|
|
Post by SkyBlueBen on Aug 9, 2022 7:07:16 GMT -5
SkyBlueBen Good too see you kicking off with a balanced, unbiassed report. I approve. Monarchs were lucky…. A magnificent rally by the Boys in Blue….. Our Heroes in Blue…. An undeserved victory for the Monarchs……….I am surprised you didn’t call us a bunch of drab-colored moths…. Ben, I loved it! Lol…. Great reporting and keep it up! Never praise the opposition. They don’t deserve it 😉 |
|
|
|
Post by Art Vandelay on Aug 9, 2022 7:50:53 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by inflames47 on Aug 9, 2022 9:11:28 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 6 Lindbergh/van Niekerk vs Buengar/Gibson Edit to insert scorecard from Match  |
|
|
|
Post by asyoudo64 on Aug 9, 2022 9:12:20 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 4 Sangster/Fox Vs Taylor/Brantford Ross the reporter for the Mercury in Hobart, Tasmania delighted to be assigned this match. I'm currently on a special assignment in FNQ (Far North Queensland for all non-Aussies).  Unlike Ben I didn't inform Mark L, the Chief of the bunch of wordsmiths loosely called the Press Corp, needless to say he was not impressed. When I promised to still punch out 4 high standard reports for Cyder Cup VI, he gave me his blessing 😢 Anyway back to the game. The Monarchs had their A Team in for this match up. With Captain Fox and the wily veteran Les ready to take out the less experienced well known American television and film director Alan Taylor and back in the Strikers again, Tim "the Toolman" Brantford. The Strikers took out the first hole. The next 2 holes were halved. The fourth hole was taken out by the Strikers as well and the Monarchs were down 2 early. Ashton looked frustrated and asked Les to draw on his knowledge of course design to help them plot their way out of their poor start.  Les obviously got his numbers worked out as the Monarchs won 2 out of the next 5 holes and the match was all square going into the back 9. What happened next had to be seen to be believed. Alan T got a call from some Hollywood executives saying they had a new show for him. Bigger than the Sopranos they promised. He was so excited he managed to drop his Xbox controller from his directors chair. It didn't break but the damage must have been internal as the Monarchs went on a scoring spree winning the next 5 holes and won the match 5 and 4. Finally Tim "the Toolman" fixed Alan's controller and the Strikers won three of the last 4 holes. Too little too late. A great performance by Captain and Tennille from the Monarchs. They were seen strolling off into the sunset doing their version of the Monarchs Red victory dance.  Monarchs win 5 and 4 |
|
|
|
Post by asyoudo64 on Aug 9, 2022 9:21:46 GMT -5
Absolutely loved this Carol. Not the result though 😉. Brilliant report.  |
|
|
|
Post by IGolfBad on Aug 9, 2022 10:35:15 GMT -5
Brilliant work, Carol. The remainder of the Press Pool lays down in abject resignation.  |
|
|
|
Post by zooby97 on Aug 9, 2022 12:32:16 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by SkyBlueBen on Aug 9, 2022 14:21:39 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 2 Santapaula/Kokkonen vs Lokosky/WiseDouble detention on Day 1 for this hapless scribe as Mark L IGolfBad gets his pound of flesh for my audacity to book a holiday in Cyder Cup week. Quick dash down after breakfast, follow the match, knock up the report, then I'm outta here!! Obviously after the obligatory trip to the Press Corps free bar provided by the Head Honcho. Cheers Marky Mark, the second most generous person on TGCT. OFFICIAL. Only time sadly that our great friend will be anywhere near the top of a leaderboard, Money talks. So I scanned the 1st tee to see who I got. Result!! Beauty inflames47 and the Beast Palo for the Monarchs taking on the most famous Ken's since Barbie made the name Ken famous. This was certainly the Strikers top pairing of players named Ken, I give you Ken the Wise coggin66 and Ken the Loco jg24kl So could the Strikers lead man and flag bearer together with his trusty sidekick tame the Beast and charm the Beauty? Early on it was nip and tuck before a sudden surge by the Monarchs saw them reach half time rather fortunate to be 3 