Allan Eastwood fortnight@ Five Points Ridge and Derryvale GC
Jan 28, 2024 10:40:51 GMT -5
Harveydog500 and aeastwood54 like this
Post by hmammoth on Jan 28, 2024 10:40:51 GMT -5
You have all heard of shark week, so I thought to myself, what about a designer week and since I knew there were two courses by Allan Eastwood aeastwood54 coming up, I came up with the brilliant idea of Allan Eastwood fortnight, no weeklong event for us, we are doubling down so welcome to Allan Eastwood fortnight.
Lets meet Allan and follow him through 2 weeks of his life to help us learn what it is like to be a course designer here on tgctours. In the wild, Allan Eastwood is a rare and fascinating specimen, blending elements of a golf enthusiast and an everyday parent. He can by instantly recognised by his vibrant Hawaiian shirt that rivals the colors of a tropical sunset, paired with khaki shorts that have seen their fair share of golf course roughs and everyday mishaps. His signature floppy hat, adorned with golf ball ornaments, shields him from both the scorching sun and the occasional golf ball launched off-course. Allan's footwear of choice is a pair of well-worn golf shoes that he is cut the tips off of to turn them into golf sandals, a practical creation to help he traverse both fairways and office carpets, telling tales of his dual life.
Day 1: Equipped with a pair of binoculars, not for bird watching, but for spotting potential golf course locations and avoiding surprise water hazards in everyday life, Allan moves with a distinctive blend of purpose and unpredictability. His trusty golf club, which doubles as both a walking stick and an imaginary sword to fend off the mundane challenges of the urban jungle, is always at his side. Watch as he walks both countryside and city looking for the perfect spot for his latest creation. Private property or public, it matters not for Allan, with typical designer arrogance, he will climb walls, cut through bushes, knock down fences, nothing is sacred to a designer on the prowl. Watch As Allan navigates his natural habitat, you may catch glimpses of him practicing his swing on invisible fairways, seamlessly integrating golf drills into the rhythm of daily life. He may pause to inspect a patch of grass, contemplating the potential for a future putting green, or to sketch a quick diagram of his dream course on the nearest scrap of paper. Other people cross the street when they see Allan coming, children scream and hug their parents close, the fear is real because what is the start of course design research for Allan, is what looks like a madman to normal people.
Day 2: On the outskirt of town, Allan comes across a plot of land that he this will be perfect for his next course. The land is privately owned and not for sale, this will not stop Allan, before he starts negotiations with the landowners, first he must start negotiations with the land itself because to Allan, he needs the lands permission. Embracing his druidic roots Allan engages in negotiations with nature itself. He wants to persuade the stubborn rocks to become natural bunkers, he needs to convince the trees to create shaded alcoves, and he will need all his charm to sweet-talk a small stream into becoming a charming water hazard. With his druid ancestry to the fore, it is not long before the police are called to deal with the naked Irish man dances around a bonfire communing with nature. Again, for others looking on, the fear is real.
Day 3: After hearing the land is not for sale, Allan puts a plan in motion to make it his. He recruits his children as partners in crime, lying to them about the importance of a new golf course for the community's well-being. They don disguises, adopting various personas from golf enthusiasts to amateur wildlife photographers all in a effort to persuade the owners that a golf course would make the land a sort of nature preserve that will protect the local flowers and fauna. When this does not work, he turns to greed. Allan, now assuming the role of a renowned golf course consultant, approaches the owners with an audacious proposal. He claims that the land is the perfect setting for a Hollywood blockbuster golf movie, complete with A-list actors and a legendary director. Unfortunately, while this does make the owner want to sell, the idea of a Hollywood movie being shot there drives the price skywards, out of the reach of Allans finances. Allan heads home to rest and come up with a new plan.
Day 4: Allan does not leave the house today which gives the perfect opportunity for us to see a Allan Eastwood in his home. Picture the Eastwood residence as a mini-golf haven, where putting practice mats coexist with the daily hustle and bustle of a family with four energetic children. Golf clubs lean against walls, doubling as unconventional coat racks, and the unmistakable sound of golf balls bouncing on hardwood floors occasionally punctuates the air. Allan’s four children, each with their unique personalities and quirks, mirror their father's zest for life. The youngest is often found creating "sand bunkers" with toys in the living room, while the older ones may be caught engaging in friendly putting competitions down the hallway. Allan faces the perilous morning routine as he attempts to navigate through the treacherous kitchen terrain The kitchen of Allans home, typically a place of culinary creations, doubles as Allan's experimental golf laboratory where he uses a spatula as a makeshift golf club, attempting to flip pancakes into a frying pan with the finesse of a putting stroke. The kids cheer him on, knowing that breakfast is as much a performance as it is a meal. Allan’s workspace, the Tee-Time Office, is a blend of professionalism and golf insanity. A desk adorned with golf ball paperweights overlooks a wall covered in framed certificates, each a testament to his achievements in the golf course design world, each certificate having been created and printed by himself, his ego insisting he is rewarded for each course he designs, where the awards come from does not matter. A private sanctuary for Allan and his spouse, the Celtic Retreat is a bedroom adorned with soft hues of greens and blues. A four-poster bed with a quilt featuring Celtic knot patterns takes centre stage. Druidic symbols subtly accent the decor, symbols which to Allan create a powerful druidic magic, magic that he uses to sabotage the efforts of other course designers.
