New England Invitational@Launderette
Oct 2, 2021 9:05:12 GMT -5
Energ1ser, flyingj75, and 5 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Oct 2, 2021 9:05:12 GMT -5
This week, you are are playing in lederhosen, no that does not sound right, unless that is you thing of course, who am I to judge, I don't give a damn what outfit your wear. Anyway, let me check my notes, ok, this week you are playing at Lauterbrunnen by Energ1ser. I wish now that I did not use my energizer batteries powering vibrators for over 20 years joke in a previous post, it would fit right in this week. None the less, we are playing a course of great historic significance this week as Lauterbrunnen is the final resting place for the Von Trapp family best known from the movie the sound of music. I know, I know, I can hear you all screaming at your screens that the Von Trapps escaped, well that was just American propaganda, they could not let the truth be know for morale reasons., I have seen the movie to, and are you trying to tell me that does people with those accents were really Austrian, no the Von Trapps did not survive the war, there escape over the mountains to Switzerland was not real, let me tell you what really happened,
Parts of the movie were true, the Von Trapps were one of those annoying families that constantly broke into song, pissing off everyone around them. A dinner party in their house was a nightmare, with stupid @!$#ing kids running everywhere singing stupid @!$#ing songs about going to bed. And if the adults saw a flower, any kind of flower, the made up a song about it, there on the spot and quests were forced to put down their drinks and listen to them, basically the worse type of people. The Nazi's of course hated this sort of shite and sentenced them to death. The Von Trapps got wind of this, how I do not know, properly in the form of song and decided to escape through the mountains of Switzerland. The Von Traps though in their usual form went Yodeling all the way, yes in their attempts to escape they made so much noise that of course it attracted attention.
In Lauterbrunnen lived a girl called Heidi, she lived with her grandfather as her parents were executed for something to do with sheep. Her grandfather was old school Swiss-German and took to the rise of the Third Reich with enthusiasm and vigor, it was like a whole new lease of life for him and of course he indoctrinated Heidi as soon as she moved in. Heidi's grandfather has a goatherd by the name of Peter working for him, a blonde and blue eyed boy who herded those goats with military precision, because of his Aryan looks and his no nonsense manner, Heidi was allowed to hang around with Peter, even accompany him when he was herding goats up and down and around mountains, not sure why they spent so much time bringing goats up and down and around mountains, I am sure it was some sort of wax on, wax off teaching moment.
One day, Heidi and Peter were on top of one of the mountains that surround Lauterbrunnen, visibility was poor because of mist and fog but sounds still traveled, it was the sound of voices, the sound of singing, it was the sound of people making lists of their favorite things. When Heidi and Peter heard lyrics like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, they know who they were dealing with, simultaneously they both said the word "a##!0#ls" and they knew what had to be done. They called out, " if you are lost in the fog, come to the sound of our voices". They heard a reply, " Sing to use, so we can follow the notes floating in the sky". Heidi turned to Peter, " It's worse than I @!$#ing thought, we can not permit these people to live" but she know what to do and started singing the German national anthem, which you would thing would be a give away but the Von Trapps never won any awards for intelligence. The Von Trapps finally reached where Heidi and Peter were sitting. " Welcome" said Heidi, " Sit and share our schnitzel with noodles, My name if Heidi and this is Peter, out families goatherd. " A goatherd" said Maria Von Trapp, then she sang, "High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo". " Jesus Christ" muttered Heidi to herself " He is here with me, he is not lonely and what does Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo actually mean".
As the rest of the Von Trapps started yodeling, Heidi knew if her Grandfather heard, she would be punished for allowing this sort of singing on his mountain. She shushed the Von Trapps, " Quiet, you don't want to be heard, there are Nazi's around here". A look of horror crossed the face of Liesl Von Trapp. " Not Nazi's" she cried " I just had my heard broken by a Nazi, Oh Rolf Gruber, it could have been special, I am 16 going on 17 but totally unprepared am I to face a world of men". " Yeah, Yeah,Yeah" replied Heidi " plenty of time for that later, first we need to get you all out of here, I have a plan. Get down on all fours and hide among the goats, Peter will herd you off the mountain". " How wonderful " said Maria," And we can yodel along the way". " No @!$#ing yodeling" shouted Heidi " and no @!$#ing singing" "awwwwww" cried the entire Von Trapp family. " I shall stay here" Heidi continued " and bravely fight off any Nazi's that might be following". Maria hugged Heidi, " One last song before we go,So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night,I hate to go and leave this pretty sight. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu. Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen" and with that they were gone, Heidi sat by a tree and waited and soon she heard music to her ears, the sound of screams from the Von Trapps as they plummeted to their deaths as Peter did what he was asked to do and herded them off the mountain to fall into the valley where Launderette golf club now exists
"
That is the 100 percent accurate and true story of what happened to the Von Trapps and some golfers at Launderette say that of a misty day, you can hear singing as the ghost of the Von Trapps try to find their way out
Climb every mountain
Search high and low
Follow every byway
Every path you know
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream
But to this day Liesl is still 16 going on 17 and walks between the path between the 16th green and 17th tee box, should you see her, run. Anyway, good luck everyone, have fun and no singing on the course, bad things happen to people that sing here.
