Forum Defenders Conduct - A Plea to the Members of TGCT
Apr 3, 2015 22:23:21 GMT -5
Doyley, coruler2, and 8 more like this
Post by bentfivewood on Apr 3, 2015 22:23:21 GMT -5
I'm not one for melodrama, unless I'm playing TGC or real golf (then I'm a bit of a complainer/ moaner), but I would like to make a serious plea to all members.
This is an internet forum and, despite being based around the video game version of golf (a very gentlemanly game), we are not immune from having the cross-section of characters that you would see in any other forum. Unfortunately, that means that there will be members who engage in rude, unsavory, or downright offensive behaviours from time to time. I have seen it in our forums a number of times, though not nearly as frequently as forums for other games I've perused in the past.
When bad behaviour occurs here, I usually see a variety of responses from other members; neutral statements intended to provide information about forum conduct, attempts to ease tensions, backhanded comments and, unfortunately, behaviour that exactly matches or even exceeds the unwanted behaviour of the person they are addressing. I have a simple request to make about the last type of response I mentioned; please don't do it.
First of all, let me say that I completely understand where the motivation to respond in that way comes from. It's from a sense of loyalty, appreciation, and fondness for TGCTours, and the work that the admin team puts in to making this tour so enjoyable while keeping it free of charge. Knowing that there are people here that would "go to bat" for us in such a situation really gives the team a warm fuzzy feeling (probably, I don't want to speak for the other guys' warm fuzzies), and the sentiment is appreciated every time. However, if we are going to ask members to refrain from using rudeness, sarcasm, threats, profanity, and so on, as swords, we cannot allow other members to use those same behaviours as shields either.
There is a short list of ways I'd like for people to start responding to other members' questionable behaviours. They are as follows:
1. When you see it happening from a new member (most likely indicated by 2 or fewer total posts) you can simply say something like "Hey, we're different from other forums. Ask a question calmly and respectfully and you are likely to get a polite and honest answer."
2. When you see it from an established member, stay calm and say to yourself WWDD. This stands for What Would Doyley Do? Take a look around at his posts. He understands that people get frustrated and ask questions in objectionable ways but he nonetheless tries to be open, honest, and respectful in his responses. Does it mean he's never banned anyone for violating our forum rules? Absolutely not. He does it when he has to. You know what a yappy dog says when another dog finally starts yapping back? He says "See, I told you that dog was a jerk." If people come in to this forum expecting a fight and get a fight, then it becomes just like every other gaming forum on the internet. We'd like to strive to be different from that. Wouldn't we? We'd like for the guys expecting a fight to go away from their experience only frustrated that they didn't get a fight or, even better, thinking to themselves "Man, that's was pleasantly unexpected."
3. If you are the victim of said objectionable behaviour, or witness it, we only ask that you report it to us. Allow the behaviour to stand on it's own and be evaluated and judged by TGCTours administration. Don't goad the person into further objectionable behaviours or put yourself at risk of a temporary ban from the forums. Just let it fizzle. That is the single best response because once tensions are raised, reason hops into trunk while anger and animosity drive around for a while and look to pick up more passengers. Nobody is getting one over on us and we can certainly hold our own as team. Personally, I am the youngest of 6 kids, with 4 older brothers. I have also worked with individuals with traumatic brain injuries who yelled at me every 5 minutes for the entire length of my shift and tried to beat me up during the time in between, but I still ended each shift giving them a fist bump and a smile. I know I can handle pretty much everything that gets thrown at me.
4. If you see someone who means well responding to offensive behaviour with equally (or worse) offensive behaviour, please refer them to this post via private message. And if it continues, report that behaviour to TGCTours as well and trust that we will deal with it in our way.
We would like for the excitement of this forum to come solely from the competitions that we hold, the features that we provide, and an overall spirit of camaraderie. We also greatly appreciate the 99% of membership that works to make this forum a fun, competitive, and respectful place to hang out.
Thank you,
Scott (the other one)
This is an internet forum and, despite being based around the video game version of golf (a very gentlemanly game), we are not immune from having the cross-section of characters that you would see in any other forum. Unfortunately, that means that there will be members who engage in rude, unsavory, or downright offensive behaviours from time to time. I have seen it in our forums a number of times, though not nearly as frequently as forums for other games I've perused in the past.
When bad behaviour occurs here, I usually see a variety of responses from other members; neutral statements intended to provide information about forum conduct, attempts to ease tensions, backhanded comments and, unfortunately, behaviour that exactly matches or even exceeds the unwanted behaviour of the person they are addressing. I have a simple request to make about the last type of response I mentioned; please don't do it.
First of all, let me say that I completely understand where the motivation to respond in that way comes from. It's from a sense of loyalty, appreciation, and fondness for TGCTours, and the work that the admin team puts in to making this tour so enjoyable while keeping it free of charge. Knowing that there are people here that would "go to bat" for us in such a situation really gives the team a warm fuzzy feeling (probably, I don't want to speak for the other guys' warm fuzzies), and the sentiment is appreciated every time. However, if we are going to ask members to refrain from using rudeness, sarcasm, threats, profanity, and so on, as swords, we cannot allow other members to use those same behaviours as shields either.
There is a short list of ways I'd like for people to start responding to other members' questionable behaviours. They are as follows:
1. When you see it happening from a new member (most likely indicated by 2 or fewer total posts) you can simply say something like "Hey, we're different from other forums. Ask a question calmly and respectfully and you are likely to get a polite and honest answer."
2. When you see it from an established member, stay calm and say to yourself WWDD. This stands for What Would Doyley Do? Take a look around at his posts. He understands that people get frustrated and ask questions in objectionable ways but he nonetheless tries to be open, honest, and respectful in his responses. Does it mean he's never banned anyone for violating our forum rules? Absolutely not. He does it when he has to. You know what a yappy dog says when another dog finally starts yapping back? He says "See, I told you that dog was a jerk." If people come in to this forum expecting a fight and get a fight, then it becomes just like every other gaming forum on the internet. We'd like to strive to be different from that. Wouldn't we? We'd like for the guys expecting a fight to go away from their experience only frustrated that they didn't get a fight or, even better, thinking to themselves "Man, that's was pleasantly unexpected."
3. If you are the victim of said objectionable behaviour, or witness it, we only ask that you report it to us. Allow the behaviour to stand on it's own and be evaluated and judged by TGCTours administration. Don't goad the person into further objectionable behaviours or put yourself at risk of a temporary ban from the forums. Just let it fizzle. That is the single best response because once tensions are raised, reason hops into trunk while anger and animosity drive around for a while and look to pick up more passengers. Nobody is getting one over on us and we can certainly hold our own as team. Personally, I am the youngest of 6 kids, with 4 older brothers. I have also worked with individuals with traumatic brain injuries who yelled at me every 5 minutes for the entire length of my shift and tried to beat me up during the time in between, but I still ended each shift giving them a fist bump and a smile. I know I can handle pretty much everything that gets thrown at me.
4. If you see someone who means well responding to offensive behaviour with equally (or worse) offensive behaviour, please refer them to this post via private message. And if it continues, report that behaviour to TGCTours as well and trust that we will deal with it in our way.
We would like for the excitement of this forum to come solely from the competitions that we hold, the features that we provide, and an overall spirit of camaraderie. We also greatly appreciate the 99% of membership that works to make this forum a fun, competitive, and respectful place to hang out.
Thank you,
Scott (the other one)