up as Ken squared played the perfect gentleman and opened all the doors for Carol and went easy on the obviously lacking in confidence Palo. The back nine was a tight affair with our illustrious Blue warriors giving a scintillating display of showboating pixel golf while Beauty and the Beast hung on desperately. But alas, it wasn't to be. The brawn of the Beast finally overcame the crowd favourites in blue on the 16th for a lucky win against the run of play while Carol did a little victory dance and collapsed into a drunken heap which was later explained by the removal of the head covers of her woods revealing 4 bottles of vodka.  So Marky Mark, that's me off on my holidays. Thanks for being the best boss. Off up to Cov to celebrate the wedding of my son to a girl who's felt like part of the family since the day we met her. The boy done good. Can't wait to catch up with friends and family many of whom I've not seen since the original lockdown, I shall be keeping an eye on proceedings and waiting for the blue ribbons to be tied on the trophy. Go Strikers. Monarchs can suck balls. Onward!!! Oh, and.... Monarchs win 4 & 3
|
|
|
|
Post by lessangster on Aug 9, 2022 14:39:03 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 2 Santapaula/Kokkonen vs Lokosky/WiseDouble detention on Day 1 for this hapless scribe as Mark L IGolfBad gets his pound of flesh for my audacity to book a holiday in Cyder Cup week. Quick dash down after breakfast, follow the match, knock up the report, then I'm outta here!! Obviously after the obligatory trip to the Press Corps free bar provided by the Head Honcho. Cheers Marky Mark, the second most generous person on TGCT. OFFICIAL. Only time sadly that our great friend will be anywhere near the top of a leaderboard, Money talks. So I scanned the 1st tee to see who I got. Result!! Beauty inflames47 and the Beast Palo for the Monarchs taking on the most famous Ken's since Barbie made the name Ken famous. This was certainly the Strikers top pairing of players named Ken, I give you Ken the Wise coggin66 and Ken the Loco jg24kl So could the Strikers lead man and flag bearer together with his trusty sidekick tame the Beast and charm the Beauty? Early on it was nip and tuck before a sudden surge by the Monarchs saw them reach half time rather fortunate to be 3 up as Ken squared played the perfect gentleman and opened all the doors for Carol and went easy on the obviously lacking in confidence Palo. The back nine was a tight affair with our illustrious Blue warriors giving a scintillating display of showboating pixel golf while Beauty and the Beast hung on desperately. But alas, it wasn't to be. The brawn of the Beast finally overcame the crowd favourites in blue on the 16th for a lucky win against the run of play while Carol did a little victory dance and collapsed into a drunken heap which was later explained by the removal of the head covers of her woods revealing 4 bottles of vodka. So Marky Mark, that's me off on my holidays. Thanks for being the best boss. Off up to Cov to celebrate the wedding of my son to a girl who's felt like part of the family since the day we met her. The boy done good. Can't wait to catch up with friends and family many of whom I've not seen since the original lockdown, I shall be keeping an eye on proceedings and waiting for the blue ribbons to be tied on the trophy. Go Strikers. Monarchs can suck balls. Onward!!! Oh, and.... Monarchs win 4 & 3 Have a great time Ben we won’t be thinking of you 🍻cheers 😂😜 |
|
|
|
Post by IGolfBad on Aug 9, 2022 22:27:09 GMT -5
Cyder Cup Day 1 Match 7: Paul Bradford/Dominique Bois (Monarchs) vs Mark Murray/Ben Tough (Strikers)
Early on in competition, as most of the participants have slept through their wake-up calls at our sponsor hotel, Fancy Sweets by Vandelay Industries. Turns out Art cut the power to save a few coins, and none of the prearranged calls went through. Fortunately, jet lag has struck all 4 of these intrepid fellas, even though Paul and Ben hail from the very land mass that houses this week's course. Dom had to cross the English Channel to score some English Chanel, and Mark is somehow playing under the flag of the Rising Sun, sporting all the way from Japan.
Somehow.
