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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 23, 2021 5:14:03 GMT -5
The Cyder Cup - Day 2 Match 7Enter The Catcherman. With the wheels falling off the Monarchs Bus it needed a sterling performance from Dan catcherman22 and he provided a solid base for the Monarchs in his partnership with Mitch volinvietnam In opposition for the Strikers, the football lads Ben SkyBlueBen and Pat Celtic Wolf who kept steady and partnered well in the face on Dan's onslaught and it took a birdie from Mitch on the 14th to square things up and that's how it stayed to the end with neither pair able to deliver the killer blow. Latest Monarchs 1.5 Strikers 4.5 Yay! I contributed something positive 😁 Beauty of this format Mitch, you don't have to be the best player to make an impact. I wish sometimes we could run the regular season like this but I fear it would be far too much work to take on, especially as one day soon (hopefully) I may have to go back to working for a living.... |
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Post by Ashton Fox on Mar 23, 2021 6:23:38 GMT -5
Monarchs, You hear this? 6 matches in and they are calling this a rout! They must think we are just going to lie over and die the next 26 matches.   🦊🍺🦋 |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 23, 2021 6:56:02 GMT -5
Monarchs, You hear this? 6 matches in and they are calling this a rout! They must think we are just going to lie over and die the next 26 matches. 🦊🍺🦋 Don't worry Ashton, not counting my chickens, this could change VERY quickly....  |
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Post by lessangster on Mar 23, 2021 7:04:00 GMT -5
Monarchs, You hear this? 6 matches in and they are calling this a rout! They must think we are just going to lie over and die the next 26 matches. 🦊🍺🦋 Don't worry Ashton, not counting my chickens, this could change VERY quickly.... Worried....who’s worried  |
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 23, 2021 7:54:56 GMT -5
The Cyder Cup - Day 1 Match 2The Monarchs Swedish Seductress Carol inflames47 obviously turned the heads of the Strikers boys with a weakness for a pretty face, Ken L jg24kl and Andy/Mick Avakrac and while they were distracted Jason jason755 stole in with some fluent pixel golf to ensure a tight victory. Latest Monarchs 2.5 Strikers 4.5
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Post by evilgrin72 on Mar 23, 2021 8:32:53 GMT -5
Cyder Cup Day 1 Match 4
David Kendall / Les Sangster (Monarchs) vs Ernie Copage and Ben Tough (Strikers)
Good afternoon golf fans, Verne Lundquist here with my guest today, Johnny Bollocks to bring you the recap of this thrilling day one tilt between Dave & Les, representing the Magner's Monarchs and Ernie and Ben for the Strongbow Strikers. Johnny, what did you see out there today?
Verne, you ever hear of the band Warrant?
Warrant? I'm not sure...
You know, Verne... (*sings*) Sheeeeeee's my cherry pie !
Oh yes, I remember that video, Johnny.
I'll bet you do. Well, one night well, WELL after Warrant's heyday, a friend of mine and I were drinking in a bar in Southampton, NY. On the other side of the bar, there was a chap with long blonde hair powering down rum & Cokes, being relatively loud and belligerent and relentlessly hitting on two young ladies who appeared immune to his charms. After some investigation, we realized it was Jani Lane, lead singer of Warrant. Being a little tipsy ourselves, we engaged him in conversation, trying to "save" the two girls he was hitting on, the idea being that if we got rid of him, perhaps they'd be grateful enough to engage us in conversation.
Conversation, huh?
Yes, Verne. AND NOTHING BUT. *ahem.* Well, as it happened, they wanted no part of us either and fled the scene shortly thereafter, but now we were locked in conversation with a staggering drunk, nearly incoherent Jani Lane. After humoring him for a bit, we attempted to beat a retreat, as he was now obscenely drunk (and still doing shots) and had gone from mildly entertaining to exceedingly annoying. We started for the door and had just gotten outside when Lane came flying out, babbling about needing a ride home. My buddy had borrowed his rich uncle's Jaguar XJS (his rich uncle was the only reason we were in the Hamptons to begin with) and he's afraid Jani is going to yak in the car. He's trying to find an excuse not to let the rock star into the backseat, and I'm laughing hysterically, not able to believe what's transpiring. Eventually, we let him in the car and ask him to direct us to where he's staying/living.
I think I see where this is headed.
Well, not exactly, Verne. After about 20 minutes of him pointing in different directions and mumbling (he's now shifting from manic drunk to almost comatose mode) we realize we've gone around in circles. We felt like Spinal Tap in Cleveland when they keep encountering the same janitor over and over. My buddy's looking at me, disgusted, as he's now driving the same roads over and over, probably inebriated above the legal limit, in a very expensive car with a vomit risk in the back seat. Finally, he just pulls up in front of a bank and says - "Here you go, dude !!!!" Jani, not realizing where he is, fumbles for the handle and gets out. Before he can process what's happening, my buddy hits the gas, swinging the back door shut, and tears out of the parking lot, leaving the front man from Warrant standing piss drunk in a bank parking lot with his arms extended, palms up. No idea where he is. All I could think about as he shrank in the rear view mirror and we were laughing hysterically was that this would make a great story someday.
