As promised, here begins the recap of a very special Catcherman's Cup Rivalry Showdown feat. Art Vanderlay and myself - BLUNDERDOME: Two dolts enter, two dolts leave.
Round 1 - A Limerick in Many Stanzas
There once was a golfer named Vandelay
Whom on his PC pixel golf he'd play
His skill insufficient
At losing efficient
He would play the TGC because he got himself kicked off the Chess Club after testing positive for steroids
Another chap out there was Mark
A bad golfer with lots of snark
He tried two machines
With low res view screens
And squinting so much gave him a terrible headache that it interfered with his ability to play with any sense of quality
The two met up one day at Huy Fong
A CC-Am tourney of time long
Mark squeaked out the title
A win that Art found to be vital
For he folded badly in fourth round giving Mark the event win, thus generatng the rivalry
For years, the two fought back and forth
Which nobody asked for it's worth
Mark sustained an edge
That Art couldn't hedge
And it was only once Art aced one of the Skyfall courses in Dirtbags that he finally won one
The ninth season of Dirtbags came
And Catcherman made a new game
The two golfers paired
With neither one scared
Excited they were to finally be able to play another proper four round match in full view of the public eye (bet you're sorry about that, dear reader...)
The golf course was titled in French
Surprisingly free of a stench
Translation was hard
For this non-speaking bard
So he guessed it was something like Goosepoop on the Fairways and Greens CC
At the first tee, the order decided
Which Catcherman duly presided
A challenge of skill
Brought the fanbase a thrill
And Art took first honors because he farted loudest and Dan thought it was hysterical
His tee shot took off like a rocket
He grinned and said "Hey! Don't you knock it!"
The fairway found true
As it dropped from the blue
Then Mark muttered something unintelligible about being a lucky bastard
Not to be shown up, Mark tried it
The ball left the tee as he skied it
It came to the ground
With nary a sound
And stopped within reachable distance of the par 5 green, which bode well for the bad golfer
I could go on like this all day
But you know what they say: work - no play
So I'll get to the end
Words are starting to blend
And I'm writing from my workspace and need to get back to it quickly
The first two holes yielded birdie
For each golfer, paunchy and nerdy
You can guess which is which
For they easily switch
Because they are both equally middle aged with all the trappings that come with it
The round was nip-tuck 'til the turn
A one stroke lead Arthur did earn
Where Art offered drink
That Mark quickly did sink
And off to the tenth hole they went, where little to Art's knowledge, Mark slipped a roofie into Art's beer
The rest of the round Art did falter
As birdies evaded the malter (Ales,get it?)
And Mark stayed consistent
The bird putts persistent
As the lead Art held quickly vanished, and Mark pulled away down the stretch
The dust cleared with Mark as the victor
Art served notice by the evictor
Round one was in hand
And that's where we stand
The final score Mark -8 to Art -6
#NotEveryoneCanWriteLimericks