At any rate, we were able to scrape together a foursome and get some golf played. However, in light of the spotty power supply, run by Belfry Batteries by Vandelay Industries, the record of proceedings is spotty at best, and the only audio we were able to capture was that of Mr. Bradford trying cover for his lack of golf skill by sharing "little known facts", and Dom frequently cursing in his native French, so our apologies in advance, sponsored by Vandelay Industries ("You'd Better Hope You're Not Allergic to Latex")
The Blue Wise Men held court on the opener, showing matching birdies to the Scarlet Lepidopterists' pars, giving the Strikers the early lead. En route to the second tee, Paul could be heard uttering, "you know, speaking of birds, it's a little known fact the Bassian thrush releases gas to scare worms out of hiding". Through the hiss of the audio we hear Dom mutter "Sacre bleu", though nobody knows what he means.
Quickly righting the ship, the Monarchs take the next two on the "strength" of Ben's lone bogey on #2, and Paul somehow managing an eagle on the par 5 #3.
Somehow.
"You know, fellas, it's a little known fact that the reason the Eagles didn't take the Ring to Mordor was one does not simply fly into Mordor."
Dom: "Merde sacreé"
Up by a stroke, Dom felt it necessary to take Paul into a stand of trees and gently "remind" him they were here to play golf and do all they could to bring dignity back to the Monarchs, a task he new to likely be impossible, as the words "dignity" and "Monarchs" are as far apart as "millenials" and "good taste in music".
"You know, Dom, it's a little know fact that Bearded Vultures are the only birds to dye their plumage on purpose."
Dom: "Fermez votre trou à tarte"
[7 minutes of silence from Paul]
While Paul took a badly needed nap, courtesy of his partner, Ben and Mark took the next 4 holes in a clean walk over, as Paul and Dom couldn't manage a single birdie, and the Strikers took a 3 stroke lead through 7 holes. Paul finally woke in time to card his second avian of the round, #8's lone bird, to bring the Striker lead back down to 2.
"You know, guys, it's a little known fact that pigeons can recognize human faces!"
Dom: "Est-ce que tu tais-toi jamais?"
The teams halve #9 to keep the Strikers up 3 at the turn. Luck favored the Migrators on #10 as this time Mr. Murray failed to turn a bird, and the Monarchs found themselves down 2 with plenty of golf ahead of them. But on #12, the Strikers out-birdied the Monarchs, both of whom could only card pars, and time was running short. Paul dug deep to try to throw the Men in Blue off their rhythm.
"You know, gents, it's a little known fact that birds are actually government issued drones!", with a withering grin.
Dom, seeing the writing on the wall, slipped his club bag from his shoulder, loudly dropped them to the ground and walked away. "Vous êtes tous clowns", were his last words before shuffling back to the bar.
Accepting his fate, Paul congratulated his opponents and said, "you know, guys, it's a little known fact that it takes nearly two days for a human to discharge a Lego through their body".
Off in the distance, an eagle cried, "Ce n'est pas vrai, Paul!"
Somehow.
Strikers over Monarchs 4 and 2
|
|
|
|
Post by Doume6307 on Aug 10, 2022 2:46:25 GMT -5
Hi,
Nice report Mark. It's undisputed truth that "dignity" is a word out of my vocabulary !
Congrats to our triumphant Strikers. Paul, we did our best, and that's not understatement.
Some words to improve the French culture of this fine assembly :
Scarebleu (as a single word) is one of the many expressions which use "bleu(blue)" instead of "dieu(god)" so not to blaspheme
"Merde sacrée" as a literal translation of "holly sh%$" is rarely used around here. Most of the time you can hear "putain de merde( shitty whore or whory sh%$ as you like). This last one I use and abuse (apologises...)
"Fermez votre trou à tarte" is more reminiscent of French Canadian I suppose. I'd rather use "Ferme ton claquemerde" a delicious slang expression for "shut your shitty mouth" (why is it all about sh%$?)
"Est-ce que tu tais-toi jamais?" : I think I should say instead "Tu la ferme jamais, ta grande gueule?" which can be elegantly simplified to a short "Ta gueule ! "
"Ce n'est pas vrai, Paul!" : hmm, this distant eagle is kind of posh, a more vulgar one would simply say "C'est pas vrai", but I must admit that eagles haunting golf courses are often excessively posh.
|
|
|
|
Post by coggin66 on Aug 10, 2022 3:57:16 GMT -5
Day 1 - Pairs - Total Score Matchplay
Jason Hansford & David Herron vs Mark Lawrence & Art Vandelay
Disclaimers:
Any resemblance to reality is probably purely coincidental.
