Good Evening BoB’ers
It’s a me with your weekly Sh!t the Bed award ceremony and I have agreed absolutely NO SONGS this week…I promise.
This week is double helix, a once in a lifetime event…the moon landings, a full eclipse or a cut being installed in the Platinum tour…its a double STB, an STB times two if you will.
IT’S SCRAPING THE BARREL X SH!T THE BED —You see! You see what I did. ( I doesn’t get any better than that).
Well it all your faults anyway by being so bloody good and practicing like billy-o, you cheeky tykes. You managed just to avoid this prestigious decoration ( and a £5 postal order -if that doesn’t get your competitive juices flowing god knows what will).
Well let’s be thankful that we have 3 (THREE) nominations this week for the Scraping The Barrel Sh1t The Bed or (STBx2).
In One.
Jeff Freeman -
zzfr33b1rdzz CC-B - round 1 - Self nominated. - He was +3 after 8 holes, with two, three putts in three holes. This was not the start he wanted. He decided to try for some divine inspiration and find a God…Unfortunately this was as successful as his driving accuracy, so he decidedly to play better instead…Which he did, 11 putts on the whole back nine wasnt enough to get him in the running for the cut but was not too bad. 3 bogeys doesnth maketh the trophy - MC Shakespeare once dropped.
In trap 2.
Subtle Bees -
subtlebees True sim (I know, I know - barrel scraping FFS!) Round Two - One of, if not the best xbox player at the moment. Shouldnt be reading this garbage, let alone being featured in it!
A little known fact is he is the tallest of the B’s triplets ( Subtle 6ft 2, Killah 6ft & Digs 4ft 8)… We were genetically cultivated in an East German scientific laboratory hidden away in a secret bunker. The master plan was to create the 3 best pixel golfers of the generation. The authorities were going to release the B’s triplets at the same time, as products of the Eastern Bloc and show the world that Communism could corrupt the world of top level golf. Unfortunately with the fall of the Soviet Union meant the scientists involved decided to release the kids in countries that could nurture their talents…Subtle in Canada, Killah in the land of the Free and they left the runt of the litter Digs, behind the bins, just off a service station on the A3 out of London, to be raised by badgers.
Anyway, my brother Subtle in round two(back on point) of true sim, was wearing his lucky tartan plus fours and long socks. After a bold 64 in round one, he was just one shot behind the leader. Pierce made his play for the top spot…..or STB…A six hole ride on the par train ToOT! TOoT tickets please! He hopped off for two back to back birdies, the stats were beguiling, nothing appeared to be at fault but Subtle knew things were not right. He stood on the tenth tee and over the next seven holes produced some shocking golfage +5 over 7 holes including 15 putts was for him pathetic, the retired scientists back at the laboratory in Essen were weeping. Suffice to say normal business resumed in the next rounds but his chance of victory in this viciously contested tour, was not going to be this week. WHEN IS THE CURSE GOING TO BE BROKEN -WHEN IS AN XBOXER GOING TO WIN TRUE SIM. may be its next week!
Happy Trappy Three - Jamie Gale - Elite - round 3 - Now normally this award is reserved for those who dont make a cut like Jeff but one round stood out whilst i was scanning the scores. Another side note, did anybody know that the greatest living Englishman Sir David Attenborough has an account and currently playing on CC-I …he missed the cut…he is 97. His xbox tag is boozy mango …That’s so Dave. sorry distracted again.
The one thing everyone knows about Jamie is he is incredibly tall, hence the Giraffe name. Here is a picture of
Demonondalinks , Digs and
Giraffe72 …
I have known
Giraffe72 for many years ever since we lived in a flat with
Demonondalinks in Peckham and ran a market stall selling half price tracksuits, we had purchased from a mush in shepherd bush.
then there was time we went hand gliding…
Back to golf
Two well played rounds, with shall we say a few hiccups. The giraffe started round 3 with full confidence to make a dash for the top 20. An average front nine didnt prepare him for the next nine. A triple bogey on 14 with a 3 putt was the start of the carnage.
So standing on the 18th tee, he hit the perfect drive down the centre of the fairway. Just as Jamie was taking his approach shot, his playing partners caddy started posing and posting to instagram, much to Giraffes chagrin.The resulting shot was wayward and
xEB50x caddy was unapologetic about her behaviour. A recovery shot was short and by then his mind has gone( many have complained about EB50’s semi clad caddy most enjoy them).His four putts later had ruined the round with a “dirty brown”. round 4 was great and he still beat
Smijti who was above the cut line.
Anywas for a mediocrity award, this was a mediocre write up here is
xEB50x auditioning his new caddy. XxCENSOREDxX
And the winner is … God I cant give it to a true sim round surely …Yes I can well done Pierce
subtlebees the first time an xbox player has had any success on that tour!
horusphoenix edits so far = 3 . (Record 324 week 3)
