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Post by inflames47 on Nov 18, 2021 10:53:35 GMT -5
Great write up coggin66 I mean seriously where do you guys come up with all these fantastic match reports! Two pharmacists and four alcoholics on the Press Pool staff, Carol… you do the math 😉  Can"t I just drink the beers ..I hate math |
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Post by Harveydog500 on Nov 18, 2021 12:54:00 GMT -5
Day 2 Match 5 --Monarchs Ashton Fox and Ross Nixon versus Strikers Sam Pond and Ben Tough
Folks, due to a minor issue involving a chemical fire, zombies, and the Baton Rouge chapter of the Daughters of Unfortunate Golfers (DUG), there were some delays getting back to the press room. (But that’s another story.) All you good people need to know is that this reporter has persevered to deliver the scoop on one of the last rounds to be finished on Day 2...
As the sun lowered in the sky over the Bayou, our illustrious players were readying themselves to compete in this highly anticipated match of Better Ball. No, this is not where each team counts the lowest score per hole between partners to out-score the opposing team. I’m referring the game where each team uses whatever they want for their ball in an effort to win the match.
Up first for the Monarchs was Ashton Fox. Ashton gave Ross a wry smile and reached into a hefty duffel revealing a roll of $100 bills. Ben and Sam exchanged quizzical glances. The officials pondered Ashton’s choice for a few moments, conferred, and nodded in agreement, “That’s acceptable.” Ashton approached the tee and set up the roll. But instead of driving it down the fairway he chose a pitching wedge, repositioned himself off the left, and pitched the roll into the woods, out of bounds. The head official cleared his throat, jumped into the cart, and drove over to the woods at full speed. After a couple of minutes, the second official radioed over..
“So, what’s the ruling, chief?”
“Hole in One.”
“Roger that.”
For the Strikers, Sam brought out a Laughing Kookaburra.
“What the hell are they going to do with that??” Ross asked.
Sam reached into his pocket, pulled out a small frog, fed it to the bird, and set it on the tee. But instead of grabbing a club, he stood at attention behind the bird and yelled “YOU’RE WELCOME AS FCUK!!” The bird flew off in a flash straight towards green. They all watched as it landed on the cup then took a dump in it. ACE. (or Deuce)
The teams maintained these strategies and were locked in a dead heat until the final stretch when the Monarchs’ last rolls of cash were shredded by the Strikers’ Kookaburra. With the loss of their ball, they, as the rules stipulated, had to use a ball of the opponents choosing. In this case, it was old chunks of Stilton that Ben had found ‘round back of the pub the night before. The Monarchs never adjusted to the Stilton and bogeyed the remaining holes.**
Strikers over Monarchs 2&1
**Disclaimer: Monarchs scored no actual bogeys
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Post by Ashton Fox on Nov 18, 2021 13:15:14 GMT -5
I get that these reports are a good bit of fun and hardly based on reality but.... Without access to the scorecards and no recap offered, I want to make sure we weren't actually put down for a bogey because asyoudo64 & I had 0 bogies on the card for Day 2.... 🦊 |
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Post by Harveydog500 on Nov 18, 2021 13:42:30 GMT -5
I get that these reports are a good bit of fun and hardly based on reality but.... Without access to the scorecards and no recap offered, I want to make sure we weren't actually put down for a bogey because asyoudo64 & I had 0 bogies on the card for Day 2.... 🦊 I can confirm that the scorecards show no bogeys for you guys. Made an edit to my post. |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 18, 2021 13:47:13 GMT -5
I get that these reports are a good bit of fun and hardly based on reality but.... Without access to the scorecards and no recap offered, I want to make sure we weren't actually put down for a bogey because asyoudo64 & I had 0 bogies on the card for Day 2.... 🦊 Here you go Ashton...  And Sam's card as you are unable to see it on the TGCT boards...  |
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Post by Ashton Fox on Nov 18, 2021 14:24:53 GMT -5
Harveydog500 & SkyBlueBen cheers guys and thanks for the paperwork. I didn't question the result, I just wanted to make sure our apples weren't being counted as oranges (I heard about the reporters at the bar 😜) and I didn't have a way to check it myself. Great match, Sam and Ben! 🤝 Back to the cocoon:  🦊
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Post by asyoudo64 on Nov 18, 2021 16:05:09 GMT -5
