The Brew Crew - The Cyder Cup IV
Nov 17, 2021 21:49:53 GMT -5
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Post by coggin66 on Nov 17, 2021 21:49:53 GMT -5
Day 2 - Pairs - Better Ball:
Doe Coba (Doe Coba ) & Ronny Akesson (r0nrun ) v Art Vandelay (Art Vandelay ) & Mark Lawrence (IGolfBad )
JOINING ME IN THE COMMENTARY BOX TODAY …
#1 - CAROL SANTAPAULA (inflames47 )
Voiceover Guy:
The following broadcast is rated MA15+. It may contain sexual references. It is not suitable for children under 15.
[Intro Music plays]
RH: Welcome to our live commentary stream for Day 2 of the Season 7 Brew Crew Cyder Cup. I'm your host Richard Head. Joining me in the commentary box today is the Vice Captain of the Monarchs, the Queen of The Brew Crew, the lovely Carol Santapaula. Welcome Carol.
CS: Thank you, Richard. Nice to be with you.
RH: Please, call me Dick
CS: No problem. I prefer Dick.
RH: Today we have Doe and Ronny from the Monarchs against Mark and Art from the Strikers. They will be coming out shortly. What are you expecting from today's match?
CS: I'm hoping my Skandy Monarchs will have the upper hand but it will be close.
RH: Art and Mark were looking a bit tired earlier from their Press Pool duties.
CS: Yes, plus all their drinking at the bar. However, it is Better Ball Pairs today, which will even things up. With these four, it is hard to tell who will come first with the Better Balls.
RH: I can see Snow White getting ready to introduce the teams. I believe you know her well. Why was Snow White invited to be the Honorary Starter for this tournament?
SC: After her impromptu guest commentator spot in the Season 5 Cyder Cup, she became the brand ambassador for Dickens Cyder. They insisted she should be the Honorary Starter as a condition of their sponsorship package.
RH: OK. It looks like they are ready to start proceedings. Let's cross to the first tee.
SW: My name is Snow White and I want to welcome you to Day Two of the Season 7 Cyder Cup, sponsored by Dickens Cyder. As my darling Prince Charming likes to tell everyone, "Having some apple put her to sleep, but it was having some of my Dickens Cyder that woke her up".
[Laughter from the crowd]
SW: The players are ready. Heading up to the first tee, for the defending champions the Strongbow Strikers, we have Mark “The Ace Reporter” Lawrence and his old sparring partner, Art “The Gold Lame Man” Vandelay.
[Chants of “Onward, Onward, …” erupt from the sky blue gallery]
SW: And now, for the Magnar Monarchs, give a warm welcome to the sizzling rasher of Danish bacon that is Doe “The Cobra” Coba and my favourite Swedish meatballs, Ronny “Da Doo Ron Run” Akesson. I would love ta doo Ron Run … did I say that out loud?”
[The music of “Do Re Mi” from Sound of Music starts playing ...]
[Doe and Ronny stride towards the first tee as the Monarchs supporters start singing, “Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ronny a drop of golden sun …”]
RH: Well, that was different. Something tells me Snow White is backing the Monarchs more than the Strikers.
CS: Yes. I think more of her XBox dwarves are in the Monarchs. Plus she loves their butt-
-erflies.
RH: Apologies listeners, we seem to be having a buffering issue that might be causing some brief pauses. Carol, the Monarch’s intro songs are new to this Cyder Cup. Is that your influence?
CS: Yes, Dick. I thought it would help to get the players and the Monarchists pumped up before the match, like at a wrestling match. Hopefully, it also demotivates the opposition too.
RH: Today you were paired with your hubby, Deathstar, for the Better Balls. What song did you use for that?
CS: We thought about using The Imperial March but I didn't want to have to dress up as Princess Leia again.
RH: Dress up? Like in Episode 4 or Jabba’s Palace in Episode 6?
CS: Jabba’s Palace, of course. However, we ended up using the title song from Beauty and the Beast, so the Monarchists had something to sing.
RH: Very fitting. Anyway, it looks like the players are about to tee-off. Let’s watch some play.
.
.
RH: Well that was a great first hole for your Monarchs. A lovely birdie from Ronny to go one up.
CS: A good start from Ronny. Did you know he’s my fitness training partner back in Sweden.
RH: Really?
CS: We do a lot of swimming together. He’s always praising me for my breasts-
-troke.
RH: Sorry folks, we seem to be still having buffering issues today. Back to the play.
.
.