Day 5: Allan returns to the plot of land hoping that the peace and serenity of nature will help him come up with a new plan but something is wrong, there is a disturbance macrocosm, something or someone has upset the land, the breeze through the grass seems to whisper “The others, they are here”. There is a distinct smell in the air, a smell of ego, of arrogance, of distain. Allan knows it can mean just one thing, other designers have been attracted to the land because of it’s potential, like sharks to blood they have come from all over. Three of them approach Allan, and one of them speaks. “Allan Eastwood, leave this place, we are the dream team, combined our courses have hosted more events than all other designers together, combined our intellect create collaboration courses that solo designers can only dream about, combined out finances can outbid any feeble attempt you make to purchase. We are the dream team, and when we combine our bodies and soul, we become mecha kaiju course designer, dream team course designer transform”. Barely had the final words been said when the three designer start to meld and blend and combine to become a giant mechanical course designer. This does not seem to phase Allan, he speaks “ I was born under the rock of Cashal, the blood of Irish kings, and druid queens flow through my veins, I fear no creature be it mechanical or blood for I Allan Eastwood can shapeshift into creatures of Celtic legend, Eastwood transform into Artio” and in a blink of a eye, Allan turns into the druid bear goddess of myth and legend and the battle begun.
Well, in their eyes that is what was happening, to outsiders watching, the saw three old mend climb onto each other shoulders while struggling to keep balance, they stumbled around like a child learning to walk for the first time. They also saw a crazy Irish man drop to his hands and knees and begin to crawl, occasionally raising one arm while making a claw of his fist shouting Grrr,Grrrr. The police are called again, the fear is real.
Day 6: Netflix release Full Contact which is far more interesting that Allan Eastwood fortnight, overnight the viewing figures drop to zero and Allan Eastwood fortnight is cancelled. The cliff hanger ending of the designer battle annoys some but most really could not give a f**k. Both sides claim victory, both sides are completely insane. But we will not end Allan Eastwood fortnight on that note for over the next 2 weeks here on kinetic, we will play courses by the man himself, so this intro covers both weeks, with the 6 nations starting next week, it is my way of not writing a intro in the middle of a rugby weekend. So I hope you enjoy Allan Eastwood fortnight, the courses, not the show, have fun, good luck and who knows, maybe, just maybe you will catch a glimpse of Allan Eastwood being one with nature as you play.
Lets meet Allan and follow him through 2 weeks of his life to help us learn what it is like to be a course designer here on tgctours. In the wild, Allan Eastwood is a rare and fascinating specimen, blending elements of a golf enthusiast and an everyday parent. He can by instantly recognised by his vibrant Hawaiian shirt that rivals the colors of a tropical sunset, paired with khaki shorts that have seen their fair share of golf course roughs and everyday mishaps. His signature floppy hat, adorned with golf ball ornaments, shields him from both the scorching sun and the occasional golf ball launched off-course. Allan's footwear of choice is a pair of well-worn golf shoes that he is cut the tips off of to turn them into golf sandals, a practical creation to help he traverse both fairways and office carpets, telling tales of his dual life.
Day 1: Equipped with a pair of binoculars, not for bird watching, but for spotting potential golf course locations and avoiding surprise water hazards in everyday life, Allan moves with a distinctive blend of purpose and unpredictability. His trusty golf club, which doubles as both a walking stick and an imaginary sword to fend off the mundane challenges of the urban jungle, is always at his side. Watch as he walks both countryside and city looking for the perfect spot for his latest creation. Private property or public, it matters not for Allan, with typical designer arrogance, he will climb walls, cut through bushes, knock down fences, nothing is sacred to a designer on the prowl. Watch As Allan navigates his natural habitat, you may catch glimpses of him practicing his swing on invisible fairways, seamlessly integrating golf drills into the rhythm of daily life. He may pause to inspect a patch of grass, contemplating the potential for a future putting green, or to sketch a quick diagram of his dream course on the nearest scrap of paper. Other people cross the street when they see Allan coming, children scream and hug their parents close, the fear is real because what is the start of course design research for Allan, is what looks like a madman to normal people.
Day 2: On the outskirt of town, Allan comes across a plot of land that he this will be perfect for his next course. The land is privately owned and not for sale, this will not stop Allan, before he starts negotiations with the landowners, first he must start negotiations with the land itself because to Allan, he needs the lands permission. Embracing his druidic roots Allan engages in negotiations with nature itself. He wants to persuade the stubborn rocks to become natural bunkers, he needs to convince the trees to create shaded alcoves, and he will need all his charm to sweet-talk a small stream into becoming a charming water hazard. With his druid ancestry to the fore, it is not long before the police are called to deal with the naked Irish man dances around a bonfire communing with nature. Again, for others looking on, the fear is real.