I get that these reports are a good bit of fun and hardly based on reality but.... Without access to the scorecards and no recap offered, I want to make sure we weren't actually put down for a bogey because asyoudo64 & I had 0 bogies on the card for Day 2.... 🦊 Here you go Ashton... And Sam's card as you are unable to see it on the TGCT boards... Great playing Ben and Sam👍. Really good rounds on a tough day. The Monarchs will rally 🦋. |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 18, 2021 16:09:49 GMT -5
Harveydog500 & SkyBlueBen cheers guys and thanks for the paperwork. I didn't question the result, I just wanted to make sure our apples weren't being counted as oranges (I heard about the reporters at the bar 😜) and I didn't have a way to check it myself. Great match, Sam and Ben! 🤝 Back to the cocoon: 🦊 I’m making all the cards available on the spreadsheet after each day completes. Adds an air of mystery while matches play out. Sometimes we are hamstrung by when players can manage to get their rounds in. It’s a fine balancing act!! All cards will be available in full at some stage so everyone can see how things panned out in their particular matches. Onward! |
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Post by xxdannyxxo on Nov 18, 2021 18:34:11 GMT -5
is there anyone out there who can get me in Magners monarchs private thread as wrong account is in there @ashton Fox SkyBlueBen or whoever basicaaly yesterday i logged in here on wrong account & see private thread even though i dont see it no more but im not in there under main account which is 1 i use which is this 1 thankyou |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 18, 2021 19:54:28 GMT -5
is there anyone out there who can get me in Magners monarchs private thread as wrong account is in there @ashton Fox SkyBlueBen or whoever basicaaly yesterday i logged in here on wrong account & see private thread even though i dont see it no more but im not in there under main account which is 1 i use which is this 1 thankyou One for you Ashton. Get Danny back! |
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Post by coggin66 on Nov 18, 2021 20:03:24 GMT -5
is there anyone out there who can get me in Magners monarchs private thread as wrong account is in there @ashton Fox SkyBlueBen or whoever basicaaly yesterday i logged in here on wrong account & see private thread even though i dont see it no more but im not in there under main account which is 1 i use which is this 1 thankyou One for you Ashton. Get Danny back! Or we'll take him! |
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Post by IGolfBad on Nov 18, 2021 23:49:17 GMT -5
Cyder Cup IV - Day 2, Match 18
With Lawrence still soused at the bar, the admins and remaining sober press crew (so... the admins...) sought out the help of world famous pitchman Ryan George to present his views on this particular match. With apologies to Ryan George...
Scene: the office of Big TV Producer, where we find Starving Script Writer readying to present his latest idea for a new television program.
BTP: So, you have an idea for a new show for me?
SSW: Yes, sir, I do! It's called The Brew Crew Cyder Cup, a series about pixel golfers who have nothing else better to do than play a video game on various consoles in what they secretly believe is worthwhile and serious.
BTP: Oh, I do love some hot video game golfer on golfer action. What's a Cyder Cup?
SSW: Four days of golf. You know, hit the ball, find the ball, hit the ball, find the ball, hit the ball, find the ball...
BTP: Yeah? What else do they do?
SSW: Hit the ball, find the ball, hit the ball...
BTP: (checks his watch, gazes at the ceiling, scratches his head)
SSW: Find the ball, hit the ball, watch it go in the hole!
BTP: Sounds exciting! Does the highest score win?
SSW: Actually, the lower the score, the better. The aim is to hit the ball into the hole in as few strokes as possible.
BTP: What do the players use to hit the ball? A paddle? A flat stick like a hockey stick? Their feet?
SSW: No, sir, they use various types of "clubs", which are long sticks with oddly shaped bits of metal or wood on the ends that the players use to strike the ball toward the intended target.
BTP: Oh! Billiards!
SSW: Not exactly. Anyway, there are hazards along the way, which interfere with the progress of the players.
BTP: Oh, really?!
SSW: Yes, sir! Things like ponds and streams, sand and tall grass, even giant trees and rocks!
BTP: Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow...
SSW: Yeah! And often times, those hazards make it much more difficult for the player to find the hole!
BTP: Ohhh, difficulty finding holes is tight!
SSW: ...
BTP: So who makes sure the players don't cheat?
SSW: The Marshal.
BTP: So what's his deal?
SSW: Well, that's a guy who follows the golfers around and ensures all the rules of golf are strictly adhered to by the letter. Also, the golfers are typically honorable sorts and play fairly, even though some will bend the rules on occasion.