No psychotropic substances were consumed in the making of this report.
RED VS BLUE - THE MISCONCEPTION
Prologue
Previously on Cyder Cup V…
KenW: Use that magic of yours to give us a decent light show
MarkM: OK. “Aurora Borealis”
[The night sky is bathed in blue and red waves of light. Everyone watches in awe … until an enormous bright white, skull-like apparition appears in the sky and talks in a deep, booming voice …]
Apparition: ENJOY YOUR FUN. YOU ALL THINK THIS IS A GAME. BUT YOU ARE WRONG. THIS IS A GAME WITHIN A GAME WITHIN A GAME. THE OUTSIDE IS WATCHING YOU ALL
[The apparition vanishes leaving the blue and red light show]
The Brew Crew in unison: What the fcuk was that about?
[Fade to Black]
Chapter 1
[Press Pool Offices]
Mark Lawrence sits in his big executive chair in the Press Pool offices before the start of the Cyder Cup.
[MarkL] Ken, get in my office now.
I enter with some trepidation and sit on the little chair opposite him.
[MarkL] What the hell was that big skull thing in the sky at the end of the last Cyder Cup?
[KenW] No idea, boss. I’m still trying to figure it out, but I reckon it was Mark Murray using his magic to play tricks on us.
[ML] OK. Keep looking into it. Now, I want something longer than your opening report at the last Cyder Cup.
[KW] No problem, boss. I’ve got an idea developing. I hear that Dickens Cyder have chosen a different MC again for this Cyder Cup.
[ML] We do. Elsa was great last time, but we are at The Belfry this time. There was only one choice. We had to get Esmeralda.
[KW] From The Hunchback of Notre Dame?
[ML] Yes. Our new byline for her is “When she is in The Belfry, she always wants some Dickens Cyder.”
[KW] That’ll make Les happy then.
Chapter 2
[The Outside]
[Mindy] Grandma, is Grandad playing in the Cyder Cup today against Dad?
[Grandma] Yes, Mindy. It’s Cyder Cup Sunday. It's on holo all day.
[Mork] Nana, Nana, can Billy from next door watch it with me & Mindy today?
[Grandma] Yes Mork, he can.
[Billy] Thank you Mrs GolfBad. I don't really know what is going on though.
[Mrs G] You've heard of IRL, the life simulator?
[Billy] Of course. Almost everyone in the Outside plays IRL now. It's been running for over a century.
[Mrs G] Well, about every three years, the losing side from last time picks something from IRL to determine who will run the Outside.
[Mindy] The Red team lost World War II to the Blue team last time.
[Mrs G] That’s right, Mindy. So this time the Red team chose to play the Cyder Cup series in a game within IRL, called PGA 2K21 or TGC.
[Billy] Wow, that's a bit out there!
[Mork] And, get this, both our grandad and my dad are playing in the Cyder Cup. Cool or what!
[Billy] Really? Is that true Mrs GolfBad?
[Mrs G] It is, Billy. My husband, Indiana Jones GolfBad, is playing for the Blue team. His current IRL character is called Mark Lawrence. His character is a pharmacist and part-time writer. He has developed high stats for Intelligence and Charisma, but he has low Dexterity so he isn't very good at TGC, even after being influenced to play on PS4 to increase his Luck attributes.
[Mindy] But this time my Dad is on the Red team.
[Mrs G] That’s right, Mindy. Indiana is not happy about that because when my son-in-law, Captain Hook, played two weeks ago in Cyder Cup IV, he was on the Blue team.
[Billy] Captain Hook?
[Mrs G] He's better known in Red vs Blue as JHandz. His IRL character is Jason Hansford and he's a corporal in the US Marines. His character also plays on PS4 but he has a much better Dexterity score than his father-in-law.
[Mork] And today they have to play each other in the first Round.
[Mrs G] Yes. Indiana is paired with his best friend, King Arthur of Vandelay, for the Blue team. JHandz is paired with fellow pirate Captain Redbeard, or as he's better known for Red vs Blue, Portred.
[Mindy] It's nearly 10 o'clock. I think the broadcast is about to start.
