Raleigh Open@Revival Club
May 8, 2021 9:16:32 GMT -5
crushtastic, Art Vandelay, and 5 more like this
Post by hmammoth on May 8, 2021 9:16:32 GMT -5
You know it's not easy being a scheduler, it can be a damn lonely life, travelling the world to find the best golf courses for you guys to play, negotiations with course owners, course designer, event sponsors, every one of them wanting something, Then there is the hatred, hatred from designers whose courses are not selected, hatred from the designers whose courses are selected but are not happy with the settings, hatred from the players that hate tough settings, hatred from the players that hate easy settings. I mean, sure there are perks, the private jet, the luxury yachts, the five star hotels, the lavish parties where the worlds best bands are hired to perform private shows but later in the evening as I lie awake in bed, with the echoes from the amplifiers ringing in my head, I smoke the day's last cigarette, remembering what they said, here I am, back on the road again. There is just something missing.
So there I was, far away from home in Raleigh, checking out yet another golf course when I heard music, and shouting, joyful shouting. I thought to myself, did someone hit a hole in one, but no, it was to loud for that and one voice was rising above the rest, a voice that people were listening to, a voice that people were praising, a voice that demanded and received attention. I walked towards the noise and came across a crowd of people, the were clapping, they were dancing, they were watching a man up on a stage. I stopped to listen " Use the swing the golfing gods have gifted you and go play golf" , he said." Then the gods, said, Tee it up and strike and if your ball is lost, it shall then be found, and if you slice your ball, the gods shall walk along side you to the rough, and when you are judging the break on the green, have faith as the gods are judging you"
I tapped the shoulder on the man in front of my, " What the hell is going on here " I asked, "Not hell" he replied, " God, that there is the reverend mctrees02 , isn't he wonderful. He used to travel the world holding revival meetings, then the golfing gods spoke to him in person, Build it, and they will come they said, build not a revival tent but a revival golf course, spread our words, so he did. He is inspirational and he can perform miracles. Once a design called b101 approached the reverend and told him that he can not build good golf courses, that the people laugh at him, the reverend laid hands on him and he then designed Playa Saona. Another time a twitch streamer called WhatAboutAmeobi approached the reverend, and complained that he has only 5 followers, the reverend took his hand and they prayed and lo and behold, he was granted 100,000 followers" . I stopped him there, "I have seen these streams," I said, "he has no where near that many followers". " Alas" the man replied " the devil entered this ones stream, he sold merchandise, he sold raids, he sold reviews but keep all the rewards to himself, the reverend was angry and with terrible vengeance, he smote 90,900 of the followers to show him the error of his ways, the reverend giveth but the reverend also taketh away should the golfing gods command for he is just a man doing the work of those above, he once tried to give the tgctours admins some personality but alas, even that was to much for the reverend, lets be silent, he is about the speak again".
"Like you, I am just a human,and like all humans, I need to live, I need to eat and drink, I need a place to rest his head, I need my gold golf cart to transport himself around the course to pray with you all. The gods may have given me a gift, but it is up to you to allow me to live so I can spread the word of the golfing gods, to help the golfing gods give you a tail wind on that long par 4. So please, join the Revival Club today for just $200,000 dollars a year, application forms are available in the clubs house"
I did not find what I was looking for at the Revival Club, but you know what, screw what ever is missing in my life, I am sure I can buy what ever is missing and buy collaborating with the Reverend mctrees02 and using the Kinetic tour as a promotional event for his course, we are going to make a damn fortune for those gullible fools. Anyway, this week, see's very high winds in round two. For those of you that wish for that wind to be a tail wind, please make an appointment to have a personal meeting with the reverend, places are limited, so those that pay first, pray first. For everyone else, good luck out there, without divine intervention, you are going to need it.
So there I was, far away from home in Raleigh, checking out yet another golf course when I heard music, and shouting, joyful shouting. I thought to myself, did someone hit a hole in one, but no, it was to loud for that and one voice was rising above the rest, a voice that people were listening to, a voice that people were praising, a voice that demanded and received attention. I walked towards the noise and came across a crowd of people, the were clapping, they were dancing, they were watching a man up on a stage. I stopped to listen " Use the swing the golfing gods have gifted you and go play golf" , he said." Then the gods, said, Tee it up and strike and if your ball is lost, it shall then be found, and if you slice your ball, the gods shall walk along side you to the rough, and when you are judging the break on the green, have faith as the gods are judging you"
I tapped the shoulder on the man in front of my, " What the hell is going on here " I asked, "Not hell" he replied, " God, that there is the reverend mctrees02 , isn't he wonderful. He used to travel the world holding revival meetings, then the golfing gods spoke to him in person, Build it, and they will come they said, build not a revival tent but a revival golf course, spread our words, so he did. He is inspirational and he can perform miracles. Once a design called b101 approached the reverend and told him that he can not build good golf courses, that the people laugh at him, the reverend laid hands on him and he then designed Playa Saona. Another time a twitch streamer called WhatAboutAmeobi approached the reverend, and complained that he has only 5 followers, the reverend took his hand and they prayed and lo and behold, he was granted 100,000 followers" . I stopped him there, "I have seen these streams," I said, "he has no where near that many followers". " Alas" the man replied " the devil entered this ones stream, he sold merchandise, he sold raids, he sold reviews but keep all the rewards to himself, the reverend was angry and with terrible vengeance, he smote 90,900 of the followers to show him the error of his ways, the reverend giveth but the reverend also taketh away should the golfing gods command for he is just a man doing the work of those above, he once tried to give the tgctours admins some personality but alas, even that was to much for the reverend, lets be silent, he is about the speak again".
"Like you, I am just a human,and like all humans, I need to live, I need to eat and drink, I need a place to rest his head, I need my gold golf cart to transport himself around the course to pray with you all. The gods may have given me a gift, but it is up to you to allow me to live so I can spread the word of the golfing gods, to help the golfing gods give you a tail wind on that long par 4. So please, join the Revival Club today for just $200,000 dollars a year, application forms are available in the clubs house"
I did not find what I was looking for at the Revival Club, but you know what, screw what ever is missing in my life, I am sure I can buy what ever is missing and buy collaborating with the Reverend mctrees02 and using the Kinetic tour as a promotional event for his course, we are going to make a damn fortune for those gullible fools. Anyway, this week, see's very high winds in round two. For those of you that wish for that wind to be a tail wind, please make an appointment to have a personal meeting with the reverend, places are limited, so those that pay first, pray first. For everyone else, good luck out there, without divine intervention, you are going to need it.