BTP: Hmmm... we can dress the marshal in a cowboy hat, give him a star shaped badge, and a couple of six-shooters to uphold the law!
SSW: That's really not how that works.
BTP: Let's put him on his trusty steed to carry him around the course.
SSW: Seriously...?
BTP: We can call him Sheriff Marshal, constable of the course.
SSW: Look, I'm going to need you to get all the way off my back about the marshal.
BTP: Alright! Let me get off that thing!
SSW: So along the way, we'll feature some crazy antics like a golfer falling into a pond trying to retrieve his ball.
BTP: Whoops!
SSW: Whoopsie!
BTP: But suppose a golfer falls into the water and is drenched! How will they get dry clothes?
SSW: Unclear!
BTP: Fair enough!
SSW: Then to infuse some excitement into the match, we'll have an occasional golfer get the ball in the hole in 2 shots under the expected number of shots. We'll call those "eagles".
BTP: Eagles, eh? Sound like it will be very tough to obtain one of those.
SSW: Actually, it'll be super easy! Barely an inconvenience!
BTP: Oh, really?
SSW: You bet! We'll have some holes that will be labeled as par 5's but in reality will be easily reachable in 2 shots, and could technically be call par 4's.
BTP: If they're easily reachable in 2, why not just call them par 4's?
SSW: So the eagles can happen!
BTP: Oh! Then how is the winner determined?
SSW: Well, there will be 4 days total, with pairs from each team matching up the first two days, then single members from each team facing off the final two days. After all is said and done, the team with the most successful matches will win the Cyder Cup.
BTP: Hey! That's the name of the show!
SSW: Yep! It sure is!
BTP: But what's to stop the other team from just going in and stealing away the Cyder Cup?
SSW: Remember, the players are bound by a code of honor, and will patiently wait for 2 seasons to pass to try to win the cup. It's all very exciting, and with a good number of interested sponsors, there could be a lot of money in it for the production company.
BTP: Money? Did you say money?
SSW: So what do you think, sir?
BTP: Seems a very niche kind of production, but I guess we'll get a few interested participants...
HEADLINE: Brew Crew Cyder Cup Registration Highest Ever
David Stevenson / Paul Matchen (Strikers) over Lucas Bombardier / Patrick Hannigan (Monarchs) 2 and 1
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Post by IGolfBad on Nov 19, 2021 1:05:38 GMT -5
Cyder Cup IV - Day 2, Match 12
Dan Blanton and Paul Bradford (Monarchs) vs Andy Gammons and Simon Morris (Strikers)
But first... do you suppose that in ancient Rome, when doctors wanted to give medication into a patient's vein, that they started a 4?
And now...
It's time to play Family Feud! Welcome to the our Brew Crew Cyder Cup week, with two families of two golfers each (COVID has forced us to reduce the number of family members to ensure participant safety). Let's meet the families!
First up, we have the Blanfords! Meet Dan and Paul, wearing their Monarch Red!!!
And the Morrmons! We have Andy and Simon, in their Striker Blue!
Dan and Andy, come on up to the podium! (Dan and Andy shake hands, all giddy and jumping around) We asked 100 ornithologists this question, and the top 4 answers are on the board. The question: Name your favorite thing to find on the golf course...
>CHIME<
Yes! Andy Morrmons!
Andy: Butterflies!!!
Show me "Butterflies"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Andy, but Dan gets a chance to steal... Dan! 100 ornithologists... favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: a birdie!
Show me "Birdie"! >DING<
Number 1 answer!! Monarchs take the first hole! >APPLAUSE<
Hello, Paul... 2 answers left on the board. Favorite thing on the golf course...
Paul: Tall grass!
Show me "Tall Grass"! >BUZZ< Sorry, Paul, no tall grass for you! Dan, name a favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: finding a lost ball (crowd agrees) "Good answer! Good answer!"
Show me "Finding Balls"! >BUZZ< (under his breath) Jeez, this is going to take forever... alright, Paul, two strikes, and if you miss, the Morrmons get a chance to steal... Paul?
Paul: "ummmmm... beautiful sunsets?" (audience groans, with Dan off camera, "dammit, Paul!")
Anything could happen, folks... show me "Sunsets"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Blanfords! Morrmons, give me 3 answers!!!
Andy: Richard, we had to think like ornithologists, so we like ducks, swans, and geese! (Simon jumps up and down, honking...)
