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Post by hmammoth on May 21, 2023 8:41:11 GMT -5
So what have we got for you guys this week, lets ah, ah yes this week we head to the Cosa Nostra Canyons by JickinWings, I have to admit, I never knew the Italian mafia made golf courses but it turns out they do. The course name has been shortened to Costra Canyon so not to draw attention to what may or may not go on there but I can confirm the courses full name is Cosa Nostra Canyons. All you need to do is take a look at the designers real name to confirm it's Italian origins, Javier Lopez, is that not the most Italian name you have every heard, it just oozes spaghetti and meatballs in its pronunciation. The course itself is based on the spaghetti westerns from the 70's which of course were all filmed in Italy. So how did the course end up on Kinetic, well I was approached by the associates of Don Lopez and they told me to get in the back of the car quickly and quietly and no harm would come to me. After a trip in which my head was covered with a black hood, I got to meet the Don himself where he told me he has an offer I could not refuse. I did not have to listen to the offer, I just said yes, I had just bought a new racehorse and I wanted the damn thing to race.He said to me "I want ta design a golf course use understand, and i want ta make it my muduh @!$#'n way,I do not want ta awbey da rules, it is my muduh @!$#'n way ar undah da 'ighway" I nodded and said, sure, what ever you like and what is you way may I ask. He replied "Dare will be 6 paw 3 'oles, dare will be paw 5's close ta 700 yawd 5, dare will be extreme elevation, and shots gunnah awvah da cliffs, i want danger, i want feaw, i want people ta sh%$ demselves as dey stand at da tee box, i want awut awv bounds everywhere, i want 'em ta pay far bad shots," Not a problem I said, but people might complain if about the number of par 3 holes. "Send 'em ta me if dey 'ave anything ta say" was his reply. I asked him is that par 5 a bit on the long side. " Send 'em ta me if dey 'ave anything ta say" he shouted. I took down his address in case I have to send any of you to him. What about if we removed the out of bounds, and if people hit their shots over the cliffs, they need to climb down to retrieve their ball, that might be funny. To this he replied with "No, if they do that, they might find the bodies". To this I suggested that we might add more out of bounds just to be on the safe side, he nodded yes, which is why we are playing the tour version of the course with extra out of bounds. I then asked him what would he like to call his golf course. " Mario Golf" he replied, with trepidation, I told him for legal reasons we might not be able to use that name as Nintendo might sue. He exploded with rage " Is use telling me dat someone else 'as named a golf course aftah my muduh @!$#'n uncle mawio, da greatest italian golfah awv awl time. Who did dis with awut da families permission and i will make 'em pay, no awne disrespects da family like dat. My muduh @!$#'n uncle would be turning in 'is grave, if we could find it dat is, at such a slight, blood ma 'ave ta flow". I told him it was the Japanese to which he replied "Ah, da yakuza, we 'ave a peace tready with 'em, i will leave it go, far now, i shall tink awv a new name" which is how the course got it's current name. So we agreed to use his course on the kinetic, there might be a number of no show workers at or not at the course this week, don't worry about them, just try to have fun, try not to complain to much or you could end up sleeping with the fishes. |
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Post by hmammoth on May 21, 2023 8:54:32 GMT -5
On a side note, I want to welcome my fellow Irishman(although not 100 percent convinced on this, that accent sounds fake) justjordannnnn to the Kinetic. Some of you way have watched Jordans early struggles playing on xbox on twitch, then watched him improve with time to finally make his way on to the pro tours. Let this be a lesson for everyone out there that may be struggling at the moment, with the right amount of bribes, blackmail and performance enhancing drugs, you to can be playing courses designed by the mafia on the Kinetic tour, welcome Jordan. |
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Post by JickinWings on May 21, 2023 9:47:03 GMT -5
So what have we got for you guys this week, lets ah, ah yes this week we head to the Cosa Nostra Canyons by JickinWings , I have to admit, I never knew the Italian mafia made golf courses but it turns out they do. The course name has been shortened to Costra Canyon so not to draw attention to what may or may not go on there but I can confirm the courses full name is Cosa Nostra Canyons. All you need to do is take a look at the designers real name to confirm it's Italian origins, Javier Lopez, is that not the most Italian name you have every heard, it just oozes spaghetti and meatballs in its pronunciation. The course itself is based on the spaghetti westerns from the 70's which of course were all filmed in Italy. So how did the course end up on Kinetic, well I was approached by the associates of Don Lopez and they told me to get in the back of the car quickly and quietly and no harm would come to me. After a trip in which my head was covered with a black hood, I got to meet the Don himself where he told me he has an offer I could not refuse. I did not have to listen to the offer, I just said yes, I had just bought a new racehorse and I wanted the damn thing to race.He said to me "I want ta design a golf course use understand, and i want ta make it my muduh @!