Parts of the movie were true, the Von Trapps were one of those annoying families that constantly broke into song, pissing off everyone around them. A dinner party in their house was a nightmare, with stupid @!$#ing kids running everywhere singing stupid @!$#ing songs about going to bed. And if the adults saw a flower, any kind of flower, the made up a song about it, there on the spot and quests were forced to put down their drinks and listen to them, basically the worse type of people. The Nazi's of course hated this sort of shite and sentenced them to death. The Von Trapps got wind of this, how I do not know, properly in the form of song and decided to escape through the mountains of Switzerland. The Von Traps though in their usual form went Yodeling all the way, yes in their attempts to escape they made so much noise that of course it attracted attention.
In Lauterbrunnen lived a girl called Heidi, she lived with her grandfather as her parents were executed for something to do with sheep. Her grandfather was old school Swiss-German and took to the rise of the Third Reich with enthusiasm and vigor, it was like a whole new lease of life for him and of course he indoctrinated Heidi as soon as she moved in. Heidi's grandfather has a goatherd by the name of Peter working for him, a blonde and blue eyed boy who herded those goats with military precision, because of his Aryan looks and his no nonsense manner, Heidi was allowed to hang around with Peter, even accompany him when he was herding goats up and down and around mountains, not sure why they spent so much time bringing goats up and down and around mountains, I am sure it was some sort of wax on, wax off teaching moment.
One day, Heidi and Peter were on top of one of the mountains that surround Lauterbrunnen, visibility was poor because of mist and fog but sounds still traveled, it was the sound of voices, the sound of singing, it was the sound of people making lists of their favorite things. When Heidi and Peter heard lyrics like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, they know who they were dealing with, simultaneously they both said the word "a##!0#ls" and they knew what had to be done. They called out, " if you are lost in the fog, come to the sound of our voices". They heard a reply, " Sing to use, so we can follow the notes floating in the sky". Heidi turned to Peter, " It's worse than I @!$#ing thought, we can not permit these people to live" but she know what to do and started singing the German national anthem, which you would thing would be a give away but the Von Trapps never won any awards for intelligence. The Von Trapps finally reached where Heidi and Peter were sitting. " Welcome" said Heidi, " Sit and share our schnitzel with noodles, My name if Heidi and this is Peter, out families goatherd. " A goatherd" said Maria Von Trapp, then she sang, "High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo". " Jesus Christ" muttered Heidi to herself " He is here with me, he is not lonely and what does Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo actually mean".
As the rest of the Von Trapps started yodeling, Heidi knew if her Grandfather heard, she would be punished for allowing this sort of singing on his mountain. She shushed the Von Trapps, " Quiet, you don't want to be heard, there are Nazi's around here". A look of horror crossed the face of Liesl Von Trapp. " Not Nazi's" she cried " I just had my heard broken by a Nazi, Oh Rolf Gruber, it could have been special, I am 16 going on 17 but totally unprepared am I to face a world of men". " Yeah, Yeah,Yeah" replied Heidi " plenty of time for that later, first we need to get you all out of here, I have a plan. Get down on all fours and hide among the goats, Peter will herd you off the mountain". " How wonderful " said Maria," And we can yodel along the way". " No @!$#ing yodeling" shouted Heidi " and no @!$#ing singing" "awwwwww" cried the entire Von Trapp family. " I shall stay here" Heidi continued " and bravely fight off any Nazi's that might be following". Maria hugged Heidi, " One last song before we go,So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night,I hate to go and leave this pretty sight. So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu. Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu
So long, farewell, au revoir, auf wiedersehen" and with that they were gone, Heidi sat by a tree and waited and soon she heard music to her ears, the sound of screams from the Von Trapps as they plummeted to their deaths as Peter did what he was asked to do and herded them off the mountain to fall into the valley where Launderette golf club now exists
"
That is the 100 percent accurate and true story of what happened to the Von Trapps and some golfers at Launderette say that of a misty day, you can hear singing as the ghost of the Von Trapps try to find their way out
Climb every mountain
Search high and low
Follow every byway
Every path you know
Climb every mountain
Ford every stream
Follow every rainbow
Till you find your dream
But to this day Liesl is still 16 going on 17 and walks between the path between the 16th green and 17th tee box, should you see her, run. Anyway, good luck everyone, have fun and no singing on the course, bad things happen to people that sing here.