Interesting choices! (light applause and laughter) Show me those water fowl!
>BUZZ< (groans from the crowd)
Oh no! Six holes with no right answers! On to #8! Families, we asked 100 greenskeepers what their favorite greens conditions were, and the top 2 answers are on the board...>CHIME< Yes! Paul Blanford!
Paul: Very soft, very slow, 109 speed, Richard! (silence from the audience. Dan buries his face in his hands)
Show me... (soft chuckle)... oh my dear, I can't believe I'm about to say this... (chucking instensifies.... through full on laughter) Show me "Very Soft, Very Slow, 109 Speed"! >BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ< (audience laughs hysterically)
Paul: fcuk me
Sorry, Paul... not in the script! Morrmons, you have the chance to steal the hole! Simon... favorite greens conditions!
Simon: Richard, I'll say firm, fast, 167 speed (wild applause from the audience while Andy gives a fist pump and claps madly)
Show me "Firm, Fast, 167 Speed"!!!! >DING< Morrmons take the hole to even the match! And now it's time for a lightning round! Join me at the podium Dan and Andy!
Dan and Andy just glare at each other across the stage, seething...
We asked 100 original TGCTours members to name their favorite missing, long lost member of TGCT, and the top, unanimous answer is on the board... >DING< Yes! Dan!
Dan: That's easy, Richard! We'll go with Wagtunes! (explosive applause and boos, along with several members of the audience getting up and walking out)
Show me.... "WAGTUNES!" >DING DING DING DING< Yes! Number 1 answer! Blanfords take the hole and a 1-up lead for the Monarchs!!
(Commercial break for a slightly less than tasteful advert for Dickens Cyder)
We interrupt this broadcast of Family Feud to bring you this special report. We join special reporter Johnny Leeks at the Vatican. Johnny?
Johnny: Thanks, Walter... with the recent passing of Pope Clarence I, the Vatican Cardinals have been hard at work selecting a new Pope. Hot off their big World Series win, the Cardinals have signaled said selection by releasing 50,000 white balloons into the atmosphere, considered to be much more environmentally conscious than white steam. The new pope will be Cardinal Variables of Monaco, who will be deified under the moniker Pope Jibby I. We expect the first public appearance from Pope Jibby within the next few days. This has been Johnny Leeks reporting from the Vatican.
Walter: Thank you for that exciting news, Johnny. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress and nearly over.
I sure could go for a nice Dickens Cyder myself, am I right audience? (wild applause ensues). Ok, with the Morrmons up by 1 with one round to go, we come down to the final question. Join me at the podium, Paul and Simon! Gentleman, we surveyed 100 biochemists and the top 7 answers are on the board. Name your least favorite step in the process of oxidative metabolism in single celled eurocytic organisms!
(silence)
(more silence)
(crickets)
(slow setting of the sun)
(a janitor pushes a broom across the floor of the soundstage)
Strikers over Monarchs 1 up
Epilogue: who knew?
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Post by asyoudo64 on Nov 19, 2021 1:59:37 GMT -5
Cyder Cup IV - Day 2, Match 12Dan Blanton and Paul Bradford (Monarchs) vs Andy Gammons and Simon Morris (Strikers)
But first... do you suppose that in ancient Rome, when doctors wanted to give medication into a patient's vein, that they started a 4?
And now...
It's time to play Family Feud! Welcome to the our Brew Crew Cyder Cup week, with two families of two golfers each (COVID has forced us to reduce the number of family members to ensure participant safety). Let's meet the families!
First up, we have the Blanfords! Meet Dan and Paul, wearing their Monarch Red!!!
And the Morrmons! We have Andy and Simon, in their Striker Blue!
Dan and Andy, come on up to the podium! (Dan and Andy shake hands, all giddy and jumping around) We asked 100 ornithologists this question, and the top 4 answers are on the board. The question: Name your favorite thing to find on the golf course...
>CHIME<
Yes! Andy Morrmons!
Dan: Butterflies!!!
Show me "Butterflies"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Andy, but Dan gets a chance to steal... Dan! 100 ornithologists... favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: a birdie!
Show me "Birdie"! >DING<
Number 1 answer!! Monarchs take the first hole! >APPLAUSE<
Hello, Paul... 2 answers left on the board. Favorite thing on the golf course...
Paul: Tall grass!
