South Carolina Pro-Am@Asturias Lakes
May 15, 2021 8:32:24 GMT -5
Art Vandelay, sandsaver01, and 5 more like this
Post by hmammoth on May 15, 2021 8:32:24 GMT -5
A bunch of Kinetic players approached me recently to raise concerns and as a kind scheduler, I was more than happy to listen. They wanted to talk about difficulty and specifically the financial cost that can sometimes arise. It seems recently a lot of players are losing balls, both left and right, it is like they have forgotten how to swing a club and balls are getting lost in forests, behind rocks, in bushes and they want the Kinetic tour to provide them with replacement balls, or at least change the rules that only Kinetic tour branded balls not be the only balls that can be used while playing so they can buy and bringing cheaper balls to the course. They believe that it is unfair that the only golf balls allowed on the Kinetic tour are the ones sold in the Kinetic shop that cost 5 times the price compared to what they can buy somewhere else. After some careful consideration, I told them to f**k off and to stop being whiny little babies and learn to hit the ball straight.
Now, completely unrelated to the above paragraph, The Kinetic tour is proud to present a new service to all it's members, we have coated all Kinetic balls with a new material that when it hits water, it starts to glow, making it easier to find a ball that lands in water. What difference is that going to make, I hear you ask, well let me tell you, available now in the Kinetic store, new scuba diving equipment which will allow you to easily retrieve that missing ball so you can continue your round with out the purchase of new golf balls. But wait, there is more, not everyone likes getting wet, some people may be scared of water and what is in the water. I traveled the length and breath of Ireland looking for skilled divers who can do the job for you. After carefully juggling cost and skill level of divers all over the country, I settled on the town of Muff in Co Donegal and hired a number of skilled divers from the famous Muff diving club. These fearless men and women are willing to dive deep to retrieve balls from places you guys fear to go. This will mean a slight large increase in your monthly fees but all Kinetic tour members will also be giving membership to the Muff Diving Club and receive a free muff diving t-shirt.
Now, completely unrelated to the two paragraphs above, lets see what course we are playing this week, Asturias Lakes by Drjones306 . Hmm lakes, I wonder does that mean there might be some water near the course, if so, what a complete and random coincidence. This is mrgumzy first course on tour and it is always nice to welcome a new designer to the tours and I think, this season, we have brought a lot of new designers to the tours which is always exciting and there is more to come, but take warning though, mrgumzy used to be known as Mr mouth full of brilliantly white teeth. When he heard the news that his course was going to host a Kinetic tour event, he ran straight onto the 18th fairway to share the news and was hit full in the mouth by a golf call, and sadly his name had to be changed. So, good luck all, have fun out there and if you can't stay dry, we here at The Kinetic tour have you covered.
Now, completely unrelated to the above paragraph, The Kinetic tour is proud to present a new service to all it's members, we have coated all Kinetic balls with a new material that when it hits water, it starts to glow, making it easier to find a ball that lands in water. What difference is that going to make, I hear you ask, well let me tell you, available now in the Kinetic store, new scuba diving equipment which will allow you to easily retrieve that missing ball so you can continue your round with out the purchase of new golf balls. But wait, there is more, not everyone likes getting wet, some people may be scared of water and what is in the water. I traveled the length and breath of Ireland looking for skilled divers who can do the job for you. After carefully juggling cost and skill level of divers all over the country, I settled on the town of Muff in Co Donegal and hired a number of skilled divers from the famous Muff diving club. These fearless men and women are willing to dive deep to retrieve balls from places you guys fear to go. This will mean a slight large increase in your monthly fees but all Kinetic tour members will also be giving membership to the Muff Diving Club and receive a free muff diving t-shirt.
Now, completely unrelated to the two paragraphs above, lets see what course we are playing this week, Asturias Lakes by Drjones306 . Hmm lakes, I wonder does that mean there might be some water near the course, if so, what a complete and random coincidence. This is mrgumzy first course on tour and it is always nice to welcome a new designer to the tours and I think, this season, we have brought a lot of new designers to the tours which is always exciting and there is more to come, but take warning though, mrgumzy used to be known as Mr mouth full of brilliantly white teeth. When he heard the news that his course was going to host a Kinetic tour event, he ran straight onto the 18th fairway to share the news and was hit full in the mouth by a golf call, and sadly his name had to be changed. So, good luck all, have fun out there and if you can't stay dry, we here at The Kinetic tour have you covered.