Post by asyoudo64 on May 29, 2023 17:51:28 GMT -5
BoB Mediocrity Watch.
A celebration of all things xbox that we are used too, you know missed cuts, long rides on the par train (TOOT! TOOT!) and relegation marks (Doyley Kisses). We are not used to god forbid Winning. So on with the hum drum.
PLATINUM - some Xbox chaps were close to winning something - who cares BORING. NEXT!
ELITE - The Ryder cups Swedish poster boy r0nrun Started out shooting a blistering 58 in the first round including just 22 putts. He then opens his account for the first nomination for the STB award (s**t the bed) A second round 73 including 31 putts, the longest being just 7.6feet. Ironically this is the average distance everyone in the world is at anytime from an IKEA product…spooky.
Lord Smijti of Europe was carried to the first tee by his gleeful entourage. All was going swell including a chip in eagle at hole 5. The second round was largely uneventful and led to the missed cut. The two bogeys in the last three holes were the kicker but hey ho the lord will be back.
Propping up the whole shenanigans was digsb who started his round with a 3 putt and and ended with two four putts No STB award nomination, as no bed was made to begin with.
KINETIC - An honorary mention to grimbo who made the cut, so wouldn’t normally be mentioned in these dispatches but he sent me £20 so i feel obliged to note his 29 putts in round four, the longest being just 10.7feet. No nomination for the STB but thanks for the cash.
Everyone else either won or was close to winning BORING!
CC-A - Another Ryder cup legend xcltaff1980 missed the cut. Two bogeys in the last three holes of round one was disappointing but a rejuvenated Taff started round two on fire. Seven birdies in the first nine holes must of raised expectations. Wait a minute…What’s that noise TOOT! TOOT! A ride on the par train only interrupted by a bogey ended a disappointing week.
lessangster didn’t pay me enough to be mentioned this week. He missed by a shot or two. Had a few bad putts blah blah blah.
CC-B - liebs44 and Koop just missed the cut. Nothing else.
CC-C rhino4life had the victory speech written after an eagle, birdie start to round two.His thoughts turned to how he would spend the winners cheque, as he boarded the par train on hole three. Two birdies at holes 8 and 10 gave a brief respite…then TICKETS PLEASE! Until hole 15.
ARH Semsi was commiserating with Dave at the bar, as he scored 12 under too. Only 1 bogey was solid shooting and both shot too well to be rightfully mentioned here.
CC-E - Wily wizzfox shot a great first round, including two chips ins and only 22 putts. The second round never got going and a longest putt of 11.8 feet meant the flat stick never heated up.
CC-G - sanchez was scarily consistent over two rounds… 28 putts on both rounds. 2 bunkers hit on both rounds. A GIR of 66.7% ON BOTH ROUNDS. His longest drive was 339.4 yards ON BOTH F**KING ROUNDS!!!…This guy is a F-ing MACHINE… a machine that needs a tune up but a MF MACHINE!! Rumours on tour is that he is married to twins.
CC-H - xclgizman08 shot a phenomenal 59 on round one, ending with a chip in eagle, a birdie and only 18 putts. He was on fire. Undaunted he stood on the 1st tee of round two and surveyed all around him. He proceeded to claim a further 7 birdies in nine holes with only 8 putts…PHENOMENAL. The victory speech was being composed at the turn and thoughts of who was going to get the champagne soaking was at the forefront of his decision making as he …BOARDED THE PAR TRAIN TOOT! TOOT!. Two birdies and 14 putts later, he must of still been happy.
Round 3 began in desperation, as he realised he had left his trusty putter in the local Travelodge. The ever resourceful Yorkshireman managed to whittle a putter from a fallen branch. But it was too late by then…
A S**t The Bed winning 1 over with a total of 55 putts in two rounds was enough to drop out of a assured top ten but accomplished enough to be crowned the inaugural winner of the BoB STB award.
CONGRATULATIONS XCL GIZ
I am sure “the natural one” will be back!