That's fabulous, Johnny, but what about the match?
Oh yeah, Dave and Les got on top early and never trailed en route to a 4 & 3 victory.
OK, Jim - back to you in the studio...
Kendall & Sangster (Monarchs) defeat Tough & Copage (Strikers) 4 & 3
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 23, 2021 8:45:41 GMT -5
Thanks for the update Johnny evilgrin72 and things are starting to get interesting. Monarchs on the way back. "Float like a bee, sting like a butterfly" is a famous phrase of Muhammed Ali and is certainly being acted out by the Monarchs. Strikers need to man up to the challenge... Latest Monarchs 3.5 Strikers 4.5
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Post by Ashton Fox on Mar 23, 2021 8:48:11 GMT -5
And just like that, Day 1 is all tied up.  🦊🍺🦋 |
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Post by volinvietnam on Mar 23, 2021 8:51:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the update Johnny evilgrin72 and things are starting to get interesting. Monarchs on the way back. "Float like a bee, sting like a butterfly" is a famous phrase of Muhammed Ali and is certainly being acted out by the Monarchs. Strikers need to man up to the challenge... Latest Monarchs 3.5 Strikers 4.5
I'm all for Hey Arnold! Gifs.....keep them coming! |
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Post by evilgrin72 on Mar 23, 2021 9:02:22 GMT -5
Day 1 - Match 7
Mike Georgiades & Leon Anderson (Monarchs) vs Randy Mears & Simon Morris (Strikers)
Verne Lundquist back with you again, alongside my partner Johnny Bollocks, with a recap of this pivotal day 1 scrap. Johnny, tell us what you saw out there..
Verne, first let me share with you all a really embarrassing thing that happened to me a few years ago.
Ummmm, OK - feel free, I guess.
Verne, when I was about 15 years old, I was on a swim team. The day before the end of the year awards banquet, a bunch of us were sitting around and I came up with what I thought would be a great practical joke idea. We'd all wear our racing suits (Speedos, a.k.a. banana hammocks) underneath our regular bathing trunks to the after-party annual boys vs. girls team water polo game. This game was a long-standing tradition and was usually attended/watched by most of the parents of the team members, as well as the coaches and other various folks involved with administration. The plan was that we would neglect to mention to one person that we were to wear the Speedos under our bathing suits. As it turned out, our buddy Eric wasn't around at the time, so he defaulted to the victim role.
Oh boy.
Stay with me. At halftime of the game, I "devised on the spot" a plan to the whole team (all of whom besides Eric were in the know) that we would, at a moment to be determined, whip off our suits and climb out of the pool naked and streak the club. Eric looked really apprehensive but everyone else was so firmly on board - this should have been the tip-off - that he reluctantly agreed. A few minutes into the second half, I yell "NOW !!!" At which point, 10 guys yank off their bathing suits and throw them out of the pool onto the pool deck, much to the shock and chagrin of the girls' team we were facing and all of the onlookers. Eric is the last to do so, unsurprisingly, but he ultimately follows suit (pun intended.) Naturally, we then all start cracking up and climb out of the pool in our Speedos. The crowd and our opponents, realizing they'd been had, and thinking THAT was the aim of the joke, roared with laughter. That is, until they realized that poor Eric wasn't in on the con and was left naked treading water in a pool full of teenage girls with dozens, if not hundreds of parents and coaches watching from the stands.
That's amusing, but how exactly is that something embarrassing that happened to you?
Well, here's the thing, Verne. Several years ago, the Orlando Weekly newspaper had a contest around April Fool's Day where they asked readers to send in their best practical joke story for a chance to win 2 court-side seats for the Magic/Raptors NBA game later that week. So, I sent this story in and won the contest. Which was awesome until the paper published the results of the contest thusly :
"We're happy to announce the winner of our weekly Magic ticket giveaway is Johnny Bollocks of Winter Park. We won't give you the whole story he wrote us, but we'll just tell you it involved wet naked teenage boys. Congratulations Johnny!"
Oh dear.
Yeah. That was printed in a frigging newspaper without any further clarification, with my full name and neighborhood of residence, and read by roughly 200,000 people in the city in which I lived. I suppose it was some sort of delayed karmic justice being served.....
I still think you got the better end of the deal than did poor Eric.
Perhaps, and I did get to sit court-side for an NBA game, those tickets are usually a couple grand a pop.
Good for you. Now, how about this match?
Oh, right. Well, the Strikers won the first hole and then didn't win another until it was too late. A front 9 avalanche by Mike & Leon proved insurmountable.
I feel like the match reports are getting short shrift here.
