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Post by InThisStyle on Nov 16, 2021 9:09:06 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, is there going to be a sheet somewhere with each of the match breakdowns/scorecards? Cheers!
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 16, 2021 9:12:22 GMT -5
Just out of curiosity, is there going to be a sheet somewhere with each of the match breakdowns/scorecards? Cheers! Yep but only after each day is complete and reported upon. It'll be here. Individual days presently hidden behind the summary Scoreboard |
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phannigan
Amateur Golfer
Posts: 237
TGCT Name: Patrick Hannigan
Tour: Challenge Circuit
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Post by phannigan on Nov 16, 2021 9:28:13 GMT -5
Great stuff from the press thus far. Let's go Monarchs!!
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Post by inflames47 on Nov 16, 2021 14:00:58 GMT -5
Crazy Great reporting from all.. wow I am blown away  |
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Post by inflames47 on Nov 16, 2021 14:05:21 GMT -5
Taking the lead as first of the reporters to stumble out of the bar, admittedly a bit more than plastered on cheap rum and cheaper hookers, and a bit more than a bit fuzzy in the head. Details of the following match are admittedly a bit more than a bit more than a bit fuzzy in my head, so I cannot be held responsible for any facts and truths that should get misplaced, or for repeating myself admittedly… a bit fuzzy. TL;DR - don't blame me for any of this Daniel "Oramgami" Oram and Leon "Neon" Anderson of the Monarchs taking on the Strikers' own Martin "I Fought the" Law and Paul "Hey Buddy Have Ya Got a" Machen Let's check in with the special guests, the mothers of the players. Mama Oram: "Oh, you know my boy Danny is such a good boy. Never ever leaves his socks on the floor, finishes all of his broccoli, and brushes his teeth after every meal. He's my little angel." Mama Anderson: "He really is! Why my little Leonie just loves your Danny. Why, just the other day, I peeked in on them sharing golf secrets over graham crackers and milk, talking something about tempo.... makes me long for the day that Mr. Anderson still had tempo, if you know what I mean..." <fades off dreamily> Mama Martin: "Did I ever tell you about the time my baby Marty played his first entire round of golf without pooping in his trousers? 22 years old, he was, so proud of himself. He celebrated right after with a bottle of whisky from his Papa's liquor cabinet. I seem to recall his trousers didn't stay clean for long after that... or the floor... the walls... the ceiling..." Mama Machen: "My boy Paul doesn't even call me anymore. I'm so sad that sometimes I resort to using Spoonerisms. Why most of the time, that boy of mine is nothing more than a crazen bunt... I don't even know if I have a son...the little sh...">transmission lost< Well... perhaps this reporter should press off to help Mrs. Anderson out with her "tempo" issues... you can call me Daddy, Leon. Oh yeah... they played some golf. Wasn't even close. Shi>transmission lost< Monarchs over Strikers 6 and 4 Hilarious! Hate when I spew my beer all over my monitor and I am old so pissing my pants in fits of laughter is not uncommon! |
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Post by Harveydog500 on Nov 16, 2021 15:40:45 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 8 Monarchs, Paul Bradford and Dominique Bois versus Strikers Andy Gammons and Mark Buenger
It was a close match between these titans of pixel golf. The heroics and sportsmanship displayed amongst them in their efforts to get through 18 at Darkwater Barrens was simply awe inspiring.
At 2, we saw Andy flex his powerful Aussie muscles for the Strikers by wrestling an 18 ft (4 m) long alligator after it swallowed Mark’s ball as it rolled out of bounds amongst the dead wood. The intensity of body blows that landed on that gator’s stomach was unbelievably powerful—causing Mark’s ball to erupt from the gator’s jaws on the leading edge of a tremendous vomit-comet that carried the ball hundreds of yards to land just a few feet from the green. Incredible!
The Monarchs, too, had their share of the action as Paul’s sand wedge was broken during a rare and dangerous encounter with Sasquatch just behind the tee box at 11. It was fortunate for Paul that Dominque was well-versed in the ways of cryptozoology as he knew that the Sasquatch (also known in France as the Quatch du Sas) is spooked by high-pitched squealing. At his direction, Paul started wailing like a banshee. This startled the Sasquatch, who had already picked Paul up-- attempting to throttle him. Dominique quickly grabbed Paul’s 294 yarder. “No, Dom, not the driver!!!” Dropping the club, Dominique garnered the sand wedge, clobbering the big hairy dude over the head. With Sasquatch dispensed and the sand wedge in two pieces, the match resumed.
Just before it was all over, Mark provided a few heartfelt choruses of “Putting Queen”. I can tell you there was not a dry eye to be seen.
