Back once again is the mediocre master…4 iron damage with the ill par saver.*
They said it could not been done again but it is the eagerly awaited by no one the BoB Mediocrity watch is back. Woo Hoo.
Let us celebrate all that is mundane with a trip to the CC-‘S…
CC-J
meunier33 was resting on the precipice of greatness going into round 2 sitting on a solid even par round 1. Two birds would be enough to make the cut. This weeks Machine then STB with a 75 but with mechanical precision had 29 putts in both rounds, 4 bunkers hit in the two rounds and a driving accuracy of 69.2% The ever keen world 1996 played rounds 3 & 4 in vain. #sad face.
CC-H
Chief Banks A mesmerising Jekyll & Hyde performance from one half of the fearsome INTIMIDATORS adult performance troupe. His round 1 was a soaring success, then with a blemish of a bogey on 17 slightly tarnished his 6 under. This must of been playing on his mind as he tee’d off for round two. The dreams and aspirations came crashing down around him with four bogies in four holes including 9 putts.Chief put on his big boy pants and managed two decent birds until the Par train came a calling and TOOT TOOT! Chief bought a ticket to Hole 15. Where he had enough by then and smashed a double bogey, 3 putt included, for todays first STB nomination. The 6 (six) bunkers visited was the kicker, so maybe he had sand in his eyes… which must be the reason he was seen weeping into his beer in the clubhouse.
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ARH Semsi - Confusion reigns this week as somehow (according to Semsi) He managed to play all of his rounds in the incorrect order! His third round should of been his first. His Fourth rounder should of been switched with his first.
”It was bizarre” he could be heard shouting as he marched towards the stewards office. After an hour of swearing and berating, the match referee took what Semsi was smoking and moved swiftly on.
itsjustgary missed the cut with 2 unwanted bogeys on the front nine of round two. Nothing funny about that. Its just facts.
CC-B
zzfr33b1rdzz missed out playing rounds 3 & 4 due to 4 bogies on round 2. The GIR of 66% blotted his copy book.
Koop took that copy book and re arranged it into what is possible the greatest 36 holes of golf ever created …a big fan of chaos theory - no two holes were the same.The numbers he posted have a 1 in 6 billion chance of ever happening again. Mind Blown, great work if that was your intention sir!
Whilst I looked at the scorecard I was taken back to those old magic eye posters/books that you had to stare at to see random objects in the background. Now, every time I look I see new things…So far i have witnessed…a Bed.. A big turd and a trophy. Science is Fascinating!
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Vegas - Just unlucky man- no bed messing witnessed.
Kinetic
grimbo - Two rounds of meandering golf from a regular here. I now know what AFC stands for Avoiding the F**king Cutline. SHOTS FIRED!
Elite
The housewives favourite Swedish hunk
r0nrun was in between modelling contracts, when he posted up some solid numbers. 3 eagles then 2 chip in’s could not disguise the fact that he couldnt hit a cow’s arse with a Volvo. A FIR of under 50% for both rounds shows that what a Nordic god of scrambling he is.
xEB50x The laid back retired adult performance artist, has made a play for the prestigious STB award. His debut round in Elite 2023 started with 6 birds in 6 holes ( ironically a film he made in 1992 movie fans! - Don’t google it on a work PC!) He steadied himself with a couple of pars, then smashed the back doors off the 11th hole with a eagle!
His heart rate was pumping and in fear of over excitement, he consulted his amazonian female caddy. She managed to calm him down, just enough to birdie two of the last seven holes.
Round two began and a refreshed EB50 blasted a bird in hole 1. A short trip on the Love par train TOOT TOOT! Made his mind race…He jumped off for a quickie bird on hole 5 and strolled reverse cowboy style to the tee of hole no.6. The drive was straight down the throat of the fairway. The approach shot disappointingly dribbled off the green. Then…just…then..he had a moment of true inspiration… not golf related at all but the name of his next big blockbuster… “She putt the A$$ into Spygla$$”. Four putts later, he had the plot, the leading man - obviously himself- and a bevvy of leading ladies already story boarded out. He speed golfed the last holes like a legend.
He was last seen speeding away in his corvette with his caddy and her 3 triplet sisters in the back.
Platinum -THEY DONT HAVE TO MAKE A CUT - HOW EASY IS THAT…next your telling me that they don't have to carry their own bags!
True Sim - I heard a rumour that the best True sim players all agree that for added immersion you should turn off the TV whilst playing, otherwise its too easy. They are a strange bunch.
STB Award goes to
xEB50x congratulations sir put it next to your adult movie performer of the year awards.
*What a start and to be honest it doesn’t get any better than that.
