First of all, thank you all for giving this course a try!
For me that means a lot! <3
I also thinking about that this course will be the last course that i submit for TGCTours.com.
It always hurts that a course has just been approved and you don't know what's "bad" about this again course.
I watch some livestreams and see which courses are also approved and very often i can see why a course XY got the same advertising then mine.
I dont say that i create the best courses, off course i dont! So dont understand me wrong with that!
But it still feels strange to see some courses the have the same mark, its damn hard to explain.
Maybe its just because this course is something super special for me?
Maybe thats the reason why it hurts way more?
Idk.....Hum.
And for everyone who wished me all the best for my cat again, maybe I was too hasty when I told him it would be better.
Yesterday I went to the vet again because my cat still had a bump on his lower jaw where his teeth were pulled.
At the moment he loses a lot of saliva, eats little, looks out the tip of his tongue, sleeps very restlessly and sometimes hisses for no reason (probably because of the pain).
I thought it was still swollen from it, although it is atypical that it lasts so long.
Oh boy ....... It just looked really really good, he was on the best way and then another slap in the face.
However the visit to the vet brought extremely bad news.
The bump he has on his lower jaw is not just an inflammation and swelling because his teeth were pulled, no, it is a malignant bone tumor (osteosarcoma) that has made itself comfortable in his mouth.
After Stimpy stopped taking antibiotics, it started spreading.
He is now given somewhat stronger medication to reduce the tumor and make his life easier again, but if that doesn't work, then there is only one option .......... I think i dont have to say which solution that would be.
I can't describe how I'm doing now and how bad it all is, especially considering how well he was doing.
We had his thyroid disease under control, he put on weight again, the water that he had in his lungs is gone, his heart was beating better too, and then suddenly THAT.
I whisper in his ear several times a day how proud I am of him, that he is so brave and that I still need him. And then tears roll down my cheeks because I know that these words can't do much and that I'm just powerless to deal with the situation.
It`s by far the hardest situation in my whole life, not even the dead of my mom drives me that crazy, sounds hard, but its true.
It was always my wish that at some point he would fall asleep peacefully in my arm and not that I would have to make the decision to have to decide at some point.
But if the medication he's now being given doesn't work, I probably have no other choice and I have to redeem him.
Just as a reminder, i have him since 15 years and he is the best that happened to me, he is all what i love and what i need.
It's a pain in the ass, thats for sure.
And maybe nobody care about that, but i have to write it somewhere.
And it just fits best where it hit me the most, in the time I was building this course.