Mandela Memorial@The Ledges
Oct 3, 2020 14:12:34 GMT -5
coruler2, cajuncapgun, and 32 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Oct 3, 2020 14:12:34 GMT -5
As I sit here by one of the pools at the schedulers mansion, I cant not help think about what a crazy few weeks it has been. I don't think any of you can understand the stress and tension that schedulers go through at the start of a new season, and double that when it also involves a new game. There is the stress of hiring new staff to do the bulk of the work, the tension of avoiding the admins as the prowl around doing god knows what. They rarely leave their lairs but when they do, its best to avoid all eye contact or they will try to pass on some crazy idea about making the tours better, believe me, when they start, there is no shutting them up. So here we are with just a few hours to go before the tour cards are handed out and we see who was lucky enough to be granted entry to this tour, the most prestigious tour on tgctours. Will we see some familiar faces( I really hope not, I mean that last lot, well they were really the dregs of the last game), or some new faces, bringing a element of dignity and class to these forums, only time will tell, but no matter who joins us here, I want to wish you all a welcome to a new season here on the web.com. Dammit, silly me, I forgot about that ridiculous name change, welcome to a new season of The Korn Ferry Tour. Hold on a second, one of my secretaries is shouting from the balcony.
" What do you mean they have change the name again?"
" So whats it called now?"
" The Kinetic Tour? What the hell does that even mean?"
" Well, bloody google it then and tell me what the first website you see with Kinetic in it says"
" Kinetic Sand 6lb Bucket, now available at Symths toys for just 30 euro, are you honestly trying to tell me our tour, has been named after a damn kids toy, what the @!$# is going on? Have they renamed the other tours?"
" What have they called them, the barbie and ken tours,ha ha"
" Platinum and Elite, Jesus Christ, they get names sounding important and we get Kinetic, the damn admins showing us the middle finger again, unbelievable, ok turn on the dictation machine again"
I have made another error, how silly of me, we are now called the Kinetic tour, and may I say, what a fantastic new name we have been giving but the wonderful people that run tgctours. Anyway, for anyone new here, let me introduce myself. I am Dan Sheehan, the scheduler here on The Kinetic Tour and I am the person you come to if you have any issues here. As previous members of this tour will tell you( remember previous members, I have a file of every single one of you little s**ts, files you do not want made public) I am a kind, welcoming, open and caring scheduler. Who's door is always open to you when you need to pay your scheduler taxes, your locker fees, your administrative payments, your once off(per round) tee off time costs, I am always here for you. If you have any other issues or complaints, please make an appointment with one of my secretaries and I am sure we can arrange a time that is convenient to me. I am sure you will be happy here on The Kinetic Tour and will never want to leave. The Kinetic tour, a slice of golfing heaven.
So with the arrival of a new game, I decided that I would search high and low for the best courses by the best designers for your golfing pleasure. Unfortunately due to one or two previous misunderstandings, due to designers tending to be pretentious twats and due to restraining orders that was not possible but I have found courses for you to play anyway because that is the kind of scheduler I am. First up for the new season we have The Ledges by the dude with not one, but two Irish surnames rfitzgerald11 . This is not the first time Ryan has had a course featured on this tour, I know, that's a shock to me to but any port in a storm. Actually there is a little interesting bit of history to this course. Unknown to everyone except us important people here on tgctours, there was a secret beta test to help decide what difficulties settings would be perfect for the new season, no members of tgctours were invited to this test because lets be honest, none of you can keep your mouths shout and you would have blabbed it all over the forums before the any final decisions were made. For this beta test, we used Ryans course which was then called Mountain View golf course. Everything was going well, players were enjoying the tempo turned off, the unlimited put previews, the pro swing. When the admins announced that the difficulty was changing to masters, two of the beta testers could not handle the stress, walked to the ledge of the closest cliff and well, sadly they met their demise. Once tempo was added to the swing, we lost seven more testers. When the remaining testers were told that putt preview and the power meter were being removed, there was a cry of screw this, and like lemmings, of they marched, never to be seen again. It was then, that the admins knew that had gotten the settings just right. To honor the memories of those brave testers, the course was renamed The Ledges and a memorial with all their names was installed at the ledge from which they all jumped. That is the true and 100 percent accurate account of how this course got its name. Will you succeed where they failed and survive the first week on The Kinetic Tour? or will your name be added to the memorial? Good luck to every single one of you and maybe, just maybe, I will see you again next week.
" What do you mean they have change the name again?"
" So whats it called now?"
" The Kinetic Tour? What the hell does that even mean?"
" Well, bloody google it then and tell me what the first website you see with Kinetic in it says"
" Kinetic Sand 6lb Bucket, now available at Symths toys for just 30 euro, are you honestly trying to tell me our tour, has been named after a damn kids toy, what the @!$# is going on? Have they renamed the other tours?"
" What have they called them, the barbie and ken tours,ha ha"
" Platinum and Elite, Jesus Christ, they get names sounding important and we get Kinetic, the damn admins showing us the middle finger again, unbelievable, ok turn on the dictation machine again"
I have made another error, how silly of me, we are now called the Kinetic tour, and may I say, what a fantastic new name we have been giving but the wonderful people that run tgctours. Anyway, for anyone new here, let me introduce myself. I am Dan Sheehan, the scheduler here on The Kinetic Tour and I am the person you come to if you have any issues here. As previous members of this tour will tell you( remember previous members, I have a file of every single one of you little s**ts, files you do not want made public) I am a kind, welcoming, open and caring scheduler. Who's door is always open to you when you need to pay your scheduler taxes, your locker fees, your administrative payments, your once off(per round) tee off time costs, I am always here for you. If you have any other issues or complaints, please make an appointment with one of my secretaries and I am sure we can arrange a time that is convenient to me. I am sure you will be happy here on The Kinetic Tour and will never want to leave. The Kinetic tour, a slice of golfing heaven.
So with the arrival of a new game, I decided that I would search high and low for the best courses by the best designers for your golfing pleasure. Unfortunately due to one or two previous misunderstandings, due to designers tending to be pretentious twats and due to restraining orders that was not possible but I have found courses for you to play anyway because that is the kind of scheduler I am. First up for the new season we have The Ledges by the dude with not one, but two Irish surnames rfitzgerald11 . This is not the first time Ryan has had a course featured on this tour, I know, that's a shock to me to but any port in a storm. Actually there is a little interesting bit of history to this course. Unknown to everyone except us important people here on tgctours, there was a secret beta test to help decide what difficulties settings would be perfect for the new season, no members of tgctours were invited to this test because lets be honest, none of you can keep your mouths shout and you would have blabbed it all over the forums before the any final decisions were made. For this beta test, we used Ryans course which was then called Mountain View golf course. Everything was going well, players were enjoying the tempo turned off, the unlimited put previews, the pro swing. When the admins announced that the difficulty was changing to masters, two of the beta testers could not handle the stress, walked to the ledge of the closest cliff and well, sadly they met their demise. Once tempo was added to the swing, we lost seven more testers. When the remaining testers were told that putt preview and the power meter were being removed, there was a cry of screw this, and like lemmings, of they marched, never to be seen again. It was then, that the admins knew that had gotten the settings just right. To honor the memories of those brave testers, the course was renamed The Ledges and a memorial with all their names was installed at the ledge from which they all jumped. That is the true and 100 percent accurate account of how this course got its name. Will you succeed where they failed and survive the first week on The Kinetic Tour? or will your name be added to the memorial? Good luck to every single one of you and maybe, just maybe, I will see you again next week.