Show me "Tall Grass"! >BUZZ< Sorry, Paul, no tall grass for you! Dan, name a favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: finding a lost ball (crowd agrees) "Good answer! Good answer!"
Show me "Finding Balls"! >BUZZ< (under his breath) Jeez, this is going to take forever... alright, Paul, two strikes, and if you miss, the Morrmons get a chance to steal... Paul?
Paul: "ummmmm... beautiful sunsets?" (audience groans, with Dan off camera, "dammit, Paul!")
Anything could happen, folks... show me "Sunsets"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Blanfords! Morrmons, give me 3 answers!!!
Andy: Richard, we had to think like ornithologists, so we like ducks, swans, and geese! (Simon jumps up and down, honking...)
Interesting choices! (light applause and laughter) Show me those water fowl!
>BUZZ< (groans from the crowd)
Oh no! Six holes with no right answers! On to #8! Families, we asked 100 greenskeepers what their favorite greens conditions were, and the top 2 answers are on the board...>CHIME< Yes! Paul Blanford!
Paul: Very soft, very slow, 109 speed, Richard! (silence from the audience. Dan buries his face in his hands)
Show me... (soft chuckle)... oh my dear, I can't believe I'm about to say this... (chucking instensifies.... through full on laughter) Show me "Very Soft, Very Slow, 109 Speed"! >BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ< (audience laughs hysterically)
Paul: fcuk me
Sorry, Paul... not in the script! Morrmons, you have the chance to steal the hole! Simon... favorite greens conditions!
Simon: Richard, I'll say firm, fast, 167 speed (wild applause from the audience while Andy gives a fist pump and claps madly)
Show me "Firm, Fast, 167 Speed"!!!! >DING< Morrmons take the hole to even the match! And now it's time for a lightning round! Join me at the podium Dan and Andy!
Dan and Andy just glare at each other across the stage, seething...
We asked 100 original TGCTours members to name their favorite missing, long lost member of TGCT, and the top, unanimous answer is on the board... >DING< Yes! Dan!
Dan: That's easy, Richard! We'll go with Wagtunes! (explosive applause and boos, along with several members of the audience getting up and walking out)
Show me.... "WAGTUNES!" >DING DING DING DING< Yes! Number 1 answer! Blanfords take the hole and a 1-up lead for the Monarchs!!
(Commercial break for a slightly less than tasteful advert for Dickens Cyder)
We interrupt this broadcast of Family Feud to bring you this special report. We join special reporter Johnny Leeks at the Vatican. Johnny?
Johnny: Thanks, Walter... with the recent passing of Pope Clarence I, the Vatican Cardinals have been hard at work selecting a new Pope. Hot off their big World Series win, the Cardinals have signaled said selection by releasing 50,000 white balloons into the atmosphere, considered to be much more environmentally conscious than white steam. The new pope will be Cardinal Variables of Monaco, who will be deified under the moniker Pope Jibby I. We expect the first public appearance from Pope Jibby within the next few days. This has been Johnny Leeks reporting from the Vatican.
Walter: Thank you for that exciting news, Johnny. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress and nearly over.
I sure could go for a nice Dickens Cyder myself, am I right audience? (wild applause ensues). Ok, with the Morrmons up by 1 with one round to go, we come down to the final question. Join me at the podium, Paul and Simon! Gentleman, we surveyed 100 biochemists and the top 7 answers are on the board. Name your least favorite step in the process of oxidative metabolism in single celled eurocytic organisms!
(silence)
(more silence)
(crickets)
(slow setting of the sun)
(a janitor pushes a broom across the floor of the soundstage)
Strikers over Monarchs 1 up
Epilogue: who knew? Brilliant Mark. |
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Post by sid snott on Nov 19, 2021 2:23:01 GMT -5
Cyder Cup IV - Day 2, Match 12Dan Blanton and Paul Bradford (Monarchs) vs Andy Gammons and Simon Morris (Strikers)
But first... do you suppose that in ancient Rome, when doctors wanted to give medication into a patient's vein, that they started a 4?
And now...
It's time to play Family Feud! Welcome to the our Brew Crew Cyder Cup week, with two families of two golfers each (COVID has forced us to reduce the number of family members to ensure participant safety). Let's meet the families!
First up, we have the Blanfords! Meet Dan and Paul, wearing their Monarch Red!!!
And the Morrmons! We have Andy and Simon, in their Striker Blue!
