Omaha Steaks Open@ St. Moritz Valley
Oct 27, 2019 5:45:46 GMT -5
Crazy Croc, up mup kupen nup, and 4 more like this
Post by hmammoth on Oct 27, 2019 5:45:46 GMT -5
I was in England recently for the brexit negotiations and how it would effect British courses being used on tgctours. There were some tough discussions but I am happy enough with the outcome and the fees I will be paid, I mean the administration costs for future course use. Anyway, I decided to pay a visit to SAM While I was there as it has been a year since we used one of his courses on tour. I called to his house when he answered the door asked him would he design a course for us to play on tour. I was shocked when he said, no thank you and closed the door in my face. I thought to myself, that’s strange, I need to get to the bottom of this so I knocked on the door again and when he answered I said to him, that’s strange, I need to get to the bottom of this. He launched into a tirade “ Your just using me Dan, you only come to me when you want a easy course. You only come to me when you want to give your players a break from windy conditions, from sloped greens. You only come to me when you want to give your players the impression they are golf masters. The last time you used one of my courses the cut line was like 40 under, I read the forums, I saw the players laugh at the easiest course on tour. It hurt my feelings, I can make hard courses to you know, I can make players cry and moan to, I can,I can I can”, as he stamped his foot. “Simon” I said “ I use your courses because of the quality, I am not concerned about difficulty, if you want to make a hard course, I will put it on tour.”
He glared at me, “Promise” he asked, “ pinky promise, cross your heart and hope to die promise”. “ Sure Simon. Out of curiosity, how are you going to make it difficult?” “ Trees” he replied. “ But don’t all course have trees”, I asked. “Yes, but I am going to put my trees right in the sight line, my trees are going to block peoples shots, and living in the trees there will be squirrels and the squirrels will shoot red laser beams from their eyes that go pew pew pew and will give players a nasty little burn, and there’s going to be water, lots of water with hundreds of piranha fish” I interrupted him, “ let’s me guess, the piranha shoot lasers from their eyes”. “ Are you stupid” he screamed at me. “ the water would short circuit the lasers, the piranha will have big sharp pointy teeth, dripping with green poison and when they bite, it will give players a rash that they can’t stop scratching.” At this stage, I started to back away, concerned for my safety. The last thing I heard as I got into my limousine was “ sand sharks, the bunkers will have sand sharks that”. And I heard no more as the door of the car closed.
So, good luck everyone, on what I guess is the hardest and most dangerous course ever used on the tours. It might also be the last Simon Morris course ever used on tour but you never know, there’s medicine for all sort of things these days.
He glared at me, “Promise” he asked, “ pinky promise, cross your heart and hope to die promise”. “ Sure Simon. Out of curiosity, how are you going to make it difficult?” “ Trees” he replied. “ But don’t all course have trees”, I asked. “Yes, but I am going to put my trees right in the sight line, my trees are going to block peoples shots, and living in the trees there will be squirrels and the squirrels will shoot red laser beams from their eyes that go pew pew pew and will give players a nasty little burn, and there’s going to be water, lots of water with hundreds of piranha fish” I interrupted him, “ let’s me guess, the piranha shoot lasers from their eyes”. “ Are you stupid” he screamed at me. “ the water would short circuit the lasers, the piranha will have big sharp pointy teeth, dripping with green poison and when they bite, it will give players a rash that they can’t stop scratching.” At this stage, I started to back away, concerned for my safety. The last thing I heard as I got into my limousine was “ sand sharks, the bunkers will have sand sharks that”. And I heard no more as the door of the car closed.
So, good luck everyone, on what I guess is the hardest and most dangerous course ever used on the tours. It might also be the last Simon Morris course ever used on tour but you never know, there’s medicine for all sort of things these days.