RH: So they halved the 2nd hole and now Mark has a wonderful opportunity for an eagle on the 3rd … and he’s got it. Nicely played by Mark. That brings the match back to all square.
CS: Mark has some confidence from his and Bear’s win over Les and David, even though he is looking a bit tired. He looks like he needs some more holiday fun-time in Les-
-bos, where he went last summer.
RH: They are on the par 3, 4th tee. Is Art nibbling on some bread before his tee shot?
CS: Didn’t you know? Art is a mad, keen foca-
-ccia eater while he is playing.
RH: Well he’s polished that off quickly. Mark missed the green with his tee-shot. Let’s see how Art does now that he’s had a good feed.
CS: This one is looking good.
RH: Oooh. It hit the pin and stopped just two inches from the hole. That was so nearly an Ace.
CS: Art always plays some good shots after he’s had a foc-
-accia.
.
.
RH: After Ronny and Doe both missed the green, that was an easy birdie win for Art on the 4th to put the Strikers pair one up. This 5th hole is not looking so good for them. Ron & Doe are both on the green with good birdie chances. Mark and Art have both pulled their approach shots into the rubbish behind the green. They are quite close together.
CS: I think they’ve found Mark’s ball but they are both looking for Art’s. Art has spotted it near Mark. It must be next to that pr!ck-
-ly pear bush ...
RH: The Strikers both struggled to recover and that gave Doe two shots to take the win on that hole. The match is all square again.
CS: I’m sensing some confidence returning for my boys.
.
.
RH: So we’ve reached the halfway point and the momentum has definitely shifted towards your Monarchs pair. They’ve won holes 6, 7 & 9 and would have won 8 if Art hadn’t holed that 40-footer for a half. They’ve reached the turn 3 Up. Are you sensing victory yet?
CS: I’m confident my boys can take this but anything can happen in Better Ball.
RH: It looks like Ben Tough is bringing out some fresh focaccia for his team-mates.
CS: I’m surprised he’s got time for that with all the administration he’s involved in.
RH: He invited you to Mexico recently, didn’t he?
CS: Yes. He’s heavily involved in the Horizon Festival over there and I went over to spend a day with him. It was great fun.
RH: Any highlights?
CS: He was doing some drifting in his sky-blue Mazda RX-8. The grin on his face while he sat in that car having a Wank-
-el rotary engine to rev up.
RH: I’ll have to ask him more about that when I have him on the show on Day 4. Let’s go back to the golf.
.
.
RH: Well the focaccia hasn’t helped Art but Mark is looking good for a birdie here on the 10th.
CS: He’s only two feet away so even Mark can hole that. Doe will need to sink his 10 footer to halve.
RH: Oh no, he’s hit that way too hard. It’s gone off the green. He is not happy with that one.
CS: When things don’t go his way, he does get angry. He is Danish, so that is probably why he can be a bit of a cant-
-ankerous old sod.
RH: Well the Strikers have pulled one back but the Monarchs still lead by two.
.
.
RH: The Monarchs are back to 3 Up after winning the 11th. What on earth happened with Mark on that green? He had an opportunity to win the hole but swung completely back to front and ended up hitting the ball backwards further away from the hole.
CS: I think it might be Green Light Syndrome.
RH: What?
CS: Ashton was telling me the Strikers might get afflicted by Green Light Syndrome at this Cyder Cup.
RH: What is that?
CS: I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. Some mental condition, I think. Maybe it’s from their high altitude training camp in Mexico. Bizarrely, Ashton said he’d got the name from me after reading a match report but I don’t remember hearing of it before he told me.
[Meanwhile on the course …]
Art: What was that Mark? We should have won that one.
Mark: Sorry Art. I’m so tired from all this Blue light, Green light stuff. I’m playing my own match and then back and forth doing multiple match reports. Yesterday I was awake for like 30 hours. Today I thought I’d save some time and watch my second reporting match in reverse while I was inverted. To pull it off I had to do everything backwards for like three hours. I think I’ve fried my brain and I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
Art: I can see you aren’t going to be much help for the rest of the round
[Back in the studio]
RH: The Monarchs are 3 Up and here on the 12th green, Art has a 15 footer for birdie and to get a crucial hole back. Let’s watch how this goes. He’s hit it … but he’s left it short …
[On the green …]
Art: You Lump of School, Art. That hasn’t got the Dolly Pegs to get anywhere near the Drum Roll. That’s only a Cow and Calf.
[In the studio]
RH: What was that? He sounds a bit rattled.
