Suncoast Classic@Inverloch Pier
Jan 21, 2024 10:38:58 GMT -5
SkyBlueBen, Harveydog500, and 1 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Jan 21, 2024 10:38:58 GMT -5
This week we have a designer jbert220 making his kinetic tour debut, maybe even his tour debut. It's always exciting to use a course from a designer that has not appeared here on Kinetic before. Inverloch is a very Scottish sounding name but when I first made contact with Joel, he first words to me were G'day, a term I know very well from speaking to my Australian niece and nephews. This sent shivers down my spine, I had heard rumors but always just wrote them off as old wives tales but is it actually possible that the Scottish and Australians have mated and created that creature from myth and legend The Scotralian.
There has been stories about The Scotralian ever since people discovered that Australia was actually a real country and not a made up place used to scare Irish children into behaving properly. Everyone knows someone whose second cousin sisters boyfriend sons best friend that claims to have seen one but has never actually seen themselves. The descriptions tend to be the same, sun bleached blonde mullet style hair, dark red freckles which are in fact a environmental protection mutation that allows the creature to survive in different climate conditions. In cold weather, the freckles which cover the entire body glow red, bringing heat to the creature keeping him warm during the winder. In warmer weather, the freckles combine, giving the creature a perfect all over body tan, protecting it from the sun's harmful rays. They are usually wearing a blue or white singlet with a Akubra hat for a head covering, on the lower body, the wear speedos covered a quick fasten kilt which allows from quick removal when they are near water or members of the opposite sex. On their feet, flip flops and depending on the weather, heavy woolen socks.
The diet of The Scotralian is a interesting combination of cultures and lifestyles. Deep-fried Vegemite Toast is a beloved breakfast snack from all Scotralians, a food to help them get up early around noon to start their day, from a more substantial breakfast Tim Tam porridge is eaten from that warm chocolaty taste. For dinner, witchetty grubs fried of course then sown into a sheeps stomach and then fried again before being served with cans of Iron-Bru. Scotralians do not eat supper because night time is for the consumption of whisky and beer.
People that claim to have met a Scotralian have said that there was great difficulty communicating with them, a thick strong accent that is near impossible to understand combined with some sort of language that makes no sense gives the impression that The Scotralian is always drunk. I have received a audio recording that allegedly from a real live Scotralian which I will transcribe here in the off chance you met a Scotralian on the course this week, maybe you can try these words and see if you get some sort of reaction. "Och yer a wee bawbag" "Yer bum's oot the windae" "Chuck a u-ey ya drongo" . Be careful though, as the reaction might be a punch in the face, as the Scotralian is reported to love a good scrap.
So guys, be care out there this week. If this weeks designer does happen to be a Scotralian, he might turn up to watch some golf, and if he brings friends or family along, disagreement could lead to friendly punch ups. Not much more for me to say, outside of good luck and have fun.
There has been stories about The Scotralian ever since people discovered that Australia was actually a real country and not a made up place used to scare Irish children into behaving properly. Everyone knows someone whose second cousin sisters boyfriend sons best friend that claims to have seen one but has never actually seen themselves. The descriptions tend to be the same, sun bleached blonde mullet style hair, dark red freckles which are in fact a environmental protection mutation that allows the creature to survive in different climate conditions. In cold weather, the freckles which cover the entire body glow red, bringing heat to the creature keeping him warm during the winder. In warmer weather, the freckles combine, giving the creature a perfect all over body tan, protecting it from the sun's harmful rays. They are usually wearing a blue or white singlet with a Akubra hat for a head covering, on the lower body, the wear speedos covered a quick fasten kilt which allows from quick removal when they are near water or members of the opposite sex. On their feet, flip flops and depending on the weather, heavy woolen socks.
The diet of The Scotralian is a interesting combination of cultures and lifestyles. Deep-fried Vegemite Toast is a beloved breakfast snack from all Scotralians, a food to help them get up early around noon to start their day, from a more substantial breakfast Tim Tam porridge is eaten from that warm chocolaty taste. For dinner, witchetty grubs fried of course then sown into a sheeps stomach and then fried again before being served with cans of Iron-Bru. Scotralians do not eat supper because night time is for the consumption of whisky and beer.
People that claim to have met a Scotralian have said that there was great difficulty communicating with them, a thick strong accent that is near impossible to understand combined with some sort of language that makes no sense gives the impression that The Scotralian is always drunk. I have received a audio recording that allegedly from a real live Scotralian which I will transcribe here in the off chance you met a Scotralian on the course this week, maybe you can try these words and see if you get some sort of reaction. "Och yer a wee bawbag" "Yer bum's oot the windae" "Chuck a u-ey ya drongo" . Be careful though, as the reaction might be a punch in the face, as the Scotralian is reported to love a good scrap.
So guys, be care out there this week. If this weeks designer does happen to be a Scotralian, he might turn up to watch some golf, and if he brings friends or family along, disagreement could lead to friendly punch ups. Not much more for me to say, outside of good luck and have fun.
