LECOM Health Challenge@Big Pine Valley GC (Tour)
Jun 30, 2019 5:21:40 GMT -5
dh-nufc, cephyn, and 2 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Jun 30, 2019 5:21:40 GMT -5
With summer upon us, I adjourned from the schedulers mansion to spend a little time on schedulers island. As I was having breakfast on the balcony overlooking our private beach, I decided to to go through the forums, catching up on some of the threads I have missed and I came across one saying vladthemert is the nicest person on tgctours. I nearly choked on my gold dusted cornflakes. First, everyone knows that I am the nicest person on tgctours but this post is not about me, secondly, how can someone called Vlad be even considered nice. Look at all the Vlads through history, Vladimir Putin, Vladimir Dracula, the count from Sesame Street whose first name I assume is Vladimir. Now I hear you asking, how can the count be bad, well imagine this, your three years old, you just had a tough day at preschool and all you want to do is relax in front of the tv with a ice cold juice box, watch some mindless kids show to forget the day past and to avoid thinking about the days ahead. Your mother puts on Sesame Street and the count appears and forces you to lean mathematics,pure evil.
Vlad may have everyone else fooled, my attempts to explain his true nature just fell on deaf ears, so I thought to myself, how can I make others see his true nature. It then hit me, if I put one of his courses on tour, people can see for themselves, how evil he really is. I called Vlad and asked him could I use Pine Valley on tour. His reply was pretty much what I expected, with comments like, “ it’s about damn time” and “ how the hell do these inferior designers get multiple courses on tour and my courses are ignored” and “ the web.com, the not good enough to play on the real tours tour, I suppose it will do”. I asked him him about settings he would like to use, “ max speed, max firmness and very high winds for all four rounds, let the webbers suffer”. I explained to him that that was not possible and totally unfair, his reply “ screw them”. In the end, I got around him but convincing him, that settings and conditions are beneath a designer such as himself, playing up to his ego was the only way I could take over, and while I want you all to see Vlads true nature, and using his settings would accomplish that, I am such a nice go, I can’t make you suffer that. The course was ready to go, it was added to the schedule and I got caught out by Vlads devious nature. He called, and asked was it ok if he made one or two small changes to the course, make a special tour version of the course he was all super and spice and I fell for it. The 18th, a par five,a easy birdie hole, he changed it to a par 4, nicest guy on tour my ass.
A couple of interesting facts about Pine Valley. During a environmental impact study on the land before the course was built, it was discovered that the land was the last remaining home for the Albino Five Toed Fox, the report disappeared, as did the fox. The course was built by workers in the country illegally, who were forced to work 20 hours a day for less than minimum wage, all who were to frightened to report this the the correct authorities. The course was rejected from the US Open design contest after mysterious phone calls were made to the judges, offering them cash to in exchange for votes. The source of these calls were never traced.
Anyway, good luck all, have fun out there, if you can!!
Vlad may have everyone else fooled, my attempts to explain his true nature just fell on deaf ears, so I thought to myself, how can I make others see his true nature. It then hit me, if I put one of his courses on tour, people can see for themselves, how evil he really is. I called Vlad and asked him could I use Pine Valley on tour. His reply was pretty much what I expected, with comments like, “ it’s about damn time” and “ how the hell do these inferior designers get multiple courses on tour and my courses are ignored” and “ the web.com, the not good enough to play on the real tours tour, I suppose it will do”. I asked him him about settings he would like to use, “ max speed, max firmness and very high winds for all four rounds, let the webbers suffer”. I explained to him that that was not possible and totally unfair, his reply “ screw them”. In the end, I got around him but convincing him, that settings and conditions are beneath a designer such as himself, playing up to his ego was the only way I could take over, and while I want you all to see Vlads true nature, and using his settings would accomplish that, I am such a nice go, I can’t make you suffer that. The course was ready to go, it was added to the schedule and I got caught out by Vlads devious nature. He called, and asked was it ok if he made one or two small changes to the course, make a special tour version of the course he was all super and spice and I fell for it. The 18th, a par five,a easy birdie hole, he changed it to a par 4, nicest guy on tour my ass.
A couple of interesting facts about Pine Valley. During a environmental impact study on the land before the course was built, it was discovered that the land was the last remaining home for the Albino Five Toed Fox, the report disappeared, as did the fox. The course was built by workers in the country illegally, who were forced to work 20 hours a day for less than minimum wage, all who were to frightened to report this the the correct authorities. The course was rejected from the US Open design contest after mysterious phone calls were made to the judges, offering them cash to in exchange for votes. The source of these calls were never traced.
Anyway, good luck all, have fun out there, if you can!!