.
The swing was feeling pretty good so jumped into Kinetic Round Two.
I struggle on these corn field courses.
Tight Fairways and Punishing Rough.
I was seesawing back and forth with birdie and par.
Botched two of the par 5s for par.
Started to get a little momentum starting with hole 12 from a difficult fringe uphill putt that went in.
On 16 I had a 27-footer and some massive, ridiculous left to right break.
Hit and Pray went in the hole... stupid.
Never should of went in.
On the next hole I shanked it but the ball bounced off the fringe and roller-coastered to the hole leaving a somewhat easy downhill 6 foot putt.
Served me right lipping out since I just had two lucky breaks.
Shanked the approach shot on 18 and had to settle for birdie.
19 under at the turn.
I might just make the cut.
Should be safe from losing a green ball which is the real mission.
GL and HF out there!

[Pen Knight]

Shot 11 under in practice so went into the third round.
Struggled on the front nine and finished with an 8 under.
Raged into round four with an 11 under par.
Finished 38 under.
Try to get that last green ball next week unless some miracle happens.