Just giving the people what they want, Verne. At least, I hope so.....
Georgiades & Anderson (Monarchs) defeat Mears & Morris (Strikers) 4 & 3
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Post by SkyBlueBen on Mar 23, 2021 10:54:10 GMT -5
The Cyder Cup Latest
And after the last report from Johnny the Butterfly's are back swinging and it's all square. Monarchs 4.5 Strikers 4.5
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Post by SAM on Mar 23, 2021 11:41:34 GMT -5
 Nail biting stuff............. |
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Post by Crazy Croc on Mar 23, 2021 12:57:17 GMT -5
Day 2 Match 5
David G and Jeff W (Monarchs) vs Ken W and Peter M (Strikers)
In a shock move the Cider Cup - The Second Coming, was moved last minute from Melbourne to Moe's Tavern in Springfield. Gone are the unmistakable sound of driver heads sweetly striking golf balls, birds joyfully twittering about a bright new day, the wind rustling as if to confirm life is good. Instead all one could hear was the clunking sound of plastic hitting plastic, the quiet hum of cpu fans, the occasional muttering from hard concentrating virtual golfers. The only sound remotely associated with golf was the familiar PSHHH as yet another Duff was cracked open. Yes sports fans, the unthinkable has finally happened - golf has gone digital. I'm Scraper de Ville, your reporter for this all important match and with me I have Mister Joe Soap, the man who made all of this happen
Good day, Mr Soap, may I call you Joe? Tell us why here. In a bar. People playing golf using game consoles or PC's, sitting in sofas. Why not out there in the rain, the wind, the sun, the way the game has been played for hundreds of years? Btw, I just noticed Ken and Pete going one up on the first
You can call me Mr Soap. Or just Sir. To get back to your question, golf going digital was inevitable. The cost of golf course upkeep has become unbearable and so has the cost of playing the game. Covid 21 has just expedited the process.
Covid 21?
Yes, Covid 19 was released late in 2019, last year was Covid 20, now we have 21. You not following the news?
I don't think the 19 had anything to do with.... never mind....interesting... Jo..erm, Mr Soap and how are you planning to accomplish establishing digital golf as the new sport of kings? Jeff just chipped in for birdie on the 5th to half the hole.
Not the sport of kings son, the sport of the masses. Not only am I the president of the PGA - the Pixel Golfers Association, I am also a major stake holder in Fiber Finesse and I hold exclusive rights to all digital golf games. We are hosting the Cider Cup on behalf of the Brew Crew as a precursor to the launch of our exclusive online game in April next year with the inauguration game being hosted at Augusta. And we have an illustrious person as a sponsor too. His identity is still very hush-hush.
Augusta? Mr Soap, you saying everybody will be able to play at Augusta?
The Masters, at Augusta, of course! Where else?
Wow, now this is a scoop and a half. Just imagine women being able to play side by side with men. The same time, same course, same tournament. As equals. This is history making, you Sir are a visionary! (I must make sure the Pulitzer Board has the correct spelling of my name.)
Whoa Son, slow down, its called the Masters, not the Mistresses. Woman don't play games!
But Sir, Carol is one of our long standing and respected members. Look, there she is sitting, calibrating her controller, preparing to play later today! Am sure she'll be chomping at the bits to be an ambassador for your game.
Soap grabs the mic with a big hairy paw trying to mask the sound and shouts back over his shoulder - Chuck, there is a woman on one of the teams! Why was I not informed?...oh, Mr Forrest says its ok...yes, yes....ok then. Lets go of the mic, Mr Forrest says woman should also play. He actually said the more the merrier. I suppose if they tie their hair back and use lip stick sparingly it would be acceptable. But no nail polish and definitely no cleavage.
Scheiße! David throws his head skywards as he misses a 4 footer for birdie on the 10th that he needed to win the hole
What's that man saying about my wife??? Soap snapped.
No no, David just told Jeff it is his turn to shoot! But let me guess, you alluded earlier to an illustrious person being used as a sponsor, let me guess, is it Forrest Gump?
We'll never allow that half wit near our servers. Its Forest with just one R.
No! No way! THE Mr Forest? For real?
Yup, the one and only. We staged his bike accident with the help of Clocks and Pans, the renowned image influencers. Just to give him an out. To get him in of course.
Wait, what, that accident was staged?
I have to go, I've already said too much. Speak to Clocks.
Hands trembling I glance over at the over sized monitor
Strikers won 4&3
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Post by inflames47 on Mar 23, 2021 17:14:43 GMT -5
These write up's are hilarious!
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Post by Ashton Fox on Mar 23, 2021 17:50:12 GMT -5
Magners Monarchs Cyder Cup Round 1 action on Fox5 in 5! I'll be playing my first round of the tournament and streaming the action live.
Catch the here:
🦊🍺🦋
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![](https://i.postimg.cc/90wmw7zv/ts9.png")
