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Post by linkslover on Dec 6, 2019 13:28:29 GMT -5
I thought I'd start a thread where you can share anything funny you've heard a child say, whether it's your own child or somebody else's.
Here's the first one with my daughter, no doubt I'm going to have loads more. It happened last week.
Me: How are you my angel?
My daughter: My tummy hurts a little bit Daddy...
We talk a little more, about a minute later...
Me: How was school today?
Daughter: I can't tell you in case it makes my tummy hurt.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2019 12:00:23 GMT -5
I moved to America from England in 03. The other year my nephew asked “When are you going to start speaking English?”
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Post by SweetTeeBag on Dec 8, 2019 16:46:27 GMT -5
Yeah I remember when SlimPat used to come on the forums and say he was best in the world...  |
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Post by stoneysooner on Dec 9, 2019 12:31:39 GMT -5
I'll bite.
ME: What is that mermaid Barbie's name?
4-YEAR-OLD NEICE: This is Marshmallow Muffin Toothbrush, and her friend is Mermaid Jell.
ME: Well Marshmallow Muffin Toothpaste seems like a nice mermaid.
4-YEAR-OLD NEICE: Her last name is Toothbrush!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2019 17:05:09 GMT -5
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Post by linkslover on Dec 16, 2019 2:43:45 GMT -5
Another one courtesy of my 4 year old daughter on Saturday. It was my birthday a couple of weekends ago and we had just opened her advent calendar for the 14th.
DAUGHTER: You're 42 now aren't you Daddy?
ME: Yes I am.
DAUGHTER: That's really old... you can't have any toys for Christmas.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 21:59:04 GMT -5
Xmas has gotten more interesting having a 6 and 11 year old boys. I know the 11 year old has it figured out but he has not played his hand.
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Post by linkslover on Dec 17, 2019 2:44:46 GMT -5
I kind of know what he's thinking. I'm 7 years older than my brother so when I had figured it out, I had to keep it quiet!
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Post by linkslover on Feb 3, 2020 7:55:44 GMT -5
My daughter was at it again last night, this time during bath time. We had been talking about my hair being dark (my daughter says it's black but it's not that dark, more like a very dark brown).
DAUGHTER: What about if your face was black Daddy?
I immediately feared where this was going to go and was frantically trying to prepare myself for whatever she might say next.
ME: Why?
DAUGHTER: You'd be burned. Daddy, I don't want you to die.
Relief tinged with laughter and reassurance to my daughter that Daddy's face is not going to get burned and I'm not going to die (yet anyway).
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Post by 15eicheltower9 on Feb 9, 2020 20:28:15 GMT -5
More of a funny situation. I've shared this before but I was driving once and someone cut me off or did something stupid in front of me....
Me: What the F***
My 18 month old: Quack, quack
Me: Stupid auto-correct
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Post by coruler2 on Feb 11, 2020 15:42:00 GMT -5
At the dinner table last year practicing spelling words for my 8-yr old
My wife: And how do you spell whale?
Matt (8yr old): W-h-a-l-e
My wife: And how do you spell fail?
Matt: D-a-l-e
Everyone else laughed and laughed
Matt: Roasted you Dad.
His love of roasting me has continued to this day.
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Post by linkslover on Feb 24, 2020 8:06:50 GMT -5
We had half term holidays last week. One morning while waiting for the wife to get up, my daughter had found a tape measure in the conservatory we are building and was enjoying measuring things in the kitchen.
DAUGHTER: Daddy, I want to measure you.
ME: OK.
DAUGHTER: You're too tall.
ME: I'll lie on the floor then.
I lie on the floor, my daughter measures me. Remarkably, she is within two inches. Or so I initially thought...
DAUGHTER: 70
ME: That's tall.
DAUGHTER: 70 miles.
ME: Wow, I'm a giant.
DAUGHTER: You have to be 100 to be a giant.
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Post by lessthanbread on Feb 27, 2020 13:00:00 GMT -5
I got one that I actually said when I was a kid. This gets brought up every so often at family gatherings so I'm telling it from that perspective since I don't remember it:
After President Richard Nixon died my mom had his funeral on TV and was explaining what was going on to me and apparently the conversation went something like this:
Me: But Mom, where is he???
Mom: He's in there (pointing when his casket was on screen).
Me: He's in that box???
Mom: Yep that's where he is.
Me: Nick in a box!
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Post by linkslover on Mar 2, 2020 7:32:46 GMT -5
Not funny as such, but this made me chuckle... My daughter was at her weekly football (soccer) session where she is the only girl in the 4-5 year old age group. COACH: Who is fast? BOY RAISED HIS HAND: I'm fast. As quick as a flash my daughter responded. DAUGHTER: Not as fast as me. That's my girl.  |
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Post by linkslover on Mar 3, 2020 8:10:31 GMT -5
Another from my daughter on Sunday evening. We're just finishing off building our conservatory. I finished grouting the tiles late Sunday afternoon but that did mean our dog couldn't go in the back garden to have a wonder around or do her toilet. She had to go out in the much smaller front garden on her lead. While I was at the end, she hadn't asked to go out and done a wee in the kitchen. Wife understandably gave the dog both barrels. I took my daughter up to get her ready for bed. She was ready so we called up my wife... WIFE: Do you know the dog has weed again? ME: No. WIFE: It's right at the bottom of the stairs. ME: It wasn't when we came up. We would have both walked in it. DAUGHTER: Bloody hell. That dog. The wife and I pissed ourselves laughing. Our 4 year old not only coming out with bloody hell, but how she said it.  |
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