Dan and Andy, come on up to the podium! (Dan and Andy shake hands, all giddy and jumping around) We asked 100 ornithologists this question, and the top 4 answers are on the board. The question: Name your favorite thing to find on the golf course...
>CHIME<
Yes! Andy Morrmons!
Andy: Butterflies!!!
Show me "Butterflies"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Andy, but Dan gets a chance to steal... Dan! 100 ornithologists... favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: a birdie!
Show me "Birdie"! >DING<
Number 1 answer!! Monarchs take the first hole! >APPLAUSE<
Hello, Paul... 2 answers left on the board. Favorite thing on the golf course...
Paul: Tall grass!
Show me "Tall Grass"! >BUZZ< Sorry, Paul, no tall grass for you! Dan, name a favorite thing on the golf course...
Dan: finding a lost ball (crowd agrees) "Good answer! Good answer!"
Show me "Finding Balls"! >BUZZ< (under his breath) Jeez, this is going to take forever... alright, Paul, two strikes, and if you miss, the Morrmons get a chance to steal... Paul?
Paul: "ummmmm... beautiful sunsets?" (audience groans, with Dan off camera, "dammit, Paul!")
Anything could happen, folks... show me "Sunsets"! >BUZZ< Oh, I'm so sorry, Blanfords! Morrmons, give me 3 answers!!!
Andy: Richard, we had to think like ornithologists, so we like ducks, swans, and geese! (Simon jumps up and down, honking...)
Interesting choices! (light applause and laughter) Show me those water fowl!
>BUZZ< (groans from the crowd)
Oh no! Six holes with no right answers! On to #8! Families, we asked 100 greenskeepers what their favorite greens conditions were, and the top 2 answers are on the board...>CHIME< Yes! Paul Blanford!
Paul: Very soft, very slow, 109 speed, Richard! (silence from the audience. Dan buries his face in his hands)
Show me... (soft chuckle)... oh my dear, I can't believe I'm about to say this... (chucking instensifies.... through full on laughter) Show me "Very Soft, Very Slow, 109 Speed"! >BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ< (audience laughs hysterically)
Paul: fcuk me
Sorry, Paul... not in the script! Morrmons, you have the chance to steal the hole! Simon... favorite greens conditions!
Simon: Richard, I'll say firm, fast, 167 speed (wild applause from the audience while Andy gives a fist pump and claps madly)
Show me "Firm, Fast, 167 Speed"!!!! >DING< Morrmons take the hole to even the match! And now it's time for a lightning round! Join me at the podium Dan and Andy!
Dan and Andy just glare at each other across the stage, seething...
We asked 100 original TGCTours members to name their favorite missing, long lost member of TGCT, and the top, unanimous answer is on the board... >DING< Yes! Dan!
Dan: That's easy, Richard! We'll go with Wagtunes! (explosive applause and boos, along with several members of the audience getting up and walking out)
Show me.... "WAGTUNES!" >DING DING DING DING< Yes! Number 1 answer! Blanfords take the hole and a 1-up lead for the Monarchs!!
(Commercial break for a slightly less than tasteful advert for Dickens Cyder)
We interrupt this broadcast of Family Feud to bring you this special report. We join special reporter Johnny Leeks at the Vatican. Johnny?
Johnny: Thanks, Walter... with the recent passing of Pope Clarence I, the Vatican Cardinals have been hard at work selecting a new Pope. Hot off their big World Series win, the Cardinals have signaled said selection by releasing 50,000 white balloons into the atmosphere, considered to be much more environmentally conscious than white steam. The new pope will be Cardinal Variables of Monaco, who will be deified under the moniker Pope Jibby I. We expect the first public appearance from Pope Jibby within the next few days. This has been Johnny Leeks reporting from the Vatican.
Walter: Thank you for that exciting news, Johnny. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress and nearly over.
I sure could go for a nice Dickens Cyder myself, am I right audience? (wild applause ensues). Ok, with the Morrmons up by 1 with one round to go, we come down to the final question. Join me at the podium, Paul and Simon! Gentleman, we surveyed 100 biochemists and the top 7 answers are on the board. Name your least favorite step in the process of oxidative metabolism in single celled eurocytic organisms!
(silence)
(more silence)
(crickets)
(slow setting of the sun)
(a janitor pushes a broom across the floor of the soundstage)
Strikers over Monarchs 1 up
Epilogue: who knew? I knew the last question, just didn't want to appear as a smart ass |
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