$#'n way,I do not want ta awbey da rules, it is my muduh @!$#'n way ar undah da 'ighway" I nodded and said, sure, what ever you like and what is you way may I ask. He replied "Dare will be 6 paw 3 'oles, dare will be paw 5's close ta 700 yawd 5, dare will be extreme elevation, and shots gunnah awvah da cliffs, i want danger, i want feaw, i want people ta sh%$ demselves as dey stand at da tee box, i want awut awv bounds everywhere, i want 'em ta pay far bad shots," Not a problem I said, but people might complain if about the number of par 3 holes. "Send 'em ta me if dey 'ave anything ta say" was his reply. I asked him is that par 5 a bit on the long side. " Send 'em ta me if dey 'ave anything ta say" he shouted. I took down his address in case I have to send any of you to him. What about if we removed the out of bounds, and if people hit their shots over the cliffs, they need to climb down to retrieve their ball, that might be funny. To this he replied with "No, if they do that, they might find the bodies". To this I suggested that we might add more out of bounds just to be on the safe side, he nodded yes, which is why we are playing the tour version of the course with extra out of bounds. I then asked him what would he like to call his golf course. " Mario Golf" he replied, with trepidation, I told him for legal reasons we might not be able to use that name as Nintendo might sue. He exploded with rage " Is use telling me dat someone else 'as named a golf course aftah my muduh @!$#'n uncle mawio, da greatest italian golfah awv awl time. Who did dis with awut da families permission and i will make 'em pay, no awne disrespects da family like dat. My muduh @!$#'n uncle would be turning in 'is grave, if we could find it dat is, at such a slight, blood ma 'ave ta flow". I told him it was the Japanese to which he replied "Ah, da yakuza, we 'ave a peace tready with 'em, i will leave it go, far now, i shall tink awv a new name" which is how the course got it's current name. So we agreed to use his course on the kinetic, there might be a number of no show workers at or not at the course this week, don't worry about them, just try to have fun, try not to complain to much or you could end up sleeping with the fishes. This is absolute GOLD hahaha! |
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Post by Demonondalinks on May 22, 2023 4:47:22 GMT -5
Great course JickinWings. Views galore didn't mess with my head. Looking forward to rd 2 tomorrow. |
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Post by justjordannnnn on May 22, 2023 6:39:27 GMT -5
On a side note, I want to welcome my fellow Irishman(although not 100 percent convinced on this, that accent sounds fake) justjordannnnn to the Kinetic. Some of you way have watched Jordans early struggles playing on xbox on twitch, then watched him improve with time to finally make his way on to the pro tours. Let this be a lesson for everyone out there that may be struggling at the moment, with the right amount of bribes, blackmail and performance enhancing drugs, you to can be playing courses designed by the mafia on the Kinetic tour, welcome Jordan. Hahaha thanks hmammoth 😂 we folk in Kildare adopt whatever accent we can when we don’t have one ourselves haha , thanks guys great to be part of the pro tours !! 😀😀 |
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Post by Giraffe72 on May 22, 2023 6:44:45 GMT -5
The Xbox crowd giving hmammoth some much deserved company. Great to see fellow Ryder Cup winner justjordannnnn in the room! Been looking forward to this one. Haven't played it yet but the pics look right up my street. Epic intro Dan, mad as a box of frogs 🐸 🤣 |
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Post by Giraffe72 on May 22, 2023 8:01:17 GMT -5
Great course JickinWings. Views galore didn't mess with my head. Looking forward to rd 2 tomorrow. Just seen your first round score Todd, nice! Looking like getting a #BobWatch mention this week 😎 |
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Post by Demonondalinks on May 22, 2023 8:11:12 GMT -5
Great course JickinWings . Views galore didn't mess with my head. Looking forward to rd 2 tomorrow. Just seen your first round score Todd, nice! Looking like getting a #BobWatch mention this week 😎 Just 1 round Jamie. Thanks. We'll see what happens but I took a liking to this course when I played a feeler round on it Saturday. |
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Post by Demonondalinks on May 22, 2023 20:11:52 GMT -5
Just seen your first round score Todd, nice! Looking like getting a #BobWatch mention this week 😎 Just 1 round Jamie. Thanks. We'll see what happens but I took a liking to this course when I played a feeler round on it Saturday. You did well yourself Jamie! |
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Post by Giraffe72 on May 23, 2023 2:55:46 GMT -5
Had a couple of untidy holes coming home in round 2, but much better this week and a comfortably made cut. Happy with that because it means I get two more meaningful rounds on this stunner of a course. I've always been a sucker for a well done desert course. There aren't many, this is the best one I've seen in the current version of the game. 10/10.