Day 3: After hearing the land is not for sale, Allan puts a plan in motion to make it his. He recruits his children as partners in crime, lying to them about the importance of a new golf course for the community's well-being. They don disguises, adopting various personas from golf enthusiasts to amateur wildlife photographers all in a effort to persuade the owners that a golf course would make the land a sort of nature preserve that will protect the local flowers and fauna. When this does not work, he turns to greed. Allan, now assuming the role of a renowned golf course consultant, approaches the owners with an audacious proposal. He claims that the land is the perfect setting for a Hollywood blockbuster golf movie, complete with A-list actors and a legendary director. Unfortunately, while this does make the owner want to sell, the idea of a Hollywood movie being shot there drives the price skywards, out of the reach of Allans finances. Allan heads home to rest and come up with a new plan.
Day 4: Allan does not leave the house today which gives the perfect opportunity for us to see a Allan Eastwood in his home. Picture the Eastwood residence as a mini-golf haven, where putting practice mats coexist with the daily hustle and bustle of a family with four energetic children. Golf clubs lean against walls, doubling as unconventional coat racks, and the unmistakable sound of golf balls bouncing on hardwood floors occasionally punctuates the air. Allan’s four children, each with their unique personalities and quirks, mirror their father's zest for life. The youngest is often found creating "sand bunkers" with toys in the living room, while the older ones may be caught engaging in friendly putting competitions down the hallway. Allan faces the perilous morning routine as he attempts to navigate through the treacherous kitchen terrain The kitchen of Allans home, typically a place of culinary creations, doubles as Allan's experimental golf laboratory where he uses a spatula as a makeshift golf club, attempting to flip pancakes into a frying pan with the finesse of a putting stroke. The kids cheer him on, knowing that breakfast is as much a performance as it is a meal. Allan’s workspace, the Tee-Time Office, is a blend of professionalism and golf insanity. A desk adorned with golf ball paperweights overlooks a wall covered in framed certificates, each a testament to his achievements in the golf course design world, each certificate having been created and printed by himself, his ego insisting he is rewarded for each course he designs, where the awards come from does not matter. A private sanctuary for Allan and his spouse, the Celtic Retreat is a bedroom adorned with soft hues of greens and blues. A four-poster bed with a quilt featuring Celtic knot patterns takes centre stage. Druidic symbols subtly accent the decor, symbols which to Allan create a powerful druidic magic, magic that he uses to sabotage the efforts of other course designers.
Day 5: Allan returns to the plot of land hoping that the peace and serenity of nature will help him come up with a new plan but something is wrong, there is a disturbance macrocosm, something or someone has upset the land, the breeze through the grass seems to whisper “The others, they are here”. There is a distinct smell in the air, a smell of ego, of arrogance, of distain. Allan knows it can mean just one thing, other designers have been attracted to the land because of it’s potential, like sharks to blood they have come from all over. Three of them approach Allan, and one of them speaks. “Allan Eastwood, leave this place, we are the dream team, combined our courses have hosted more events than all other designers together, combined our intellect create collaboration courses that solo designers can only dream about, combined out finances can outbid any feeble attempt you make to purchase. We are the dream team, and when we combine our bodies and soul, we become mecha kaiju course designer, dream team course designer transform”. Barely had the final words been said when the three designer start to meld and blend and combine to become a giant mechanical course designer. This does not seem to phase Allan, he speaks “ I was born under the rock of Cashal, the blood of Irish kings, and druid queens flow through my veins, I fear no creature be it mechanical or blood for I Allan Eastwood can shapeshift into creatures of Celtic legend, Eastwood transform into Artio” and in a blink of a eye, Allan turns into the druid bear goddess of myth and legend and the battle begun.
Well, in their eyes that is what was happening, to outsiders watching, the saw three old mend climb onto each other shoulders while struggling to keep balance, they stumbled around like a child learning to walk for the first time. They also saw a crazy Irish man drop to his hands and knees and begin to crawl, occasionally raising one arm while making a claw of his fist shouting Grrr,Grrrr. The police are called again, the fear is real.
Day 6: Netflix release Full Contact which is far more interesting that Allan Eastwood fortnight, overnight the viewing figures drop to zero and Allan Eastwood fortnight is cancelled. The cliff hanger ending of the designer battle annoys some but most really could not give a f**k. Both sides claim victory, both sides are completely insane. But we will not end Allan Eastwood fortnight on that note for over the next 2 weeks here on kinetic, we will play courses by the man himself, so this intro covers both weeks, with the 6 nations starting next week, it is my way of not writing a intro in the middle of a rugby weekend. So I hope you enjoy Allan Eastwood fortnight, the courses, not the show, have fun, good luck and who knows, maybe, just maybe you will catch a glimpse of Allan Eastwood being one with nature as you play.