CS: Art likes to sound posh but when he’s under pressure he’ll often bring out his cock-
-ney rhyming slang
RH: Well your Monarchs are still 3 Up with 6 holes to go.
.
.
RH: Doe and Ronny made a complete mess of the par 5 13th to let the Strikers take that hole and they’ve just all parred the 14th to halve that one. So your boys are now 2 Up with four holes to play. This could go down to the wire.
CS: It could. Ronny and Mark are struggling on this 15th hole and are still both off the green for three. It looks like this one is a putting contest between Art and Doe.
RH: Art it is up first … Oooh, he just missed. Now Doe with a bending 25 footer ...
CS: Come on Doe!
RH: The pace is good … will it drop … it has! They like that. They’ve gone to Dormie 3. It looks like they’ve started singing along with the crowd
[On the green …]
Doe and Ronny and the Monarchists: Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ronny a drop of golden sun ...
[In the studio]
CS: They do love their singing. Ronny, Doe, me and three of the other Monarchs often sing together. We have a great sex-
-tet.
.
.
RH: It’s the 16th tee and the Monarchs have the honour. Ronny hits first … but he misses the green. Now, it’s Doe’s turn … What a beauty! … That is only 3 feet from the pin … Surely that will win the match.
CS: My boys are really happy with that one. I’ve not seen them that happy since they came with me to watch my Arse-
-nal football club win at The Emirates stadium.
.
.
RH: The Strikers really needed to Ace that 16th hole to keep the match alive but it was not to be. Art and Mark have only managed pars and that leaves Doe with two shots from 3 feet to win the match … he doesn’t need them … it’s a birdie. The Monarchs win the hole and win the match 4 & 2.
CS: The Strikers played well. It was closer than that result indicates. It really turned on some great play from Doe on the 15th and 16th holes.
RH: I presume you and Ashton will be particularly enjoying this win against Art, given he took the title off you last time.
CS: Ashton will enjoy that one. He is very keen to get his hands on another tit-
-le again.
RH: Well that brings our broadcast to a close today. Thank you Carol for joining me. Good luck for the rest of the tournament.
CS: All good Dick. It has been a pleasure.
RH: Apologies for the buffering issues, viewers. We hope it didn’t spoil your broadcast. Until next time, it’s goodbye from me, Richard Head.
Doe Coba (Doe Coba ) & Ronny Akesson (r0nrun ) v Art Vandelay (Art Vandelay ) & Mark Lawrence (IGolfBad )
JOINING ME IN THE COMMENTARY BOX TODAY …
#1 - CAROL SANTAPAULA (inflames47 )
Voiceover Guy:
The following broadcast is rated MA15+. It may contain sexual references. It is not suitable for children under 15.
[Intro Music plays]
RH: Welcome to our live commentary stream for Day 2 of the Season 7 Brew Crew Cyder Cup. I'm your host Richard Head. Joining me in the commentary box today is the Vice Captain of the Monarchs, the Queen of The Brew Crew, the lovely Carol Santapaula. Welcome Carol.
CS: Thank you, Richard. Nice to be with you.
RH: Please, call me Dick
CS: No problem. I prefer Dick.
RH: Today we have Doe and Ronny from the Monarchs against Mark and Art from the Strikers. They will be coming out shortly. What are you expecting from today's match?
CS: I'm hoping my Skandy Monarchs will have the upper hand but it will be close.
RH: Art and Mark were looking a bit tired earlier from their Press Pool duties.
CS: Yes, plus all their drinking at the bar. However, it is Better Ball Pairs today, which will even things up. With these four, it is hard to tell who will come first with the Better Balls.
RH: I can see Snow White getting ready to introduce the teams. I believe you know her well. Why was Snow White invited to be the Honorary Starter for this tournament?
SC: After her impromptu guest commentator spot in the Season 5 Cyder Cup, she became the brand ambassador for Dickens Cyder. They insisted she should be the Honorary Starter as a condition of their sponsorship package.
RH: OK. It looks like they are ready to start proceedings. Let's cross to the first tee.
SW: My name is Snow White and I want to welcome you to Day Two of the Season 7 Cyder Cup, sponsored by Dickens Cyder. As my darling Prince Charming likes to tell everyone, "Having some apple put her to sleep, but it was having some of my Dickens Cyder that woke her up".
[Laughter from the crowd]
SW: The players are ready. Heading up to the first tee, for the defending champions the Strongbow Strikers, we have Mark “The Ace Reporter” Lawrence and his old sparring partner, Art “The Gold Lame Man” Vandelay.
