CC-B: TaxSlayer Spring Shootout @ Fossmill GC(spoilers)
Feb 20, 2016 21:26:42 GMT -5
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Post by Harry Hates Golf on Feb 20, 2016 21:26:42 GMT -5
I'm really too drunk and miserable at this moment to write much regarding all of this muck. I only ended up with -11 under par for the tour, my last round being the sheetiest (notice I did not actually use a cuss word....no need for the Word Police, or SJWs, or hypersensitive hounds to take down my post). I am planning to detonate a nuclear device at Fossmill once my head is a little more clear (at least I will in my dreams since I know Fossmill isn't real....right?....I mean, there isn't really a place like Fossmill, is there?....).
I will also uninstall my Golf Club game when I sober. Furthermore, I will sell my PS4 on Craigslist, risking my life to do so. I'm bad at most of my games (I only have a few), but the Golf Club seems to be made of heroin, for my addiction to it is intense. Stroke Play was bad enough, but I really dug my grave when I joined TGC Tours. The stress is unbearable, and the cost of low-dose aspirin has gone up. I'm not going to complain about the cost of liquor since I'd buy that no matter how much it costs. I am attributing my crappy putting performance to my general poor eyesight. Too many years of burning my retinas with the fumes of cheap embalming fluid has blurred them beyond repair. Most optometrists refuse to see me (no pun intended).
"Sorry Harry, you're a lost cause. Please go away now"
I will also uninstall my Golf Club game when I sober. Furthermore, I will sell my PS4 on Craigslist, risking my life to do so. I'm bad at most of my games (I only have a few), but the Golf Club seems to be made of heroin, for my addiction to it is intense. Stroke Play was bad enough, but I really dug my grave when I joined TGC Tours. The stress is unbearable, and the cost of low-dose aspirin has gone up. I'm not going to complain about the cost of liquor since I'd buy that no matter how much it costs. I am attributing my crappy putting performance to my general poor eyesight. Too many years of burning my retinas with the fumes of cheap embalming fluid has blurred them beyond repair. Most optometrists refuse to see me (no pun intended).
"Sorry Harry, you're a lost cause. Please go away now"
I did have a highlight reel moment, though. On the last round, I shot a hole-in-one on Hole #6. That felt pretty nice, at least until I did the two double bogeys afterwards. The Golfing Gremlins must have saw me smiling and said, "Oh no, bucko. We'll have none of that!"
"Is that a smile I see, Mr. Cooper?"
"Is that a smile I see, Mr. Cooper?"
-11 under par. Such a sad state of affairs. It's not giving up. It's just knowing when you had enough. Well, at least I went out there and hack at the weed, dammit. I did that much. I looked at Fossmill dead in the eye and shouted "Bring it!". A few years from now, when the Illuminati start herding us into FEMA camps, none of you will see me trembling in fear. Do you want to know why? Because I've seen Fossmill.
Harry drops off a gift to Fossmill Golf Course
Harry drops off a gift to Fossmill Golf Course
Sleep is a good thing. There is peace in the darkness. And so, my friends, remember....
"....Pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past dead
"....Just need some place where I can lay my head
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, "no" was all he said"