[Mrs G turns on the Holo]
[Holo Commentator]
M-m-my name is Max Headroom, your host. Welcome to the Red vs Blue Cyder Cup VI.
Last Sunday, the teams drew for a second consecutive week so the Blue team kept the IRL trophy but the Red team still leads 3-2 in the Cyder Cup Red vs Blue series.
Today we will be live casting throughout the day for all four rounds. All nine matches for each IRL-TGC day will be multi-channel broadcast so you can choose which match to watch and at what level. We have every angle covered from the “Interface Device Arena” here in the Outside; to the IRL view; right down to the TGC level. We broadcast at Outside speed but at any time you can slow the action down to IRL or TGC speed to get real close to the action.
Let's look at today's running order:
10am - Day 1
12pm - Day 2
2pm - Day 3
4pm - Day 4
Joining me for the next couple of hours for the Day 1 broadcasts is my guest, Cortana. Hey Cortana, welcome to the broadcast.
[Cortana] Cortana here! Thanks Max.
[Max] Most viewers have experienced IRL, but please explain to everyone how this works.
[Cortana] Just like anyone who plays an IRL character, the players use the Interface Device to control and influence their character’s thoughts, and in turn their actions. Like all players, our Red vs Blue players have developed their characters from IRL birth and allocated various attribute points throughout their IRL lives. The main difference here is that our Red vs Blue players play from our ID Arena so we can tap into their feeds to show you how they are controlling their characters’ decisions.
[Max] That’s right Cortana. The IRL characters think they are acting of their own free will and have no idea they are being influenced by the Interface Device controlled by the Outside players.
[Cortana] There was an incident at the end of last week’s Cyder Cup where an apparition tried to make the IRL characters aware of the Outside. Have we had an official explanation for this?
[Max] So far we have only been told that it is still being investigated. Before the Day 1 matches begin, do you have any comments to make on the changes to the teams.
[Cortana] Both sides have lost a few players and this Cyder Cup is between two teams of 18 players. It is good to see the Mad Dog Hunter returning for the Red team. We also have the unusual development where JHands has switched sides and is now on the opposite side to his father-in-law, Indiana GolfBad.
[Max] That’s right Cortana. We only have one rookie this time, but what a rookie. The Blue team have managed to recruit Richard the Mad Hatter, better known as Insane Rick. He really knows how to get the most out of his character, Eric Beaudry, when it comes to playing TGC in IRL.
[Cortana] I think the teams are evenly balanced and it should be a close contest.
[Max] Let’s hope so. Viewers, now is the time to select the Day 1 match you want to watch.
[Mrs G switches the Holo to show the Indiana GolfBad match]
[Max] This should be an intriguing match. I-GolfBad and his IRL character Mark Lawrence are up against his son-in-law J-Hands and his IRL character Jason Hansford.
[Cortana] Yes. I saw that J-Hands started early and gave Jason the idea to send the grandkids to Mark’s house to distract him while playing TGC.
[Max] I can see them pestering him while he tries to play TGC. That’s a sneaky pre-game move. What about their playing partners?
[Cortana] Indiana Golfbad is playing with King Arthur of Vandelay and his IRL character Art Vandelay. Art controls the IRL market for gold latex. Art is looking very relaxed in his penthouse overlooking Hong Kong harbour. King Arthur influenced Art to play on PC because it provides Superiority Complex attribute points.
[Max] J-Hands is playing with Portred and his IRL character David Herron. David is an IRL ambulance driver. He is looking a bit tired after coming off a long shift where he spent two hours helping patients and ten hours waiting to offload them at the hospital.
[Cortana] David should still be ok though. Portred influenced David to play on XBox to get the extra Fortitude points, even though it gives a hit to the Luck attribute.
[Max] I think they have just teed off. Let’s slow things down to TGC speed and get up close to the action. We’ll overlay extra information from IRL and the ID Arena as the match progresses.
Chapter 3
1st Hole:
[Max] King Arthur is sending calming thoughts to Art as he lines up a birdie putt to take the first hole. He gets it. The Blue team go one up.
2nd Hole:
[Cortana] Max, I can see that JHands is giving Jason the idea to phone Mark while he plays his par putt.
[Max] It has distracted Mark enough to miss his par putt. The Red team get back to level.