[Chants of “Onward, Onward, …” erupt from the sky blue gallery]
SW: And now, for the Magnar Monarchs, give a warm welcome to the sizzling rasher of Danish bacon that is Doe “The Cobra” Coba and my favourite Swedish meatballs, Ronny “Da Doo Ron Run” Akesson. I would love ta doo Ron Run … did I say that out loud?”
[The music of “Do Re Mi” from Sound of Music starts playing ...]
[Doe and Ronny stride towards the first tee as the Monarchs supporters start singing, “Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ronny a drop of golden sun …”]
RH: Well, that was different. Something tells me Snow White is backing the Monarchs more than the Strikers.
CS: Yes. I think more of her XBox dwarves are in the Monarchs. Plus she loves their butt-
-erflies.
RH: Apologies listeners, we seem to be having a buffering issue that might be causing some brief pauses. Carol, the Monarch’s intro songs are new to this Cyder Cup. Is that your influence?
CS: Yes, Dick. I thought it would help to get the players and the Monarchists pumped up before the match, like at a wrestling match. Hopefully, it also demotivates the opposition too.
RH: Today you were paired with your hubby, Deathstar, for the Better Balls. What song did you use for that?
CS: We thought about using The Imperial March but I didn't want to have to dress up as Princess Leia again.
RH: Dress up? Like in Episode 4 or Jabba’s Palace in Episode 6?
CS: Jabba’s Palace, of course. However, we ended up using the title song from Beauty and the Beast, so the Monarchists had something to sing.
RH: Very fitting. Anyway, it looks like the players are about to tee-off. Let’s watch some play.
.
.
RH: Well that was a great first hole for your Monarchs. A lovely birdie from Ronny to go one up.
CS: A good start from Ronny. Did you know he’s my fitness training partner back in Sweden.
RH: Really?
CS: We do a lot of swimming together. He’s always praising me for my breasts-
-troke.
RH: Sorry folks, we seem to be still having buffering issues today. Back to the play.
.
.
RH: So they halved the 2nd hole and now Mark has a wonderful opportunity for an eagle on the 3rd … and he’s got it. Nicely played by Mark. That brings the match back to all square.
CS: Mark has some confidence from his and Bear’s win over Les and David, even though he is looking a bit tired. He looks like he needs some more holiday fun-time in Les-
-bos, where he went last summer.
RH: They are on the par 3, 4th tee. Is Art nibbling on some bread before his tee shot?
CS: Didn’t you know? Art is a mad, keen foca-
-ccia eater while he is playing.
RH: Well he’s polished that off quickly. Mark missed the green with his tee-shot. Let’s see how Art does now that he’s had a good feed.
CS: This one is looking good.
RH: Oooh. It hit the pin and stopped just two inches from the hole. That was so nearly an Ace.
CS: Art always plays some good shots after he’s had a foc-
-accia.
.
.
RH: After Ronny and Doe both missed the green, that was an easy birdie win for Art on the 4th to put the Strikers pair one up. This 5th hole is not looking so good for them. Ron & Doe are both on the green with good birdie chances. Mark and Art have both pulled their approach shots into the rubbish behind the green. They are quite close together.
CS: I think they’ve found Mark’s ball but they are both looking for Art’s. Art has spotted it near Mark. It must be next to that pr!ck-
-ly pear bush ...
RH: The Strikers both struggled to recover and that gave Doe two shots to take the win on that hole. The match is all square again.
CS: I’m sensing some confidence returning for my boys.
.
.
RH: So we’ve reached the halfway point and the momentum has definitely shifted towards your Monarchs pair. They’ve won holes 6, 7 & 9 and would have won 8 if Art hadn’t holed that 40-footer for a half. They’ve reached the turn 3 Up. Are you sensing victory yet?
CS: I’m confident my boys can take this but anything can happen in Better Ball.
RH: It looks like Ben Tough is bringing out some fresh focaccia for his team-mates.
CS: I’m surprised he’s got time for that with all the administration he’s involved in.
RH: He invited you to Mexico recently, didn’t he?
CS: Yes. He’s heavily involved in the Horizon Festival over there and I went over to spend a day with him. It was great fun.
RH: Any highlights?
CS: He was doing some drifting in his sky-blue Mazda RX-8. The grin on his face while he sat in that car having a Wank-
-el rotary engine to rev up.
RH: I’ll have to ask him more about that when I have him on the show on Day 4. Let’s go back to the golf.