Strikers over Monarchs 2 Up
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 16, 2021 16:20:16 GMT -5
Day 1 Match 9This one didn't interest the Press Corps in the slightest as they sneaked off to the bar to fill their hip flasks and have a bit of afternoon delight supplied by the Strikers Captain of Vice, Sam Riotous who was pleased he'd laid on his best hookers for the Corps as it meant they weren't holding the back page for this one. More like Miami Vice from the two P's thetaffman and phannigan as they went full Crockett & Tubbs on the hapless two S's Riotous and SAM who were rueing Sam's decision to send off his best girls to the Press when they needed a bit of a lift. Keep yer Peckers up lads. Long way to go. Press Corps, get out of the bar and get on the job!! Monarchs win 3 & 2
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Post by asyoudo64 on Nov 16, 2021 16:42:10 GMT -5
Cyder Cup IV
Day One Match 2
Monarchs (Bombadier InThisStyle /Wildridge hoosierhoops24 ) vs Strikers (Hansford jhandz92 /Brantford TimB ) Today's match features relative newcomers to The Cyder Cup with one player, Wildridge, having experienced the pageantry before. While Bombardier is used to tournament gawlf, being paired with Wildridge will be a daunting challenge. Wildridge, when not gawlfing of fixing folks vision impairments, is the lead singer of Wedgefoot, the official music provider (chart topper "My Life is a Sham" among their hits) for TBC and sketchy coffee houses everywhere. His groupies are rabid and relentless, as long as they get back in time for the early bird special at Denny’s. Hansford, decorated military background, and Brantford, former decorator for Aerosmith’s touring trailer, have set some sound strategy to try and offset the Wedgies (the groupies love being called this). Both will be wearing noise cancelling headphones and their caddies are equipped with water cannons. The match started very well for the Monarchs, going 3 up thru 5 thanks in large to Jeff’s iron play and Lucas around the greens. When Lucas chipped in for eagle on the 5th the blue haired Wedgies erupted in a celebration not seen since Jeff took off his shirt in a performance at Caribou Coffee in Tuscaloosa. This seemed to unnerve the Monarchs while giving the Ford Bros a chance to take a few holes. The match made the turn 1 up Monarchs, but despite Wedgefoot-mania losing control the tide had shifted towards the Strikers. It is no wonder that Jeff and Lucas lost five straight holes to go dormie on the 15th, who can play solid gawlf when this throng of groupies kept tossing panties at you (maybe bloomers is a more apt term). By the time the course marshals had the Wedgies reeled in the match was over when all four players parred 15. Monarch Captain Ashton Fox was overheard trying to file a protest, but Cyder Cup commissioner Mike Gidontknowhowtospellorpronoucehisname katana22 said you cannot lodge a protest when the interference was generated by YOUR fans. Strikers win 4 & 3.
Definitely saw some Strikers offloading some soiled undergarments on the back nine. Never mind, the Monarchs will rise from the ground. Bigger and more beautiful than ever.  |
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Post by asyoudo64 on Nov 16, 2021 16:48:30 GMT -5
Taking the lead as first of the reporters to stumble out of the bar, admittedly a bit more than plastered on cheap rum and cheaper hookers, and a bit more than a bit fuzzy in the head. Details of the following match are admittedly a bit more than a bit more than a bit fuzzy in my head, so I cannot be held responsible for any facts and truths that should get misplaced, or for repeating myself admittedly… a bit fuzzy. TL;DR - don't blame me for any of this Daniel "Oramgami" Oram and Leon "Neon" Anderson of the Monarchs taking on the Strikers' own Martin "I Fought the" Law and Paul "Hey Buddy Have Ya Got a" Machen Let's check in with the special guests, the mothers of the players. Mama Oram: "Oh, you know my boy Danny is such a good boy. Never ever leaves his socks on the floor, finishes all of his broccoli, and brushes his teeth after every meal. He's my little angel." Mama Anderson: "He really is! Why my little Leonie just loves your Danny. Why, just the other day, I peeked in on them sharing golf secrets over graham crackers and milk, talking something about tempo.... makes me long for the day that Mr. Anderson still had tempo, if you know what I mean..." <fades off dreamily> Mama Martin: "Did I ever tell you about the time my baby Marty played his first entire round of golf without pooping in his trousers? 22 years old, he was, so proud of himself. He celebrated right after with a bottle of whisky from his Papa's liquor cabinet. I seem to recall his trousers didn't stay clean for long after that... or the floor... the walls... the ceiling..." Mama Machen: "My boy Paul doesn't even call me anymore. I'm so sad that sometimes I resort to using Spoonerisms. Why most of the time, that boy of mine is nothing more than a crazen bunt... I don't even know if I have a son...the little sh...">transmission lost< Well... perhaps this reporter should press off to help Mrs. Anderson out with her "tempo" issues... you can call me Daddy, Leon. Oh yeah... they played some golf. Wasn't even close. Shi>transmission lost< Monarchs over Strikers 6 and 4 Hilarious! Hate when I spew my beer all over my monitor and I am old so pissing my pants in fits of laughter is not uncommon! Agree with my fearless VC, mainly because we have to or we get a sound beating 😉🤣. Press reports have been phenomenal. Keep up the great work. Go Monarchs. |
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Post by IGolfBad on Nov 16, 2021 17:21:00 GMT -5
Cyder Cup Day 1 Match 4Wherein the newish and newer Doe “DocaCola” Coba and Randy “The Zookeeper” Zubowicz, representing the Monarchs, face off against the Strikers’ veteran corps(e) of Ben “Let’s Get” Tough and Ernie “Turn The” Copage. Let have a look… Newish Doe and newer Randy Z arrived at the first tee, quite puzzled, as there was no clear sign of either Ben or Ernie. “Doughy?” quizzed Randy, “do you suppose we’ve been ghosted?”