.
.
4th Hole:
[Max] They halved the third hole and now Art has a bending birdie putt to win the hole. King Arthur is suggesting to Art to hit it through the break. He’s done just that and the Blue team are back to one up.
[Cortana] As they walk to the 5th tee I can see Indiana has given Mark the idea to stir up Jason.
[Max] It looks like Mark is telling Jason that he will visit Jason and show him how to cook a decent barbeque. Jason is not happy. Nothing riles an IRL guy like having his BBQ skills questioned.
.
.
7th Hole:
[Max] That BBQ insult really worked. Jason has been fuming for the last two holes and has gone bogey, double bogey and the Blue Team are now three up.
[Cortana] It looks like JHands has finally been able to calm Jason down, and now he’s planted the idea to insult Mark about his DIY skills.
[Max] It worked. Mark’s blood pressure has gone up and he’s four-putted for double bogey. The Blue team lead by two now.
8th Hole:
[Max] Art and Mark are just staring into space.
[Cortana] Yes. In the ID Arena, King Arthur and Indiana have removed their Interface Devices and are having a quick chat. Now they are back.
[Max] Having no thoughts for a short period really helped them both. Mark has recovered his composure and parred, and Art has birdied. The Blue team is back to 3 Up.
.
.
11th Hole:
[Max] On the 9th tee, Portred suggested to David to have a puff of the paramedics green whistle. It worked wonders because he has gone birdie, birdie and the Red Team has won the 9th and 10th holes to be only 1 Down.
[Cortana] And they’ve just halved the 11th too, so the Blue Team is still just 1 Up.
12th Hole:
[Max] Did I see Indiana suggest to Mark that he should text something to his daughter?
[Cortana] You did. I don’t know what he wrote but I can see she has gone storming into Jason and is really chewing his ear off.
[Max] It rattled Jason. I can see JHands trying to suggest taking deep breaths … but he’s missed his par putt and the Blue Team has won the hole to go back to 2 Up.
.
.
15th Hole:
[Max] They’ve matched each other on the last two holes so we come to the 15th hole with the Blue Team still 2 Up with four holes to play.
[Cortana] Art is looking distracted at his other computer screen. He’s just received an enormous order for latex bondage suits from the British Tory party.
[Max] King Arthur is sending focussing thoughts to Art but it isn’t working. He’s bogeyed the par 5 and now the Red Team are just 1 Down with three holes to play.
.
.
18th Hole:
[Max] Both teams have matched each other on the 16th and 17th holes and now they are on the 18th hole with the Blue Team dormie one.
[Cortana] All the characters have reached the fairway and have a long second across the water into a strong head wind.
[Max] David hit a slow from the tee and has much further to carry than the other three. He can’t decide whether to lay up or go for it.
[Cortana] Portred is suggesting to David to go for it … but it has come up short and landed in the water. The others have all reached the green. Surely it’s all over now.
[Max] Not yet. David has hit his shot to within two feet of the pin and has secured the bogey.
[Cortana] Both Jason and Art have got their pars. Mark just has to avoid the four putt, double bogey to win the match.
[Max] Look at Indiana reinforcing the lag putt suggestion to Mark.
[Cortana] It seemed to work. His birdie putt avoided going down to the next tier … and he has tapped it in for par.
[Max] The Blue Team have won the hole and won the match 2 Up.
[Cortana] That was a riveting match.
[Max] Thanks Cortana. Join us again at 12pm for the Day 2 matches.
Chapter 4
[TGC - Press Pool Offices]
Mark Lawrence sits in his big executive chair in the Press Pool offices. I enter.
[KenW] You and Art played well today, boss.
[MarkL] It was good to contribute to the team today, Captain, even if Art did carry me for most of it.
[KW] You still had to score when it mattered. Remember, we win, lose or draw as a team.
[ML] Did you get anywhere with that skull thing raving on about the Outside?
[KW] You’ll think I’m mad, but I’ve got this idea. I don't know where it came from. What if all this is not real?
[ML] TGC? Of course, it's not real.
[KW] No. Real life too. What if our ideas are not our own? What if we are all part of a game?
[ML] Like a real world version of Skyrim?