.
.
RH: Well the focaccia hasn’t helped Art but Mark is looking good for a birdie here on the 10th.
CS: He’s only two feet away so even Mark can hole that. Doe will need to sink his 10 footer to halve.
RH: Oh no, he’s hit that way too hard. It’s gone off the green. He is not happy with that one.
CS: When things don’t go his way, he does get angry. He is Danish, so that is probably why he can be a bit of a cant-
-ankerous old sod.
RH: Well the Strikers have pulled one back but the Monarchs still lead by two.
.
.
RH: The Monarchs are back to 3 Up after winning the 11th. What on earth happened with Mark on that green? He had an opportunity to win the hole but swung completely back to front and ended up hitting the ball backwards further away from the hole.
CS: I think it might be Green Light Syndrome.
RH: What?
CS: Ashton was telling me the Strikers might get afflicted by Green Light Syndrome at this Cyder Cup.
RH: What is that?
CS: I don’t know, he wouldn’t tell me. Some mental condition, I think. Maybe it’s from their high altitude training camp in Mexico. Bizarrely, Ashton said he’d got the name from me after reading a match report but I don’t remember hearing of it before he told me.
[Meanwhile on the course …]
Art: What was that Mark? We should have won that one.
Mark: Sorry Art. I’m so tired from all this Blue light, Green light stuff. I’m playing my own match and then back and forth doing multiple match reports. Yesterday I was awake for like 30 hours. Today I thought I’d save some time and watch my second reporting match in reverse while I was inverted. To pull it off I had to do everything backwards for like three hours. I think I’ve fried my brain and I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
Art: I can see you aren’t going to be much help for the rest of the round
[Back in the studio]
RH: The Monarchs are 3 Up and here on the 12th green, Art has a 15 footer for birdie and to get a crucial hole back. Let’s watch how this goes. He’s hit it … but he’s left it short …
[On the green …]
Art: You Lump of School, Art. That hasn’t got the Dolly Pegs to get anywhere near the Drum Roll. That’s only a Cow and Calf.
[In the studio]
RH: What was that? He sounds a bit rattled.
CS: Art likes to sound posh but when he’s under pressure he’ll often bring out his cock-
-ney rhyming slang
RH: Well your Monarchs are still 3 Up with 6 holes to go.
.
.
RH: Doe and Ronny made a complete mess of the par 5 13th to let the Strikers take that hole and they’ve just all parred the 14th to halve that one. So your boys are now 2 Up with four holes to play. This could go down to the wire.
CS: It could. Ronny and Mark are struggling on this 15th hole and are still both off the green for three. It looks like this one is a putting contest between Art and Doe.
RH: Art it is up first … Oooh, he just missed. Now Doe with a bending 25 footer ...
CS: Come on Doe!
RH: The pace is good … will it drop … it has! They like that. They’ve gone to Dormie 3. It looks like they’ve started singing along with the crowd
[On the green …]
Doe and Ronny and the Monarchists: Doe, a deer, a female deer, Ronny a drop of golden sun ...
[In the studio]
CS: They do love their singing. Ronny, Doe, me and three of the other Monarchs often sing together. We have a great sex-
-tet.
.
.
RH: It’s the 16th tee and the Monarchs have the honour. Ronny hits first … but he misses the green. Now, it’s Doe’s turn … What a beauty! … That is only 3 feet from the pin … Surely that will win the match.
CS: My boys are really happy with that one. I’ve not seen them that happy since they came with me to watch my Arse-
-nal football club win at The Emirates stadium.
.
.
RH: The Strikers really needed to Ace that 16th hole to keep the match alive but it was not to be. Art and Mark have only managed pars and that leaves Doe with two shots from 3 feet to win the match … he doesn’t need them … it’s a birdie. The Monarchs win the hole and win the match 4 & 2.
CS: The Strikers played well. It was closer than that result indicates. It really turned on some great play from Doe on the 15th and 16th holes.
RH: I presume you and Ashton will be particularly enjoying this win against Art, given he took the title off you last time.
CS: Ashton will enjoy that one. He is very keen to get his hands on another tit-
-le again.
RH: Well that brings our broadcast to a close today. Thank you Carol for joining me. Good luck for the rest of the tournament.
CS: All good Dick. It has been a pleasure.
RH: Apologies for the buffering issues, viewers. We hope it didn’t spoil your broadcast. Until next time, it’s goodbye from me, Richard Head.
And it was the man from Oz 
…………………
………………
