Day 3 - Singles:
Leon Anderson (Loftyando ) vs Simon Morris (SAM )GUEST COMMENTATORS - HORSE RACING
Voiceover Guy:
The following broadcast is rated M. It may contain strong language. Parental guidance is recommended.
We are now crossing to our live coverage of Day 3 of the Brew Crew Cyder Cup. Mr Head was unavailable for today’s commentary so we have brought in our Horse Racing commentators to present this show.
[Intro Music plays]
RS: Welcome to our live commentary stream for Day 3 of the Brew Crew Cyder Cup Racing Carnival brought to you by Dickens Cyder. My name is Ray Singnut. You’ve joined us for Race 7 on the card, a singles race between Leon Anderson from the Monarchs stable and Simon Morris from the Strikers stable. The horses will be coming out to the parade ring soon. But first we go across to our resident tipster, Ivor Shorething, in the betting ring.
IS: Thanks Ray. Don’t mind the gravestones behind me. They set up the betting ring in the cemetery. Now the news in the ring is … the odds are close … touch my silly hat … 6-4 favourite … Monarchs … stick some fingers in the air … 5-2 Strikers … pat my elbow … all square … 5-1 … hold my arms in the air.
RS: Thanks Ivor. Complete nonsense as usual. That’s why you are on a commentary team and not a professional gambler. Anyway, I think the horses are coming out, so we will cross to the parade ring to hear from our own lovely filly, Isla Vorsechs. Isla.
IV: We have a two-horse race today. Both runners come from good breeding stock. For the Monarchs we have Leon Anderson out of Lion Queen Sarabi by Mr Anderson out of The Matrix. For the Strikers we have Simon Morris out of Carly Simon by Austin Morris out of British Leyland. Of the two runners, Leon is definitely showing the better recent form having won his last outing in The Brew Crew Season 7 race.
RS: Thanks Isla. Both horses are about to enter the parade ring. Let’s listen to what the Clerk of the Course has to say.
SW: My name is Snow White and I want to welcome you to Day Three of the Season 7 Cyder Cup, sponsored by Dickens Cyder. As our local town crier shouts whenever I go to town, “Oh yay, Oh yay. Come and get your Dickens Cyder.”
[Laughter from the crowd]
SW: The players are ready. Heading up to the first tee, for the defending champions the Strongbow Strikers, we have Simon“ The SAMster” Morris.
[As Simon walks to the tee, the sky blue gallery starts singing “Let’s all sing together, Play well Sky Blues! Whilst we sing together, We will never lose!”]
SW: It looks like the Strikers have now started singing too. Not sure where they got that song from. And now, for the Magnar Monarchs, give a warm welcome to the Aussie version of Dwayne Johnson, it’s Leon “The Ayers Rock” Anderson. I would love to blow some air on your rock, Leon… did I say that out loud?”
[The music of “I Come From A Land Down Under” starts playing ...]
[Leon walks up to the first tee as the Monarch’s supporters start singing, “He comes from a land down under, where Strikers blow and Monarchs thunder ...”]
RS: Uplifting stuff there from the Monarchs. Now for our regular horse racing audience, this race is going to be a bit different than normal because it can be won before the horses cross the finishing line. A horse can win by being more lengths in front of the field than there are furlongs left to run. Back to you Isla.
IV: Thanks Ray. Well the horses are getting ready for the starting gate. Simon has a lovely shine to his beard. He’s looking in great condition. Leon is starting to sweat up a bit but hopefully he can calm down before we get under way. Ray.
RS: Thank you Isla. I think we have just enough time to get the final betting from Ivor.
IV: Thanks Ray. Monarchs still favourite … touch my ear .. easing to 7-5 … Strikers now 2-1 … crossed double-bird … All Square … 9-2 … pinch my nose.
RS: Thanks Ivor. More nonsense. I think the horses are settling into their stalls ready for this 18 furlong race. They are under starter’s orders … And they’re off!
RS: Leon in the red makes the early pace and at the first furlong marker he leads Simon in the sky blue by a length … four furlongs down and Leon has pulled his lead out to two lengths … we’ve reached the 7th furlong marker and Simon is working hard to keep the gap to just two lengths … as they reach the mile marker, Leon has turned up the pace again and has stretched his lead to three lengths … they’ve reached the half-way stage and Simon is working hard but doesn't seem to be able to find any more speed … Leon’s been given the whip and now he is really galloping along … he’s stretching that lead to four lengths, five lengths, six lengths and there are only six furlongs to go … can Simon find anything in the tank to close that gap … no, quite the opposite he’s pulling up … Leon’s is going away and is now seven lengths in front with only five furlongs left … Leon has won and canters to the finishing post still seven lengths in front.
RS: That was a comfortable win for Leon. It was pretty much over by the half-way mark. Your thoughts, Isla.
IV: Leon was in fine form today but Simon never really got going and was showing signs of distress with a mile still to go. Let’s hope it’s not a physical injury. We don’t want to spoil this BCCC Racing Carnival by having to put him down.
RS: Sorry to interrupt, Isla. I believe the Strikers have raised a protest. This one is going to a steward’s inquiry. We’re not sure what this is about. Isla?
IV: It could have something to do with the Monarch’s Captain of Vice, Madame Santapaula, using too much whip on Leon at the halfway mark … no, wait … I hear that Simon is protesting that the going was set at Tour Worthy and he had prepared for those conditions but he believes that it should have been classed as Approved Only, so his equipment was not set up properly.
RS: I don’t think that will carry much weight with B101 in the Stewards Room.
IV: You were right Ray. The protest has been quickly thrown out and the result stands.
RS: There you have it. The Monarch's Leon Anderson won that race by 7 lengths with 5 furlongs to go and the Striker's Simon Morris came a distant second. Thank you to Ivor and Isla. Join us again next week from Mexico, when we commentate on some motor racing at the Forza Horizon Festival. Goodbye.