[KW] Yes. Your character in Skyrim doesn’t know it is being controlled by you. Maybe it’s the same for us?
[ML] What have you been smoking?
[KW] Nothing. It was just an idea that came to me.
[ML] A mad one … but it might make for some interesting reading. See if you can work it into your match reports.
[KW] Yes, boss.
THE END
|
|
|
|
Post by prowse00 on Aug 10, 2022 4:46:01 GMT -5
Cyder Cup Day 1 - Match 8
Paul Davies & Patrick Hannigan
Chris Grzesik & Paul Matchen
Good Morning folks, weekly BC recapper here. It is with my pleasure to accept the invitation to be part of the notorious Cyder Cup press team. Pen, pad, spare pen and fresh undies packed, off to the Belfry we go. Was so excited that I managed to end up arriving a day early. Nothing that a sleep in the back of the car will sort but morning came, check in done, ready to put pen to paper, let's do this. With my services not needed for the morning session, it allowed me to take advantage of press privileges. In Mr Lawrence's detailed do's and don'ts press sheet guide, no.147: Press badge provides complimentary beverages day or night 24/7. So "one of your finest pints of lager please" I asked. With a warm smile the beautiful bar lady replied "that will be £12.50 please." I don't think so darling. Pointing at my badge "I'm press pool, full vip package" The warm smiled lady gave a chuckle. "Um..that's not a press badge I am afraid, £12.50 please"  Down to the press office I marched but no one was to be seen, surely this was a simple mistake that could be easily sorted. Apparently not! In my quest to resolve the matter, I somehow missed the tee time of my first assignment. Badgeless, beerless, and now late, this ain’t going to go down well with the boss.  Making a swift entrance onto the 3rd green it was time to report. Nothing between Chris and Patrick on this hole with two perfectly executed eagles. Paul made Par for the Monarchs but Paul with his Birdie won the hole for the Strikers.  While walking to the fourth, I was able to find via the power of the internet the current running scores. Strikers took hole 1, tick!. Monarchs hole 2 tick! After the 5th Strikers were up by one 3 to 2. This was proving to be an entertaining affair with both trading scores hole after hole in what looked like was going to be a very close contest to the end. There was a delay in teeing off on the 6th,after both Paul and Patrick drove straight down the fairway. Chris was up but was nowhere to be seen. After a few silent moments, a figure outshone through the bushes. What was this?!! Chris ‘Lazersight’ Grzesik was being chanted from the gallery to the side.  Highlight reels are being prepared which will be shown for years to come. Lazersight Grzeski tore the remaining of the course up. Finishing with a personal score of -16, there was never going to be another winner. Holding onto their 7-2 lead at the halfway point. Strikers took this game with a convincing 6&4 Win.
|
|
|
|
Post by IGolfBad on Aug 10, 2022 6:53:29 GMT -5
Hi,
Nice report Mark. It's undisputed truth that "dignity" is a word out of my vocabulary !
Congrats to our triumphant Strikers. Paul, we did our best, and that's not understatement.
Some words to improve the French culture of this fine assembly : <snips a lovely tutorial of the fine French language and its idioms> Thank you kindly for that detailed exposition, Dom! Quite informative! I’d like to place all blame for my choppy attempt to use some French in my report on the minions of Apple.co and their questionably useful translator app for iPhone. It’s good to know that if I were ever to try to use it in the wild, that I’d be laughed out of the country, whichever nation that might theoretically be. Cheers! |
|
|
|
Post by SkyBlueBen on Aug 10, 2022 7:26:49 GMT -5
Hi,
Nice report Mark. It's undisputed truth that "dignity" is a word out of my vocabulary !
Congrats to our triumphant Strikers. Paul, we did our best, and that's not understatement.
Some words to improve the French culture of this fine assembly : <snips a lovely tutorial of the fine French language and its idioms> Thank you kindly for that detailed exposition, Dom! Quite informative! I’d like to place all blame for my choppy attempt to use some French in my report on the minions of Apple.co and their questionably useful translator app for iPhone. It’s good to know that if I were ever to try to use it in the wild, that I’d be laughed out of the country, whichever nation that might theoretically be. Cheers! If you use Google translate in France you’ll probably end up getting locked up 🤣 |
|
