Colorado Championship@Bayou Aux Carpe
Jun 11, 2023 8:09:29 GMT -5
crushtastic, Giraffe72, and 5 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Jun 11, 2023 8:09:29 GMT -5
This week on Kinetic we head to the deepest darkest swamps of Louisiana(yes I know this weeks event is the Colorado Championship but I got banned from there), a place where no golf course should exist but through the efforts of one scientist who developed a formula to turn swamp land into grass land, allowed the creation of this very golf course, the story behind this course though, has a dark and troubling past. Eric Perego was a loner, shunned by society, he in turn shunned society, after graduating college with a degree in gardening, lawn care and mad science, he moved to The Bayous of Louisiana and built a secret laboratory in the heart of the swamp. It was here that he began his work on turning swamp land into grass so he could create his very own golf course, just for his own personal use, no one else would be allowed play here because if you had been paying attention earlier in the intro, you would have seen that he shunned society. You do know what shunned means right? Anyway, Eric was not alone in the swamp, in college he minored in animal languages, quickly becoming friends with the creature of the swamp, particularly with the alligators , one of whom he kept for a pet which he named Croc( now I think you can see why he was shunned by society) For years he worked hard on his dream on creating The Country Club of Louisiana( having no friends, no one could tell him about the other Country Club of Louisiana). Progress was slow, setbacks abounded but over time, a golf course emerged.
Keeping the course a secret though was soon to become a problem, despite putting up signs such as “Keep Out, nothing to see here, especially not a golf course” and “Danger ball eating alligators who particularly like golf balls “, the locals started to suspect something was up, word soon spread and it was not long before it reached the ears of the powers that be at tgctours, when rumors of just not the golf course but the swampland formula came to the attention of the admins, they decided they wanted both for two reason, one for the golf course, the second was that tgctours used this very swamp to dump the toxic waste generated by the barrel load from the toxic comments on their forums, their discord, from reddit, from anywhere people talked about golf games and they needed the lands to remain it’s dumping grounds. They offered to buy the formula, but Eric said so, they threatened to steal the formula, but Eric said no. The admins felt there was just one solution left, they had to burn the lab and all it’s contents to the ground, they sent their most toxic members to deal with the lab and to deal with Eric, they sent Platinum tour players.
They successfully destroyed the lab, but Eric escaped, he ran into the swamp to hide but unknowingly he hid in The Black lagoon, the very place where tgctours dumped their toxic waste. Eric was doused with waste from a leaking barrel, it covered his skin from head to toe, the toxicity levels were so high that it effected the very fabric of his being, his skin changed, his body changed, his temperament changed, Eric Perego was no more, what came out of the swamp that day was a thing, not a person, a thing that wanted to avenge the wrongs done against him, what emerged was a creature that did not care, what emerged was a HoneyBadgerHacker
For @!$#s sake, a honey badger, after all that build up, after all that writing, it was a honey badger. I was expecting a toxic avenging swamp thing from the black lagoon, and I get a honey badge, how @!$#ing terrifying. Why do I bother, I try to tell a origin story by stealing ideas from others and I get a honey badger, I bet you are all terrified of playing here this week now, dammit, I have to do something to bring some fear to you all, I know, very high winds in round 2 that bring the water into play and if you have a problem with that, blame the honey badger for just not being scary, good luck all and have fun.
Keeping the course a secret though was soon to become a problem, despite putting up signs such as “Keep Out, nothing to see here, especially not a golf course” and “Danger ball eating alligators who particularly like golf balls “, the locals started to suspect something was up, word soon spread and it was not long before it reached the ears of the powers that be at tgctours, when rumors of just not the golf course but the swampland formula came to the attention of the admins, they decided they wanted both for two reason, one for the golf course, the second was that tgctours used this very swamp to dump the toxic waste generated by the barrel load from the toxic comments on their forums, their discord, from reddit, from anywhere people talked about golf games and they needed the lands to remain it’s dumping grounds. They offered to buy the formula, but Eric said so, they threatened to steal the formula, but Eric said no. The admins felt there was just one solution left, they had to burn the lab and all it’s contents to the ground, they sent their most toxic members to deal with the lab and to deal with Eric, they sent Platinum tour players.
They successfully destroyed the lab, but Eric escaped, he ran into the swamp to hide but unknowingly he hid in The Black lagoon, the very place where tgctours dumped their toxic waste. Eric was doused with waste from a leaking barrel, it covered his skin from head to toe, the toxicity levels were so high that it effected the very fabric of his being, his skin changed, his body changed, his temperament changed, Eric Perego was no more, what came out of the swamp that day was a thing, not a person, a thing that wanted to avenge the wrongs done against him, what emerged was a creature that did not care, what emerged was a HoneyBadgerHacker
For @!$#s sake, a honey badger, after all that build up, after all that writing, it was a honey badger. I was expecting a toxic avenging swamp thing from the black lagoon, and I get a honey badge, how @!$#ing terrifying. Why do I bother, I try to tell a origin story by stealing ideas from others and I get a honey badger, I bet you are all terrified of playing here this week now, dammit, I have to do something to bring some fear to you all, I know, very high winds in round 2 that bring the water into play and if you have a problem with that, blame the honey badger for just not being scary, good luck all and have fun.