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Post by Giraffe72 on May 24, 2023 3:17:19 GMT -5
Played my final two rounds last night against turn based ghosts around me on the leaderboard and managed to fend them all off. Pretty sure some of the later XB players will go past me though. Pretty solid week, not enough to contend for the win but I think I'll be in the top 20 or so and somewhere around promo mark territory. It's the sort of week that confirms my commitment to this game over EA's offering. I won't get to play a course like this in a tournament like this with EA, it's that simple. That was fun  |
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Post by Demonondalinks on May 26, 2023 5:04:09 GMT -5
Played my final two rounds last night against turn based ghosts around me on the leaderboard and managed to fend them all off. Pretty sure some of the later XB players will go past me though. Pretty solid week, not enough to contend for the win but I think I'll be in the top 20 or so and somewhere around promo mark territory. It's the sort of week that confirms my commitment to this game over EA's offering. I won't get to play a course like this in a tournament like this with EA, it's that simple. That was fun Great final rd Jamie. You are currently tied for 2nd. I really struggled rd 4 but I was -10 on 18 tee. 4 putted 18 Lol think that was a first in 2k23. Two players left that can beat me. One needs -15 and the other was tied with me after 2 rds. He has yet to play rd 3. |
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Post by Giraffe72 on May 26, 2023 5:55:02 GMT -5
Played my final two rounds last night against turn based ghosts around me on the leaderboard and managed to fend them all off. Pretty sure some of the later XB players will go past me though. Pretty solid week, not enough to contend for the win but I think I'll be in the top 20 or so and somewhere around promo mark territory. It's the sort of week that confirms my commitment to this game over EA's offering. I won't get to play a course like this in a tournament like this with EA, it's that simple. That was fun Great final rd Jamie. You are currently tied for 2nd. I really struggled rd 4 but I was -10 on 18 tee. 4 putted 18 Lol think that was a first in 2k23. Two players left that can beat me. One needs -15 and the other was tied with me after 2 rds. He has yet to play rd 3. Ouch, hope that last hole doesn't cost you the win. Realistically it's the guy on -25 thru 2 who's your main threat. I still like your chances. Either way, we'll both be moving up to Elite next week. That's 3 promotions in 7 weeks for me. Have a feeling Elite could be my ceiling but we'll see. I'm sorry to be leaving this tour after only 3 weeks. Keep doing what you're doing hmammoth, it's not only me who appreciates what you do around here. I hope to be back one day. |
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Post by Demonondalinks on May 26, 2023 7:12:42 GMT -5
Great final rd Jamie. You are currently tied for 2nd. I really struggled rd 4 but I was -10 on 18 tee. 4 putted 18 Lol think that was a first in 2k23. Two players left that can beat me. One needs -15 and the other was tied with me after 2 rds. He has yet to play rd 3. Ouch, hope that last hole doesn't cost you the win. Realistically it's the guy on -25 thru 2 who's your main threat. I still like your chances. Either way, we'll both be moving up to Elite next week. That's 3 promotions in 7 weeks for me. Have a feeling Elite could be my ceiling but we'll see. I'm sorry to be leaving this tour after only 3 weeks. Keep doing what you're doing hmammoth , it's not only me who appreciates what you do around here. I hope to be back one day. Happy to move up and I was not expecting as quick a promo to elite. I think elite will be the league I will struggle at times with, which means I will enjoy being there. Hmammoth I enjoyed the two course choices and conditions you chose. The very high wind can only make you a better player IMO. |
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