Doe shrugged, looked at his Tag Heuer watch he claims to have won in a match with pre-crippling leg damaged Tiger Woods, wondering if they were early for the tee time, and stated “Who knows? It’s 8 in the morning on the dot, and that’s what we had agreed upon.” Little did either of them know that Doe’s Tag Heuer was in fact a Tog Howard, which runs on solar power, and we all know how much sun Denmark gets on an average day (not much as it turns out), and Doe’s watch is stuck at 8:00 no matter the time. “Yep! 8 in the morning! On the dot! Never been surer!”
Without regard for the actual time, Doe and Randy set off on their rounds, having not seen hide nor hair of the opposition. Without Ben and Ernie on the horizon, they felt the round would go by rather quickly, so they proceeded as a two-some.
Things were looking good for the Monarchs as Doe birdied the first two holes, followed by a spectacular eagle putt on 3 for Randy, who was clearly outplaying his “establishing rounds” during the final stages of the Brew Crew Season 7. Doe birdied the 4th, then followed up with an eagle of his own on 5, giving the Monarchs a very impressive 5-up lead at this point.
Looking again at his Tog Howard, Doe commented that it was indeed 8 o’clock in the morning, on the dot, and wondered if they should set off to locate Ben and Ernie. In agreement, the two backtracked their way to the clubhouse, without success. Deciding to give the Strikers a bit more time, the Men of Monarch shared a couple pints along with some eggs and hash, then set out to try the back nine, hoping to locate their worthy opponents, and continue the match.
Randy lit up: “I have a grand idea! What if the boys are already out on the course, and they’re ahead of us?” Doe was impressed. “Capital idea, old sport! I don’t see them out on 10, so let’s run along to the 11th and maybe we’ll find them there.” But to no avail, as Ben and Ernie were nowhere to be found. Out of boredom and mild fatigue from running with clubs on their backs, Randy and Doe played #11, with Doe once again taking birdie. Thinking they should keep moving forward in hopes of catching the other half of their foursome, off they went, full trot.
And as certain as your uncle is Bob, the two pairs finally met, on hole #14. “Where ya been, blokes? You bloody missed the 8 o’clock tee time!” cried Ben. Doe quickly interjected, “why it’s 8 o’clock on the dot right now! Right on the dot! Look!” Doe showed his watch to Ben, who shook his head, sighed, sighed again, and chuckled. “You dolt… that’s a Tog Howard watch. Worthless as shoes on Tiger Woods!” (Editor’s note: we the press corps cannot be held responsible for the lack of cultural awareness on display by Ben Tough. He’s a complete and utter lout.)
“So what happened to you guys?” asked Randy. “Why didn’t we come upon you earlier? Did you play the course in reverse order or something?” Ernie stepped up. “I’ll handle this one. Funny story, that… See, when we arrived at the bar, Bogeyman Pete wanted to show us something down in his cellar, something about a blue door and a green door…”
Monarchs over Strikers 6 and 5
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 16, 2021 18:13:44 GMT -5
Some idiot (me) keeps forgetting to make the spreadsheet live again after working on it.  |
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Post by asyoudo64 on Nov 17, 2021 1:41:21 GMT -5
Some idiot (me) keeps forgetting to make the spreadsheet live again after working on it. Good luck to you and Sam in Round 2. With Captain Ashton on my team, you'll need it. |
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Post by inflames47 on Nov 17, 2021 2:37:46 GMT -5
Some idiot (me) keeps forgetting to make the spreadsheet live again after working on it. I keep checking for it to come alive |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 17, 2021 2:56:44 GMT -5
Some idiot (me) keeps forgetting to make the spreadsheet live again after working on it. I keep checking for it to come alive It'll be up soon. Lots to enter! |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Nov 17, 2021 3:02:51 GMT -5
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