Tim Hortons Canada Challenge@Mayeski Park
Dec 5, 2020 15:03:46 GMT -5
coruler2, Brionne, and 11 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Dec 5, 2020 15:03:46 GMT -5
Lets face it, we all hate designers with their smugness, their arrogance and their general demeanor. In a recent survey carried out by me on my behalf, 100 percent of kinetic tours schedulers said, they hate designers. 100 percent said that designers spoil a good golf course. 100 percent said that they are smelly poopy heads. With survey results like that, it must be true. I mean, imagine this, it's a beautiful morning and you decide to play a round of golf, you head to the golf course and on the first hole, you take your driver and hit the ball straight down the middle over 300 yards. A perfect shot you say to yourself. That's what you think says the designer and before you know it, he plops down a bunker in the middle of the fairway, ruining your day. The off skips the designer, putting a bunker here, a lake there and out of bounds everywhere. You might as well pack away your clubs and head home. Hell, even other designers hate designers, have you ever read a design competition thread, there is more shade there than there is beneath the coconuts trees next to my pool on my Caribbean island. So I said to myself, what can I do about this, what can I do to show these designers how you, there everyday golfer feels every time they visit a golf course and I came up with a plan, a new series of events under the title " Designers get reckt ". In this series, I will take a course designed by a designer and with clever use of my skills as a scheduler, make the course so unplayable that the output of mean and nasty comments will make the designer curl up in a ball and cry into his or her favorite cuddly toy, that they will be so mortified from the feedback they get about there course, that they will give up designing for ever and go live as a hermit in some dark dank cave. A unexpected side affect of this is that I become the hero of tgctours and everyone will love me even more.
So, who should be the first designer that gets reckt. I thought long and hard about this, I was considering b101, I was going to crank up the green speeds so high that there was no way of getting the ball even close to the hole. So I took a look at his course Salt Lick or something like that and when I saw the greens, it was clear that Ben has pretty much reckt himself, I then looked at some of his other courses and there was nothing I could do to make those greens worse, obviously Ben is the sort that likes to take a red hot poker and shove it up his own anyway, why are we taking about him anyway. I have allready sworn that there is no way in hell that another Ben Page course will ever be used on my tour again, never ever, no way would I make ye guys suffer one of those monstrosities. You can take that as gospel, not a chance this will happen, I mean I promise and cross my heart and all that stuff.
Which designer gets reckt first though? I then had a brain wave. How about mattf27. The designer that has destroyed more hopes and dreams than anyone here on tgctours by not approving any course that is better than his. (Hold on, my lawyers want to add something) "Allegedly", anyway that is a hell of a lot of golf courses when you think about it. So Matthew Fritsch becomes the first designer to star in " To Catch a Designer"( I changed the name at the last second because I can do that sort of thing) I looked at a bunch of courses by Matt and just as I was about to lose the will to live, I came across Mayeski Park,(he could not even spell Majestic right). A so called easy course, a gentle course with tame greens, easy to hit fairways and by using the powers invested in me by the admins of tgctours, I reckt it.
You don't all have to thank me now, you can send your messages of love and support over the next week or so. I will just check your name my kinetic tour members list as they come in. You really don't want to me the star of my next series " Players get reckt" in which I find out what what courses and conditions players hate the most and make them play in them for the rest of the season. Anyway good luck(you will need it) have fun(you won't) and don't forget get to wave good by to Mr Matthew Fritsch as he leaves tgctours forever and moves into his cave.
So, who should be the first designer that gets reckt. I thought long and hard about this, I was considering b101, I was going to crank up the green speeds so high that there was no way of getting the ball even close to the hole. So I took a look at his course Salt Lick or something like that and when I saw the greens, it was clear that Ben has pretty much reckt himself, I then looked at some of his other courses and there was nothing I could do to make those greens worse, obviously Ben is the sort that likes to take a red hot poker and shove it up his own anyway, why are we taking about him anyway. I have allready sworn that there is no way in hell that another Ben Page course will ever be used on my tour again, never ever, no way would I make ye guys suffer one of those monstrosities. You can take that as gospel, not a chance this will happen, I mean I promise and cross my heart and all that stuff.
Which designer gets reckt first though? I then had a brain wave. How about mattf27. The designer that has destroyed more hopes and dreams than anyone here on tgctours by not approving any course that is better than his. (Hold on, my lawyers want to add something) "Allegedly", anyway that is a hell of a lot of golf courses when you think about it. So Matthew Fritsch becomes the first designer to star in " To Catch a Designer"( I changed the name at the last second because I can do that sort of thing) I looked at a bunch of courses by Matt and just as I was about to lose the will to live, I came across Mayeski Park,(he could not even spell Majestic right). A so called easy course, a gentle course with tame greens, easy to hit fairways and by using the powers invested in me by the admins of tgctours, I reckt it.
You don't all have to thank me now, you can send your messages of love and support over the next week or so. I will just check your name my kinetic tour members list as they come in. You really don't want to me the star of my next series " Players get reckt" in which I find out what what courses and conditions players hate the most and make them play in them for the rest of the season. Anyway good luck(you will need it) have fun(you won't) and don't forget get to wave good by to Mr Matthew Fritsch as he leaves tgctours forever and moves into his cave.